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I want to be adult . . .
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I want to be adult . . . |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I want to be adult about these things, She said, her fingers wrapped around a cup To warm her hands because she never drank The coffee he was always paying for. And what is that supposed to mean, he said. His eyes remained on the dirty silver spoon Hispanic hands were taking away; he heard Glasses toasting some delight somewhere else. It's not that you've been boring or bad to me, She glanced across the dining room and smiled At children running across the floor that led Her back to where she didn't want to be. At first, it was, you know, very nice. She watched him snap his fingers angrily At the high school boy who rushed to fill his cup And then the waiter who picked up the check. But I'm tired of watching the faces of others When you are not looking at them. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Brad - All Rights Reserved | |||
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Whoa - lots said in this piece, Brad. Lots of images - this is very good enjoyed ~netswan |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
great post brad.. chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Loved it the first time I read it, love it now...  |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
I like this, it's very deep, layered with meanings and ideas. You can have my vote, but not b/c you're the moderator of the only forum I basically ever post in. Moreso b/c I want you be accepted, and then go to a book signing dressed in a wookie suit as the high priest of Trevorism. *grins* Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Ah, yes - I recall this piece - It's a good'n, Brad - I like it..  |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
I was there with the two in this poem!! So much said in this piece!!! It is a good one!! Bridgette  "Creation of woman from the rib of Man: She was not made from his head to top him; nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him; but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved." -Unknown |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
whew...felt the sting of this one.. very well written and so strong on the emotional imagery ... with a subtle edge of bitterness ... perfect choice jm |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
I remember this from ca and you have polished it to perfection  |
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Novacaine For The Soul Member
since 2000-05-26
Posts 122New Orleans |
dear brad, a small slice of life with sorrowful overtones... i found myself reading and re-reading this one... superb job... sincerely, a sad tomato |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
Brad...wow, and seeing as we are not in CA...I won't tear this into shreds...naw actually I wouldn't anyways this was quite an insight into a breakup. Sheesh, I feel for them! (I've been there!) *hugs* ~Heather |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wonderful imagery Brad ... you've set the seen very well in this! Well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
I remember this one Brad. The impact has not lessened. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
i like this one alot brad good job |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Very accomplished writing. You made a trip to a coffeehouse and a breakup almost epic. Well, okay, epic is defined as happening in more than one country -- so not epic, but far-reaching. Loved it; should definitely be in the book. Mike |
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Colin Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596Callington, Cornwall, England |
"I want to be adult about these things, She said, her fingers wrapped around a cup To warm her hands because she never drank The coffee he was always paying for." Womanspeak!!! it's beyond me too matey Eric. ps only kidding girlies, you know I love ya! "We are the music makers and we are the makers of dreams." - Willy Wonka. |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
wow brad, great peice luv Elyse |
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Craig Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 444 |
Vote! Yes, I admit your general rule. That every poet is a fool: But I myself may serve to show it. That every fool is not a poet. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Brad~ A most enjoyable read. Certainly worthy of inclusion in the book. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Brad: I saw this when you first posted it and decided to go looking for it. I am glad to see that it wasn't buried. This poem is probably the favorite of the others you have written and I am glad to see you have decided to submit it. Moving, solid work, Brad. Jim |
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epoet Member
since 2000-05-11
Posts 291grand rapid,MI, usa |
brad: very interesting poem. heavy on the imagery and deep on meaning. different perspective of a break up of a relationship that I never thought of. really good work, hope it gets in. P. J. Kotrch carpe diem A soul once touched is a soul once blessed by love |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Terrific images here Brad and so much said... Wonderful writing, you have my vote |
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
simply great work... well written poem If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves from which evolves the light... Avanti Rao |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
ok ...~grin~ now you've explained your methodology Mr Holmes you get my vote...  Watson [This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 07-13-2000).] |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
i just must say, that the first stanza sucked me in. it is a wonderful story. a serious conversation that neither one wants to be in and the distractions take them away. it's very good. good work, good vibes. "The bar is always open and the time is always right. If god's word goes unspoken, then the music plays all night." -Bradley Nowell |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Yeah! I remember this one and well (click) regards, sudhir |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
It said more than a mouthful! I really liked this one |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
You know, I was just thinking... I believe this poem elicited one of my first forays into CA after you were made moderator! |
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