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Into The Night She Cries
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Into The Night She Cries |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration 
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 While camped upon A sunset beach Jaded orbs searching the sky, A lonely woman Upward reached For the heavens to reply... To questions hurled At the night So forbidding, black and bold. A bleeding heart Streamed red in blight With her queries ringing cold. ‘Release this heart of suffering,’ These carmine sighs Her painful words. ‘I’ve no more lily songs to sing.’ Still, No echoes back were heard. Her glance fell to the barren sand While her hope transformed to ache. A single tear dripped, Crystal-grand, As she dived in ocean’s wake. Her breath stained cobalt, Swallowed whole Her mind lit crimson, burning. Cerulean she arched her soul Into a surfaced turning. And as she knifed The mirrored skin, Reflected darkness Shimmered, Into an alabaster grin From a star-son rendered dimmer. It crashed headlong Into the sea In roiling iridescence. Cascades of nighttime Falling free Washed about In phosphorescence. And floating there In seafoamed arms A man Cloaked pearl and star dust. With azured eyes, Unspoken charms And a smile colored in trust. ‘How could you leave,’ She asked this man. ‘From the skies' warm touch to part?’ ‘You have something ‘She never can,’ He spoke. ‘See, love you have my heart.’ [This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 06-23-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
This is reposted from the English Workshop. Any and all suggestions are welcome! PLease, belt me hard!  |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Ah...lovely..perfection...no belting allowed on this one!  |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Her breath stained cobalt, Swallowed whole Her mind lit crimson, burning. Cerulean she arched her soul Into a surfaced turning. What a vision, amazing. Wow, Chris -and- (for the sappy romantic in me)  ‘How could you leave,’ She asked this man. ‘From the skies' warm touch to part?’ ‘You have something ‘She never can,’ He spoke. ‘See love, you have my heart.’ OOOF Yeah, that just gets ya right *here*. This has skads of imagery in it, and just dances on the line of 'not enough' vs. 'too much'. I like to have 'blanks' for my imagination to fill in, instead of being hand held and forced to view something a certain way. That, of course, is my own personal opinion and taste. With this, the poem took my imagination up to that 'line' and let it go...where it wished. Lots, bunches N. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"I've no more lily songs to sing," This is amazing, Chris...just when I think I've read your best, there you go again. and by the way, I am particularly grateful that this was not a sestina...love to you, me friend...me smiling now. |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
let's start with my feet, a warm sensation there that tingled up through me to explode into the top of my head in an electrical shock of delight. (in Lay-Angel talk...I got goosebumps!!) this is what reading this did to me. It was gorgeous Chris!  ~Heather |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Hmmm..you know that ICQ message I sent you? Well I figured it out...lol. This is a moving piece my friend. You never fail to move me beyond words. *bowing to the master*  M. [This message has been edited by Marilyn (edited 06-22-2000).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
awesome amazing astonishing triple A... and im not even the teacher ... perfect chris... dont change a thing jm |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
I think it is hauntingly lovely, just the way it is, Chris. A striking title, as well. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Said it already....  K |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Christopher, my friend~ Almost too perfect for words. Such artistry with your words - simply exquisite. Much admiration here, dear poet. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Christopher J Member
since 2000-06-21
Posts 94 |
..excellent, i just wish i could hear lilies sing also, great imagery..i loved it. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
*BELT* There I belted ya hard! But it's not cause of your poem No, really Chris, this is some superb work buddy! |
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Kellsue Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 210Waukesha, WI USA |
Wonderful work...don't change a thing!! ~Kelly ~Kellsue Reflect upon your present blessings-of which every man has many-not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some. ~Charles Dickens We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. ~Winston Churchill |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
I'm going in search of this beach....stars turning into men...wow what a thought Awesome images, I was captivated by her torment and despair and the last lines were as beautiful as the stars they fell from. |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Chris, this is beautiful hon, tender, moving, heartfelt and a must for the book!! I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Chris, I do think one thing needs to be changed here! She needs to be ME! But seriously, I really enjoyed this a lot. As always, your pieces never fail me. This is what I call "Grand, impressive beauty" So take that for a "belt" Nice to see you here again! ~Sheri |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Changes? Let's see...where do I start? Hmmm....Can I put my name as the author No, seriously Christopher, This one is perfect, Just perfect All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Very moving Christopher. Beautiful writing! My grief lies onward and my joy behind (Shakespeare) |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
"Is the heart worth the empty hand??" This was an beautifully provoking poem dear Chris...but painful all the same...Shall I dare tiptoe in perfection?? Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I can see why you're smiling in the picture. I would be too after writing a poem that so confirmed my gifts and blew away most poems in the forum. Wow -- all I can say. Mike |
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
I am moved... This was a beautiful poem and you picked your words well. great work... If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves from which evolves the light... Avanti Rao |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Perfect,as is It will be published Liz |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Wow again! Thank you everyone for the uplifting comments! The above is one of the reasons I love this home so much. Always (unless I'm off on one of my tirades) a place of warm welcomes and hearty applause! How can anyone not glow with praise such as this? Chris |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Very nice Chris. I really enjoyed. Thanks. Pete |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
(tears flowing) This was beautiful!!!! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This is supurb writing...you got a vote from me! |
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Colin Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596Callington, Cornwall, England |
I think, Chris, that the best thing you can change is nothing Eric. "We are the music makers and we are the makers of dreams." - Willy Wonka. |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Chris, Well this is a beauty, very, very much enjoyed. Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. We have to be reminded that He exist!" (Writer Unknown) |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Chris, change something... nothing ... Hey this one is exquisite... very well done... By the way, are you glowing now? Well, keep glowing for it is raining bad over here... hope your glow reaches here from through the clouds... regards, sudhir |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
WOW! I'm absolutely stunned at the exquisite imagery in this verse Christopher! Perfection dear poet! Best wishes, /Kit |
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MagnoliaBlue Member
since 2000-05-12
Posts 367 |
*tears and smiles* I am just going to take the liberty of pretending that this was written for The Skipper and The Lady. I do love it very much. You write beautifully,Chris! MagnoliaBlue ~My Skipper Jim I love you! Your Lady June~ |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Oh Chris, this is magnificant. I could no better "belt" this than I could.... offend Volkswagen!!!! I REALLY hope this makes it in the book.. I'm sure it will. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde "The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
OK, last one (of mine) that I'll bring to the top today! Thank you all for being so supportive! Chris |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
whew! that last bit really got me..shivers! great poem! dg "Half of what i say is meaningless; but i say it so that the other half may reach you." -Kahlil Gibran |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
I'm gonna belt ya! Belt ya with a vote |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Can't belt you at all I'm still blinded by the florescence of it all.......excellent.. click.. |
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