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A Summer Evening Death
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A Summer Evening Death |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
The last words came out Shhh. Quiet now Shhh. Quiet please As she spoke in whispers low I'm sure she felt the warm air blow Through the window, across her face A beckoning of God's sweet grace The forest green eyes that used to burn so deep Are now clouded over As if time to sleep. White snow cheeks reflected so The late summer's evening glow A shaky hand reached out as if to say Return to me when old and gray I lifted a finger and slowly removed The bright shiny ring Her wedding band Almost permanently attached to her wrinkled hand. Finaly I spoke Not caring what I said Because after all She'd soon be dead. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kristen Joy Jacobus - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
From the intriguing title, through the end of the poem, this was excellent!  |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I have to agree with PdV -- love the title. Man, this subsection of Passions is amazing. This is the first time I've ever just gone down a list of poems, one by one, and enjoyed every one. We should have "best of"s more often.  Enjoyed your poem.Mike |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Great imagery Joy, I've got a picture of her in my mind as I write. Very nicely done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Joy~ Wow! This is just "WOW"! -SEA |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
This is excellent. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
I have to agree with everyone else, this is a beautiful poem. I had to read it several times to appreciate all the emotional layers presented. Pete |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Well writ, indeed! Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. JP "Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Thank you Poet deVine, bsquirrel, Kit, SEA, Lost Dreamer, Not A Poet, and JP. This I feel is one of my best works. I appreciate your replies. I may be a possible poet afterall, eh? Smiles to you all!Joy Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old time is still a-flying, And this same flower that smiles today To-morrow will be dying. -Robert Herrick |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Great one JOY ! |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
I remember so well the day my Gramms died. *sniff*...guess who has HER ring? Yup....me....it's beautiful too...but she gave it to me, the week or so before she passed away. This was a great poem, thanks for letting us enjoy it. ~Heather |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Joy, so beautiful yet quiet sad. wow The forest green eyes that used to burn so deep Are now clouded over As if time to sleep. White snow cheeks reflected so The late summer's evening glow A shaky hand reached out as if to say Return to me when old and gray an amazing image. really enjoyed this poem "but for the lovers, their arms Round the griefs of the ages, Who pay no praise or wages Nor heed my craft or art" Dylan Thomas. |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
bumping this to the top what a great piece of work!dg "Half of what i say is meaningless; but i say it so that the other half may reach you." -Kahlil Gibran |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Thanks dg! Joy |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
Intriguing, read beautifully from beginning to end. Bonnie |
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
how did i miss this one? I've been reading reuglarly... I'm gald it's beter later then never... very well written you write in dark passions too right? This is great work! If I should fall again, then they will laugh but what if just this one I rise? Avanti Rao |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
That's quite the title and then you follow it up with such a great work in verse....click |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Wonderful Wonderful....and full of amazing images... regards, sudhir |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
AWESOME writing Joy... very cool and well written work imagery was perfect jm |
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