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Final Forgiveness (Thanks for the ideas!)
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Final Forgiveness (Thanks for the ideas!) |
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michellemckee Junior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 49Tucson, AZ |
Tears slide silently from swollen eyes < !signature-->Teeth tightly clenched to silence the cries Fists, oh so tiny, balled up tight Praying fervently for forgiveness tonight To young to understand, yet it’s all too clear It must be her fault, that’s what her mind hears She doesn’t know why she is bad like she is But mommy can’t forgive her all of her sins Just one more night like so many past Yet something is different, this is the last Done is the fighting for survival each day The debt is forgiven the price has been paid Soon, very soon, Mommy will stop being so mad Mommy will be happy and so will her Dad And maybe in heaven she will learn to be good If she only knew now, she certainly would Peace slowly falls across a sweet little face A soul gently rises to a heavenly place The angels are singing a beautiful song They take her small hand and carry her home Life is not a spectator Sport! Dance like no one's watching. Love like it's never going to hurt. [This message has been edited by michellemckee (edited 07-27-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michelle Harriman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
very well written... I can picture that samll girl with her fists balled up tight... such sad reality...but I must say very well written...the end has almost made me cry well done... are you serious about wanting a title for it? glad you submitted for the book... If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves from which evolves the light... Avanti Rao |
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Heather Miller Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 409Bryan, Ohio USA |
Very good writing. I could feel what the little girl is going through. So sad for her  A Title????????hhhmmmmmmm.......... how about........Final Forgiveness Pretty lame huh. LOL never mind I'm not good at that sort of thing  Anyway, VERY nice writing. LITL, Heather With God all things are possible. |
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Geoffrey Sonnen Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 142Reading, PA USA |
Hi Michelle, I thought this was excellent. To be honest, when I moved past the second stanza, the word that popped into my mind was "Forgiveness". Just thought I'd put my two cents in and give you my vote to boot ! Geoffrey |
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Flower Power Junior Member
since 2000-07-26
Posts 29Ottawa, Ontario, Canada |
Hello. Such a sad poem. I'm not good with titles myself. In my opinion, there's no way of properly titling this poem. No title will do it justice. Sorry I wasn't of more help. Love, Stephanie Lafleur "Can anything be sadder than work unfinished? Yes: work never begun." ~Christina Rossetti |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
If this went where I think it went then it's killing me I mean really killing me......I don't know....Heaven's Refuge.....maybe?? Whew! good write I am quite emotionally taken. |
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michellemckee Junior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 49Tucson, AZ |
Thank you all for your suggestions and encouragement both here and in emails! I like the idea of forgiveness. It leaves the question of who indeed is forgiven the child, or perhaps as she departs to a happier place she herself forgives? Thanks again! Life is not a spectator Sport! Dance like no one's watching. Love like it's never going to hurt. |
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Heather Miller Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 409Bryan, Ohio USA |
That was a beautiful thought in your reply. I loved it. LITL, Heather With God all things are possible. |
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Heather Miller Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 409Bryan, Ohio USA |
btw I forgot to mention I am honored you took my suggestion even though I thought it was lame.......LOL LITL, Heather With God all things are possible. |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Michelle, another beautiful one. and another vote. It may be the cowboy hat that swayed me, or was it the red hair...  Parker |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very well written, Michelle. Very touching. Denise |
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michellemckee Junior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 49Tucson, AZ |
Heather, Forgiveness was in the back of my mind all along and the Finality of the poem was ever sdo evident. Just wonder why I hadn't put those together myself!! Thank you again for the title. Thank you Parker for the support! As your biggest fan it thrills me to know you read my verse as well! Life is not a spectator Sport! Dance like no one's watching. Love like it's never going to hurt. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Michelle~ My heart breaks to read these reminders of the victims of abuse ... but I read them and I cry and I get involved ! Hoping everyone involves themselves in the awareness programs that can help to protect the children of our society. Thanks for sharing this. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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