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Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

0 posted 2000-06-27 06:54 PM

her fingers
tired of composing
the too many paper teardrops
needed to cleanse the ache that
had sprung from far deeper
than she really cared to know
and she felt over exposed
and slightly chilled
at the abandoning
of so many
so many
and so she slipped back into her jacket
stuck her hands deep into the pockets
and as she walked away thought
she should have known better
her hands always hurt
when they
get cold

© Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
1 posted 2000-06-27 07:34 PM

"and so she slipped back into her jacket"

that line gave me chills
a great piece of work here, corazon... and... i love it centered... makes the structure of it work so well with the lyric and cutting tone

enjoyed much! glad you came and posted this. your work is so intriguing and special

whoops, forgot to vote.. came back to vote... see? i'm not the only one who forgets that little box

[This message has been edited by doreen peri (edited 06-27-2000).]

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

2 posted 2000-06-27 07:37 PM

WOW, very nice indeed!  

Yes, I am here, but I am dead, not alive,
my body goes on, my spirit has died,
and I though alive, feel dead inside.

"Rose Petal"

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2000-06-27 08:02 PM

very cool poem Corazon...
love the presentaion and style...
most of the emotions...
yes...some days we could write till
our fingers bleed.
take care, jm

baby dont you work so hard
for this prize you've found,
it will all be gone-when you turn around,
cause nothing lasts forever anyway.
Rick Roberts

Poet deVine
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
4 posted 2000-06-27 09:29 PM

I like this one, very much.  
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-06-27 09:37 PM

Much enjoyment here.
I like the formatting also.

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~

Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
6 posted 2000-06-27 11:13 PM

I felt this one right to the
core...wonderful work~

Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
7 posted 2000-06-27 11:38 PM

I can't imagine any poem you would write that I would not vote exception here.....a beautifully delicate poem
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

8 posted 2000-06-28 09:49 AM

thank you all, I always liked this one, but hesitated to submit, your comments are much appreciated  
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
9 posted 2000-06-28 05:01 PM

Corazon, wow wonderfully written. delicate,  and beautiful.

"monuments put from pen to paper turns me into a gutless wonder" Manic street preachers

X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
10 posted 2000-06-29 04:19 PM



Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
11 posted 2000-06-29 04:30 PM

So delightfully unique and touching!
~Vote registered~

Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida
12 posted 2000-06-30 10:01 AM

I love this, especially the last lines! Wonderful!
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
13 posted 2000-07-03 03:43 AM

I think this would make a good addition.

Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

14 posted 2000-07-03 09:16 AM

thanks all, appreciate the comments much  
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

15 posted 2000-07-03 05:28 PM

You always express your emotions with such clarity! Very well done, as always!  


Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

16 posted 2000-07-03 11:21 PM

wonderfully written and presented.  
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

17 posted 2000-07-17 02:40 PM

thanks both of you...*soft smiles and sighs*
Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
18 posted 2000-07-17 02:42 PM

A really enjoyable, although sad, poem. I thought the presentation was excellent too.


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