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Open Poetry #9
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T McCoy
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 186


0 posted 2000-07-31 11:53 PM





when you left here
i surrendered
my mind to a
place in time
it must've froze man
i can't remember
the last time you
weren't on my mind

but my memory
is decomposing
either that or i'm
goin' blind
i see your face right
here before me
i try to focus
on your eyes

...but the image fogs you blur and fade away...


              - chorus -


       can't get you off of my mind
       i swear i'm frozen in time
       somethings wrong with my mind
       my memory must've been re-aligned
       cause every thought i have
       leads back to you      
       reality re-defined and
       jammed on automatic rewind
       it keeps you here by my side
       addicted to that place in time
       and all my thoughts inject a random
       fix of you
      
       can't get you off of my mind
       i play you back and rewind
       to keep you here by my side
       so i can gaze into your eyes
  
...until the image fogs and blurs and fades away...
      
                          

      
          
< !signature-->

- time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go so make the best of this test and don't ask why it's not a question but a lesson learned in time



[This message has been edited by T McCoy (edited 08-01-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 a m mccoy - All Rights Reserved
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
1 posted 2000-08-01 12:05 PM


You ALWAYS make music in my mind

never say never

T McCoy
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 186

2 posted 2000-08-01 04:15 AM


...ALWAYS huh?....you keep telling me things like that and there won't be enough room here for my ego..!   THANKS!  
                  Tony

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
3 posted 2000-08-01 09:13 PM


I want to hear this one put to music ...
nicely done


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2000-08-01 09:16 PM


Perfect words to be placed to music Tony! Nicely penned!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

T McCoy
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 186

5 posted 2000-08-02 03:02 PM


       a big thanks to you both!

            

- time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go so make the best of this test and don't ask why it's not a question but a lesson learned in time

poutprincess
Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735
Perth, Western Australia, Australia
6 posted 2000-08-02 03:18 PM


i agree with them above! this IS great....very easy to fall into!
JulieAnn
Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754
Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!!
7 posted 2000-08-02 03:23 PM


Wow Tony.....You have such talent for wiritng songs...maybe we could get chat and write one together....By the way nice to finally put a face with the name.....

Julie :)



Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
8 posted 2000-08-02 03:44 PM


This would climb the charts in my book!  Great writing Tony~
T McCoy
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 186

9 posted 2000-08-02 09:24 PM


- sincere thanks to everyone -

if you could all just have eveyone you know send me dollar...LOL  

Julie...yea that might be pretty cool!
It would be a pretty interesting song i think...

Tony

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

10 posted 2000-08-02 11:38 PM


Tony this is excellent..such depth of emotion...
very well written...
this is the first work of yours Ive read
I believe..sorry, so many new poets of late
its getting hard to keep up.
but i will look for your work in the future.
very cool song..perfect title..
a belated welcome to passions from me
take care
jm

There are places inside our souls -
that have never been touched.
There are places inside our hearts -
that need to be loved this much.
~jm~


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

11 posted 2000-08-03 12:16 PM


Is there more of this?  Do you play?  you might not know this but JM and I are back up singers (YES WE ARE--jm--hush!!)
and I have some experience as a booking agent--what instrument do you play?

We are ready to rock with this one.

Beth
Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468
WA, Australia
12 posted 2000-08-03 12:21 PM


~This was absolutely thrilling. I loved it!!~
T McCoy
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 186

13 posted 2000-08-03 03:34 AM


jm...thanks for the kind words and the welcome...
serenity...hmmm...i can hold the rhythm on bass...drums are pure FUN...but i pretend to sing!
yea, this is all of it; first verse just gets repeated...i think the repitition adds to the whole "rewind" thing.  you?
  sincere thanks serenity, as always...

beth...thank you...i haven't seen your name out there yet, but i'll be on the lookout...

Tony          

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

14 posted 2000-08-03 03:49 AM


LOL at sen' saying I can sing..
serenity can sing Tony...
I hear shes a legend down on the French Quarter  
my little Mardi Gras songbird.
if i sing YOU ALL are gonna need backup LOL
but I have always wanted to be a groupie..
perhaps I can be the official guitar pic person LOL
( i gotta watch me twin sen' every minute)
shes always volunteering me for something  
later-poet-gators
im going to bed
jm

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
15 posted 2000-08-03 04:10 AM


I like that - image fogs - part at the end.
These are great lyrics...ballad I think ......good hook good title...feels to me like minor key or major seventh.....maybe minor and major mix-up in the chorus.

T McCoy
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 186

16 posted 2000-08-03 04:29 AM


jm...geez girl, we're already booked at the viper room...blame serenity  LOL  

ethome...i tell ya brother i do good to find any words...what you said...hmmmmm.....can ya send me the tab for that?

thanks to you both!

Tony

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
17 posted 2000-08-03 05:49 AM


Tony~
Wonderful job with this...very enjoyable indeed  
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe


T McCoy
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 186

18 posted 2000-08-04 03:27 AM


thanks for the kind reply Tracie...
glad you enjoyed it...

Tony

Jenn E
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589
Kelowna, BC, Canada
19 posted 2000-08-04 11:20 PM


You have got my attention. OK, now I am singing and let me tell ya, singing is not my strong point...lol Enjoyed this..Thank you.

Jenn E

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
20 posted 2000-08-14 03:40 PM


Oh geeze...Those two singing? ROFLMAO  Take it from me sir....uh....are they listening?  hehehe  (ducking down behind monitor)  **shaking head furiously!**     Although Janet does write some good country lyrics - I'm not sure you look like country though!  This was really good, I'm still trying to put my finger on the style this reminds me of.  GO LEAFS!  

"Fantasies enrich our lives to the fullest, but true satisfaction comes from creating your own story in the real world! Live out your fantasies & mak

SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

21 posted 2000-08-14 03:50 PM


~Hey there,...the title definately kix here. This poem/song is flowing with realism,...just so able to see it all. T...this part here..."all my thoughts inject a random fix of you",....that is so right on! So what happens. Ouch! Awesome work. Take care. *Peace.
Angel4aKing
Senior Member
since 2006-09-27
Posts 1372
USA
22 posted 2008-02-08 12:38 PM


Where you been I miss your poetry.....o BTW my old screen name is JulieAnn this is my new one....

~~~kingsangel~~~

effjayel
Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474
At the Crossroads of Infinity
23 posted 2008-02-08 01:36 PM


Good writing, enjoyed reading it..
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