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scaled velvet
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scaled velvet |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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And this makes three. Mike -scaled velvet- She told me to smile more, pray often, Kneel in the water and live. I knelt down and looked at myself, Separated lips from teeth. She told me to keep my eyes closed: Follow the act, but never ever to lie. I prayed that night holding the clock That if god weren't dead he'd tried. Do sixteen dead apples, pits and cores Equal seventy-five nights of loving a whore? Do kisses always leave thorns or a firstborn When shackled clothes hit the floor? Did those sins and scrapes and rings through your tongue Leave your face with that cold, open sore? Do one million heartbeats and seven trillion breaths Leave you any less dead at the door? No. No, she said. [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (edited 06-17-2000).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Do one million heartbeats and seven trillion breaths Leave you any less dead at the door? No. No, she said. ------------------ you already know how i feel about this gem... never get tired of reading it. impacts me differently each time... always make me think. and thats a good thing  later-cool-poet-gator bs/jm |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wow! Striking Mike ... from the title right through to the content! Left me with all sorts of thoughts and emotions ... excellent! Best wishes, /Kit |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Mike~ Wow! I mean WOW!!  -SEA |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
I am totally unsure how this poem made me feel, but it did make me feel...WOW ~H |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
i like this one its artsy fartsy at its best!! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Janet, As always, glad you enjoy. Kit, Have fun sorting through all the sorts. SEA, Gracious thanks. Xangel, Sometimes it's good to feel unidentifiable emotions -- I'm glad these words were able to bring some of those out. walt, My favorite part of the poem is the end, because it makes fun of the "artsy fartsy" beginning and middle part. A guy is basically becoming more and more angry (and a little pompous) in front of this girl, and she cuts him down with one word at the end. Love it! Mike [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (edited 06-21-2000).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
ah...but you do know I love this...I want to be president of your fan club! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Only if we get married, S'en. Just kidding. Can I be president of yours and Butterfly Slippers, seeing as you're twins?Mike |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
{rising from my seat to applaud} Excellent!!!! you are a dynamic poet and i'm absolutely enraptured by your work you write the cutting edge, my friend...!! the curtain is open to the voting booth... this hits hard!!... the lever is pushed |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Doreen, Thank you for your kind reply and the smile you just gave me. It fits perfectly. Mike |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Arrgh! Yet another double message. Passions Stupid timed edit. Anyway, Doreen, looking back at my reply, I didn't really say how much I appreciate your comments, especially coming from a poet who obviously knows what she's talking about. That doesn't mean the other poets here don't know what they're talking about -- far from it. It does, mean, that I hold you in special respect, and I again thank you. Now wouldn't this have been a lot nicer in one message instead of two? Mike |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wow! Powerful and raw...and a vote! |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Mike, this really is strong, and very good too. Thanks, Pete |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
ok I find another one I thought I voted for, yet my vote is not here...must be getting old this deserves applause....love your writing |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks for reading, guys (gals). I always appreciate it. Not to mention I get to make a whole cool bunch of poet-friends. Mike |
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
Excellent and so perfect very strong... I liked it a lot... If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves from which evolves the light... Avanti Rao |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Avanti, thanks for the support. Much appreciated. Now do a search for my other three poems in here -- i am goodbye, i saw her in the rain and wow ... even I can't remember what the other one was called anymore ... uh-oh. Mike [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (edited 06-28-2000).] |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Vote! Vote I said. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Insect, Thanks, you pest! Much appreciated. Now where's my fly swatter?Mike, who wonders how flies keep getting into his apt.! |
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