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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

0 posted 2000-06-19 10:29 PM

Would I could
erase the past
while saving parts
that are best in me,
all of that--
it would be done--
as sweetly as
a whisper, "please..."

If I could feel
the trace of finger,
echoes of your words
in linger,
if I could break
this fever--
still I'd not
be done for
If I were sun,
and you were dew,
I could not, would not,
diminish you.

I'd reverse all laws of universe,
if only just to breathe your breath.

© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2000-06-19 11:27 PM

yes yes yes
a taste of serenity at its sweetest...
perfect reflection me twin
*breathing 1n*
me loves ya ...

Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
2 posted 2000-06-20 12:38 PM

serenity, love it love


X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
3 posted 2000-06-20 01:03 AM

this was divine. I hope this is a definite inclusion in the book. Loved it muchly.

Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873
Hammond, La USA
4 posted 2000-06-20 02:08 AM

"If I could"
You did and you can.
Really great poem Serenity

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
5 posted 2000-06-20 02:12 AM

Could emotions get better than this? I know not!!!
I'd reverse all laws of universe,
if only just to breathe your breath.

Muchly enjoyed as I drown into the words here...

regards, sudhir.

Kit McCallum
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
6 posted 2000-06-20 06:59 AM

The sentiments and the format are wonderful Serentity ... just beautiful!

Best wishes,

Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
7 posted 2000-06-20 07:38 AM

Very cool style!!  I enjoyed this very much!!


"Creation of woman from the rib of Man: She was not made from his head to top him; nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him; but out of his side

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
8 posted 2000-06-20 07:45 AM

This is lovely.

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~

Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
9 posted 2000-06-20 09:30 AM

Serenity~Wow! This is GREAT!   -SEA  *vote*

Live,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB

Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
10 posted 2000-06-20 11:55 PM

serenity glad i saw this one yuh yuh
linda munday
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315
Adelaide, Australia
11 posted 2000-06-21 01:55 AM

If only just to breathe your breath...
Absolutely fantastic... love your poems, this one especially.

Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

12 posted 2000-06-21 01:58 AM

Another awesome poem. You are able to take pain, longing, desperation and need, and turn it into something sexy and almost harmless. If that's not strength -- if that's not an awesome poem -- then I'm insane!


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

13 posted 2000-06-21 06:28 AM

I would like to thank all, but especially Mike for the "sexy and almost harmless"--sounds like an insult but exactly the mood I was striving for...and to my muse---don't you believe that for a second!

thank you much me friends...

Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596
Callington, Cornwall, England
14 posted 2000-06-22 06:47 AM

Serenity, the only words I can use to describe this poem are "serenely beautiful".


"We are the music makers and we are the makers of dreams." - Willy Wonka.

Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685
15 posted 2000-06-22 06:54 AM

I loved it serenity...


Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
16 posted 2000-06-22 01:12 PM

To me ... is one of your best
... pure poetry ...

Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

17 posted 2000-06-22 02:00 PM

This is a beautiful poem! It definently belongs in our book!

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea

Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
18 posted 2000-06-26 08:29 PM

Hi Serenity,

This is so wonderful, I very much enjoyed.

Love,  Cerenity

[This message has been edited by Cerenity (edited 06-26-2000).]

Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
19 posted 2000-06-26 08:32 PM

Poetry gets no more beautiful than this. I love it.....
A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
20 posted 2000-06-30 03:09 AM

Lovely my dear!
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
21 posted 2000-07-04 12:26 PM

Wow breathing a big sigh! What we wouldn't do for love  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

22 posted 2000-07-14 10:31 AM

Wow...thanks everybody, as this is my sentimental favorite...written for the sweetest if I spin again? lol
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
23 posted 2000-07-14 11:42 AM

I would call this amazing
And I would call you an outstanding poet
And I would vote for this in a minute
And I will

Ps Wouldn't you know, I signed off and forgot to vote, but it is now officially voted for

[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 07-14-2000).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

24 posted 2000-07-18 12:20 PM

Elizabeth, I cannot begin to tell you how much your reply means to me.  I am honored.
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

25 posted 2000-07-18 12:27 PM

ok one more vote won't make this any more outstanding, but I have to put my vote on this.....incredible!
  If I were sun,
  and you were dew,
  I could not, would not,
  diminish you.

  I'd reverse all laws of universe,
  if only just to breathe your breath.

this makes me remember when I felt like this...sigh...great writing

[This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 07-18-2000).]

Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
26 posted 2000-07-18 01:30 PM

Beautiful and elegant. Definite poetic experience all the way through. My vote is yours....Take care...
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
27 posted 2000-07-19 12:39 PM

Just wonderful my friend. . . just wonderful. . .


That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

Heather Miller
since 2000-07-19
Posts 409
Bryan, Ohio USA
28 posted 2000-07-19 12:53 PM

I'm new here but what I have read so far has REALLY touched me. There is so much emotion here.
I also love how you all support eachothers work  )
Heather Anne Miller/Gambler

With God all things are possible.

Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
29 posted 2000-08-03 11:27 AM

My turn! (and you thought I'd missed it!)  
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
30 posted 2000-08-03 01:39 PM

Wonderful writing, Serenity!
since 2000-01-11
Posts 264
houston, tx.
31 posted 2000-08-04 12:40 PM

Very Sensual..lovely poem..

"To live is to love; To truly LOVE is to live!" ~kg~

Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
32 posted 2000-08-05 05:00 PM

very romantic  


"Half of what i say is meaningless; but i say it so that the other half may reach you."
-Kahlil Gibran

Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462
New Zealand
33 posted 2000-08-05 09:26 PM

Mmm.. what a poem! *_^ yeah, I LOVE your ending to this.. gotta be sweet.. hehe..

"If I were sun,
  and you were dew,
  I could not, would not,
  diminish you.

  I'd reverse all laws of universe,
  if only just to breathe your breath"




"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-tsu
(Please e-mail me at instead of the e-ma

shadow of poetry
since 2000-07-22
Posts 76
midwest usa
34 posted 2000-08-06 09:37 PM

oh my gosh this is the most cool poem
goodness i just love the way you write them
out long form
it really adds the the emotions
sis told me i would dig your work
she was right
peace & poetry
lil sis

my sister is the poet
I am but a shadow
by the light of poetry
I read then dream

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

35 posted 2004-06-13 02:29 PM

Doing the birthday bump from me library of rhyme divine Sen keepers.
Its your day..the forums shall be your marquee

Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
36 posted 2004-06-13 04:41 PM

YES!!!!!!!   Gleeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
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