Dark Poetry #2 |
i had to say good bye |
Ginners Member
since 2000-07-22
Posts 339Mullica Hill, New Jersey |
I wrote this about a friend of mine that died from a heroin over dose i was the last person to see him and i miss him so much. R.I.P. Dan Tobin 2-3-98. it isnt quite done yet so any ideas would be nice thanks I had to say goodbye I had to say goodbye I had to say something But I didn’t know what words to use So I held your hand in mine and looked at you through teary eyes I told you how much I love you I told you to wait for me I said that I hoped every day I lived you didn’t rest I asked you to follow me, haunt me, torture me Just never leave me alone, always be with me All I wanted was for you to promise me you would always be with me But you couldn’t talk back any more, but still I knew I never want you to leave me some place where I can’t find you Then I kissed your hand goodbye and walked away again I was one of the first there and the last to leave your side that day I saw your mother sitting there behind the glass --- on display I wouldn’t look back at her, but I could feel her watching me I never looked back at her and I never looked at you again I never looked back at you because I knew you better I knew you would always be here with me I know you will always wait and never leave me some place I’m looking forward to the day I can touch you again Sometimes in a sea of faces I think I can see you watching me So I knew I didn’t have to look back, I know you are here I had to say goodbye, but I knew goodbye wasn’t forever [This message has been edited by Ginners (edited 07-26-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Gin Leigh - All Rights Reserved | |||
MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
so very sad Ginners {{hugs}} I can't help you with this..but I believe it is fine the way it is and leaves an impact on the reader of how much you care about and will remember your friend......I hope you never have to go through this again...nor anyone you know. ~~softly Maureen |
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Wren Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312 |
Ginners- You poor thing! What a sad experiance! I'm sorry about your loss. As for the poem- it's perfect, don't touch it! I love the feel of it... kind of like stream-of-conciousness writing. It has strong emotional impact! You did a excellent job with this! -Wren P.S.- I'm truely sorry about your friend, and I think you are a brave person to have gone through such an ordeal. The thread of destiny Unknown by anyone Unseen by anyone Winds around your heart Moist with tears -Vampire Princess Miyu Theme |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~FULL of feeling, which just seeps itself into the reader. Don't change a thing. It's a most beautiful expression of your love for your friend. My heart is heavy for the two of you. Be well G. *Peace. |
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Deborah1 Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653New Hampshire |
Im so sorry for your loss. I agree about not changing anything here..your words are from the heart and must go unchanged, because they are so special and full of feelings!! You did a wonderful job here!! The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose...--Hada Bejar |
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kynder Senior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 537Tallahassee, Florida |
this is a natural poet at work here. the pain will lead you, strange how it works that way. but you have a great rhythym, i can see it in this very raw work. very well done. kynder Sunshine can not bleach The snow, Nor time unmake what Poets know. Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
So very sad and full of feelings. A friend so dear would be with you always in your heart and soul. It's scary facing that situation knowing you don't want to be left behind etc, but obviously you still have a life to lead and things to accomplish. Go ahead, make your friend and yourself proud!!! *hugs* I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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firejerm Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 217Springfield, OH, good ol USA |
*simply bows to the greatness of your heart, and the mind within it to write such a beautiful piece* Usually I find reading boring, but your title drew me in and I was captured from the first two lines. It's a shame something so tragic had to occur for you to write something so beautiful. *bows again* Jeremy "Those little slices of death, how I loathe them." -Edgar Allen Poe |
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LOTR Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 68New Jersey |
Ginnrs..I know how you feel here, lost alot of friends the same way. Although I wasn't with them at the time I still feel them here sometimes. As for the work, don't touch it! it's great the way it is Richi Look back at your past, but don't stare too long.You might not like what you find |
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