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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

0 posted 2000-06-22 05:48 PM


         



Into the Night She Cries



While camped upon
A sunset beach
Jaded orbs searching the sky,
A lonely woman
Upward reached
For the heavens to reply...

To questions hurled
At the night
So forbidding, black and bold.
A bleeding heart
Streamed red in blight
With her queries ringing cold.

‘Release this heart of suffering,’
These carmine sighs
Her painful words.
‘I’ve no more lily songs to sing.’
Still,
No echoes back were heard.

Her glance fell to the barren sand
While her hope transformed to ache.
A single tear dripped,
Crystal-grand,
As she dived in ocean’s wake.

Her breath stained cobalt,
Swallowed whole
Her mind lit crimson, burning.
Cerulean she arched her soul
Into a surfaced turning.

And as she knifed
The mirrored skin,
Reflected darkness
Shimmered,
Into an alabaster grin
From a star-son
rendered dimmer.

It crashed headlong
Into the sea
In roiling iridescence.
Cascades of nighttime
Falling free
Washed about
In phosphorescence.

And floating there
In seafoamed arms
A man
Cloaked pearl and star dust.
With azured eyes,
Unspoken charms
And a smile colored in trust.

‘How could you leave,’
She asked this man.
‘From the skies' warm touch to part?’
‘You have something
‘She never can,’

He spoke.
‘See, love you have my heart.’









[This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 06-23-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
1 posted 2000-06-22 05:49 PM


This is reposted from the English Workshop. Any and all suggestions are welcome! PLease, belt me hard!  
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2000-06-22 05:56 PM


Ah...lovely..perfection...no belting allowed on this one!  
Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
3 posted 2000-06-22 06:14 PM


Her breath stained cobalt,
Swallowed whole
Her mind lit crimson, burning.
Cerulean she arched her soul
Into a surfaced turning.


What a vision, amazing.
Wow, Chris

-and-  (for the sappy romantic in me)  

‘How could you leave,’
She asked this man.
‘From the skies' warm touch to part?’
‘You have something
‘She never can,’
He spoke.
‘See love, you have my heart.’


OOOF  Yeah, that just gets ya right *here*.

This has skads of imagery in it, and just dances on the line of 'not enough' vs. 'too much'. I like to have 'blanks' for my imagination to fill in, instead of being hand held and forced to view something a certain way.  That, of course, is my own personal opinion and taste.

With this, the poem took my imagination up to that 'line' and let it go...where it wished.

Lots, bunches

N.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2000-06-22 06:22 PM


"I've no more lily songs to sing,"

This is amazing, Chris...just when I think I've  read your best, there you go again.
and by the way, I am particularly grateful that this was not a sestina...love to you, me friend...me smiling now.

X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
Oregon
5 posted 2000-06-22 06:31 PM


let's start with my feet, a warm sensation there that tingled up through me to explode into the top of my head in an electrical shock of delight. (in Lay-Angel talk...I got goosebumps!!)

this is what reading this did to me. It was gorgeous Chris!

~Heather

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
6 posted 2000-06-22 07:29 PM


Hmmm..you know that ICQ message I sent you? Well I figured it out...lol.

This is a moving piece my friend. You never fail to move me beyond words. *bowing to the master*    

M.


[This message has been edited by Marilyn (edited 06-22-2000).]

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2000-06-22 07:41 PM


awesome amazing astonishing
triple A...
and im not even the teacher ...
perfect chris...
dont change a thing
jm

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

8 posted 2000-06-22 07:55 PM


I think it is hauntingly lovely, just the way it is, Chris. A striking title, as well.

~ Claire



Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

9 posted 2000-06-22 07:55 PM


Said it already....


K

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2000-06-22 08:17 PM


Christopher, my friend~
Almost too perfect for words.
Such artistry with your words -
simply exquisite.
Much admiration here, dear poet.
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Christopher J
Member
since 2000-06-21
Posts 94

11 posted 2000-06-22 08:49 PM


..excellent, i just wish i could hear lilies sing also, great imagery..i loved it.
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
12 posted 2000-06-22 09:10 PM


*BELT* There I belted ya hard! But it's not cause of your poem    No, really Chris, this is some superb work buddy!
Kellsue
Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 210
Waukesha, WI USA
13 posted 2000-06-22 09:21 PM


Wonderful work...don't change a thing!!

