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Drowning.......
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Drowning....... |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
I want to be naked, And run on the beach, Without feeling your eyes, I want to feel the fresh sea air, Have it weave all about me, Without feeling your breath, I want the soft ocean waves, To gently wash over me, Without feeling your touch, I want the chill sea water, To wrap itself around me, Without feeling you inside, I want the vast black ocean, To heave and swalow me up, Because you won't be there. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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linda munday Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315Adelaide, Australia |
Oh my goodness, I really like this. The opening line is eyecatching, and the ending is so final. Linda M. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Oh yes, I remember this one J, very deep, wonderful writing dear.  Yes, I am here, but I am dead, not alive, my body goes on, my spirit has died, and I though alive, feel dead inside. "Rose Petal" |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Thanx for your reply Linda, I am glad you enjoyed this poem. Thanx for your reply M, and for your lovely reply and comment. |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Thanx for your reply Linda, I am glad you enjoyed this poem. Thanx for your reply M, and for your lovely comment. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
This one deserves more votes (here's one from me). I loved the rhythm and the finality of this, like ocean itself. Mike |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Thanx for your lovely reply and comment Mike ( and for your vote too!) |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
I know this too well, I liked the whole idea of this poem, good job! ~Heather |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
mmmhmm. nice work. |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Thanx for your reply and comment Xangel, I'm glad you enjoyed it Thanx for reading my poem Joy, and for your comment too |
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Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
Very well written.  The first and last lines really stick out.With a little piece of tomorrow, You'll have to kiss yesterday goodbye. Because today won't last forever, And the past will only make you cry. |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Thanx for your lovely reply and comment Broken_Winged_Angel - I am glad that you enjoyed reading my poem |
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