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A home without a wall, |
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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Voices on the Web |
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Imprisoned By Guilt |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! 
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Imprisoned By Guilt I can't seem to find the words to say just how I feel The pain is ever growing since they put you on that hill I stop by to say I miss you almost every day I pray that God above will soon take this hurt away I can still see you lying there among that crumpled heap I wish that I could close my eyes and this memory delete It haunts me every waking hour and in every wink of sleep Ever losing grip on sanity no longer mine to keep I would give most anything if I could rewrite history Cause in my heart I know that you should be here instead of me In my cell, my private Hell locked inside my head If I hadn't had too much to drink then you would not be dead All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeffrey D. Carter - All Rights Reserved | |||
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
this was an AWFUL good poem, if yanno what I mean? So sad! Good job! ~H |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
*I Vote Yes* Jeffery, this one is one of your best ones... so many sentiments attached to this one... Take Care, Regards, sudhir |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Another "yes" from me to you Jeffrey. chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
JC, Ouch! This poem catches you in its flow, and then strikes you over the head for the conclusion. Jarring, needed words. I remember when one of my friends met his match with a tree after drinking too much. You could barely tell it was a car, in the paper. Mike |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Jeffrey this poem is really well written such a subject to write on --I will be looking forward to seeing your poem in the book --) ~netswan |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
grim...i like |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
I was so moved when I read this in Open Jeffrey ... this just stays in my mind, so poignant and beautifully written! Best wishes, /Kit |
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pyro Junior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 12 |
hi i am really new here...i joined about 2 minutes ago...i thought what the hang lets see these poems and get it done with but what a pleasant surprise!!!i really liked it you have a member for life thanks to this poem i hope the rest are as good as this WELL DONE |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Yes, like everyone else has said, very powerful. The ending was especially strong. Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Oh so SAD, but a very well written piece!! I hope this makes a preventative statement to others!! I like this a lot!!!  Bridgette "Creation of woman from the rib of Man: She was not made from his head to top him; nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him; but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved." -Unknown |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Powere evident, though not this way, I understand. Guilt can be a driving force... Ouch. Hard. Strong. And yes, sad. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Oh my, almost caught my breath at the lsat two lines....such a powerfully moving ending funny but i have written one about drunken drivers before...its posted as "Words from a Friend" in Critical analysis....perhaps you can critique the poem for me when you are free heres my vote:YES! |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
This is beautifully written and brought a tear to my eyes. |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
WOW!!! Thanks you guys Your replies really mean a lot All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Great Poem revealing a lesson Thanks Rich |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Thanks Rich, Glad you saw the lesson that there is in this piece. Makes it all worth while All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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Colin Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596Callington, Cornwall, England |
Powerful! Eric. "We are the music makers and we are the makers of dreams." - Willy Wonka. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Jeffrey, One of your best for sure. Not an easy one for you to write I know, but I love it. LW Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. --Michael W. Smith |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I could have swore I voted for this days ago ok im here now  later-wise-poet gator jm |
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linda munday Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315Adelaide, Australia |
Jeffrey, That was so good... I loved the last bit. You have penned the subject very well. I dont see anything that needs improving in it. It's great, And I'm voting for it too. Linda M. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Definitely one of your best! Denise |
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epoet Member
since 2000-05-11
Posts 291grand rapid,MI, usa |
awesome poem. very well written on such a touchy subject. one of your best jeff. P. J. Kotrch carpe diem A soul once touched is a soul once blessed by love |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
A Powerful poem 1 powerful vote from me Liz |
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jennie may* Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 122 |
hmm-- this is mysterious. For some strange reason it reminds me of "Annabel Lee" by Poe. It leaves the reader with a profound image, yet there is so much unsaid, and it is perhaps richer because of that. Good poem. |
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jennie may* Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 122 |
hmm-- this is mysterious. For some strange reason it reminds me of "Annabel Lee" by Poe. It leaves the reader with a profound image, yet there is so much unsaid, and it is perhaps richer because of that. Good poem. |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Eric, Thank you LW, Thank you, not easy to write emotions we have never experienced personally Janet, As long as you made it, better late than never LOLLinda, Thank you for the wonderful compliment and for the vote Denise, Thank you muchly epoet, Thanks for the awesome, and I love your signature...Carpe Dium = Ceize the day Liz, Thank you for the vote, truly a compliment coming from you Jennie May*, Wow!!! To be compared to one of the greatest poets that ever lived is truly humbling....You don't know how good that makes me feel  All my love, Jeffrey |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I remember this piece from open, and it touched me as deeply then as it does now. You have my vote! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde "The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Jeffrey, This poem is excellent - so full of grief and longing - I am sorry if this is not a fictitious masterpiece for you. |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Love bug, Thank you for the vote and I'm glad to see you felt the message of this poem Moonshine, Thank you and I'm happy to say this IS fiction All my love, Jeffrey |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Jeffrey, this is so powerfull, it should be on a commercial for drunk driving. The last line hits you like a brick. Bravo Parker |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
I agree with Parker, Jeffrey...this took my breath away, dear. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Jeffrey, I remember this one and it should be in the book, and you are a wonderful and strong person for posting this. I think the world needs to really know in every way what this kind of thing can do. Love, Cerenity |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Thanks again everyone, I appreciate your comments |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Jeffery, what a touching, outstanding piece of work. The reality of the content is so impressed on the mind because of the poetic style of presentation. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Very powerful and heart wrenching Excellent poem Liz |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Thanks ethome and Liz |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Another great one but sad! Voted |
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jamesjiao Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 268Backwaters of Avalon |
Oh mine mine mine.. we all have a private cell in our head.. a place where our love should dwell.. and a place that's only known to ourselves.. great poems.. vote tick tick - James The beauty of nature is displayed, not through itself, but through the creatures dwelling within its bosom. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Oh how glad I am that I decided to take a walk thru your work tonight...this is outstanding, so strong and overwhelming in its pain. As always my vote is yours my friend.< !signature--> never say never [This message has been edited by Paula Finn (edited 08-02-2000).] |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
*taking a deep breath* ....WOW..this one took my breath away..quite literally... again...WOW.. well written..the pain you conveyed completely..i can relate to such pain of losing someone..but only you can reach the depths of your own ache... dg "Half of what i say is meaningless; but i say it so that the other half may reach you." -Kahlil Gibran |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
insect....thanks james.... thanks i agree we all have that private cell in our heads Paula.... thank you m'friend dg..... thank you very much.....this isn't from personal experience....so i guess i did it right huh? The best and most beaytiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched...but are felt in the heart (Helen Keller) |
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