~Kelly

~Kellsue

Reflect upon your present blessings-of which every man has many-not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some. ~Charles Dickens

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. ~Winston Churchill


Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
14 posted 2000-06-22 11:34 PM


I'm going in search of this beach....stars
turning into men...wow what a thought  

Awesome images, I was captivated by her torment and despair and the last lines were
as beautiful as the stars they fell from.
  

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
15 posted 2000-06-23 12:00 PM


Chris, this is beautiful hon, tender, moving, heartfelt and a must for the book!!  

I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.....
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)


Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
16 posted 2000-06-23 12:48 PM


Chris, I do think one thing needs to be changed here!
She needs to be ME!  
But seriously, I really enjoyed this a lot.
As always, your pieces never fail me.
This is what I call "Grand, impressive beauty"
So take that for a "belt"  
Nice to see you here again!


~Sheri

Jeffrey Carter
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!
17 posted 2000-06-23 01:39 AM


Changes? Let's see...where do I start?

Hmmm....Can I put my name as the author  

No, seriously Christopher, This one is perfect, Just perfect

All my love,
Jeffrey

I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep



Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

18 posted 2000-06-23 01:40 AM


Very moving Christopher. Beautiful writing!

My grief lies onward and my joy behind
(Shakespeare)

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
19 posted 2000-06-24 01:31 AM


"Is the heart worth the empty hand??"

This was an beautifully provoking poem dear Chris...but painful all the same...Shall I dare tiptoe in perfection??  


Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...


bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

20 posted 2000-06-24 01:40 AM


I can see why you're smiling in the picture. I would be too after writing a poem that so confirmed my gifts and blew away most poems in the forum. Wow -- all I can say.

Mike

AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
21 posted 2000-06-24 07:17 AM


I am moved...
This was a beautiful poem and you picked your words well.
great work...

If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
22 posted 2000-06-24 10:07 AM


Perfect,as is
It will be published
Liz

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
23 posted 2000-06-26 08:40 AM


Wow again!

Thank you everyone for the uplifting comments! The above is one of the reasons I love this home so much. Always (unless I'm off on one of my tirades) a place of warm welcomes and hearty applause! How can anyone not glow with praise such as this?

Chris

Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
24 posted 2000-06-26 01:48 PM


Very nice Chris. I really enjoyed. Thanks.

Pete

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
25 posted 2000-06-30 03:12 AM


(tears flowing) This was beautiful!!!!
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
26 posted 2000-06-30 10:36 AM


This is supurb writing...you got a vote from me!
Colin
Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596
Callington, Cornwall, England
27 posted 2000-07-01 04:17 PM


I think, Chris, that the best thing you can change is nothing  

Eric.

"We are the music makers and we are the makers of dreams." - Willy Wonka.

Cerenity
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
Escondido-California
28 posted 2000-07-13 04:34 PM


Hi Chris,

Well this is a beauty, very, very much enjoyed.

Cerenity


"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
29 posted 2000-07-14 10:32 AM


Chris,
change something... nothing ...

Hey this one is exquisite... very well done...

By the way, are you glowing now? Well, keep glowing for it is raining bad over here... hope your glow reaches here from through the clouds...  

regards,
sudhir

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
30 posted 2000-07-14 08:28 PM


WOW!  I'm absolutely stunned at the exquisite imagery in this verse Christopher!  Perfection dear poet!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

MagnoliaBlue
Member
since 2000-05-12
Posts 367

31 posted 2000-07-14 08:45 PM


*tears and smiles*
I am just going to take the liberty of pretending that this was written for The Skipper and The Lady.
I do love it very much.
You write beautifully,Chris!  

MagnoliaBlue


~My Skipper Jim
I love you!
Your Lady June~


LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

32 posted 2000-07-14 11:15 PM


Oh Chris, this is magnificant. I could no better "belt" this than I could.... offend Volkswagen!!!!  

I REALLY hope this makes it in the book.. I'm sure it will.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
33 posted 2000-08-03 11:19 AM


OK, last one (of mine) that I'll bring to the top today! Thank you all for being so supportive!

Chris

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
34 posted 2000-08-07 02:59 PM


whew!  that last bit really got me..shivers!  great poem!

dg

"Half of what i say is meaningless; but i say it so that the other half may reach you."
-Kahlil Gibran


insect
Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014

35 posted 2000-08-07 10:26 PM


I'm gonna belt ya!
Belt ya with a vote

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
36 posted 2000-08-08 05:08 AM


Can't belt you at all I'm still blinded by the florescence of it all.......excellent..
click..

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