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Moonshine
Member

since 1999-10-01

Posts 265
Australia

0 posted 2000-06-26 02:17 AM

I want to be naked,
And run on the beach,
Without feeling your eyes,

I want to feel the fresh sea air,
Have it weave all about me,
Without feeling your breath,

I want the soft ocean waves,
To gently wash over me,
Without feeling your touch,

I want the chill sea water,
To wrap itself around me,
Without feeling you inside,

I want the vast black ocean,
To heave and swalow me up,
Because you won't be there.

linda munday
Member

since 2000-06-17

Posts 315
Adelaide, Australia

1 posted 2000-06-26 07:01 AM

Oh my goodness, I really like this.
The opening line is eyecatching, and the ending is so final.
Linda M.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

2 posted 2000-06-26 07:44 AM

Oh yes, I remember this one J, very deep, wonderful writing dear.

Yes, I am here, but I am dead, not alive,
my body goes on, my spirit has died,
and I though alive, feel dead inside.

"Rose Petal"

Moonshine
Member

since 1999-10-01

Posts 265
Australia

3 posted 2000-06-26 10:38 PM

Thanx for your reply Linda, I am glad you enjoyed this poem.

Thanx for your reply M, and for your lovely reply and comment.

Moonshine
Member

since 1999-10-01

Posts 265
Australia

4 posted 2000-06-26 10:38 PM

Thanx for your reply Linda, I am glad you enjoyed this poem.

Thanx for your reply M, and for your lovely comment.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

5 posted 2000-06-27 12:50 PM

This one deserves more votes (here's one from me). I loved the rhythm and the finality of this, like ocean itself.

Mike

Moonshine
Member

since 1999-10-01

Posts 265
Australia

6 posted 2000-06-27 02:25 AM

Thanx for your lovely reply and comment Mike ( and for your vote too!)

X Angel
Senior Member

since 1999-11-07

Posts 1521
Oregon

7 posted 2000-06-29 01:50 PM

I know this too well, I liked the whole idea of this poem, good job!

~Heather

JOY 14
Senior Member

since 1999-09-22

Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA

8 posted 2000-06-29 01:52 PM

mmmhmm. nice work.

Moonshine
Member

since 1999-10-01

Posts 265
Australia

9 posted 2000-06-29 09:25 PM

Thanx for your reply and comment Xangel, I'm glad you enjoyed it

Thanx for reading my poem Joy, and for your comment too

Broken_Winged_Angel
Senior Member

since 2000-04-06

Posts 994
Small Town, Somewhere

10 posted 2000-10-05 06:42 AM

Very well written.

The first and last lines really stick out.

With a little piece of tomorrow,
You'll have to kiss yesterday goodbye.
Because today won't last forever,
And the past will only make you cry.

Moonshine
Member

since 1999-10-01

Posts 265
Australia

11 posted 2000-10-05 10:53 PM

Thanx for your lovely reply and comment Broken_Winged_Angel - I am glad that you enjoyed reading my poem

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