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Open Poetry #9
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Christopher
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Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

0 posted 2000-08-10 08:02 PM


As the Seasons Slowly Turn, I suppose
© 2000 Christopher Ward


Springtime’s been hitched to the stars
and so these wagons roll silently away
Thus ends this big adventure I suppose
Five thousand hours & a million smiles
ride fast away from what we used to be
into the setting dawn of can’t go back
Fade now the darkness into lonely hues
this Summer is screaming in desolation
Fiery plumes from foggy gray teardrops
casting shadows of moonlit smatterings
So, another dreary nighttime I suppose
Closing off my mind Fall stumbles near
Trapping cascades and brilliant echoes
of canned laughters and preserved joys
It chases in rainbow falls of peaceful
and it leaves me, breathlessly wistful
I must wish outside for hope I suppose
I unearth the ornaments of our passing
to place them highly in my re-memories
and peruse the pain over years gone by
A house grown barren over molding loss
scented with pine and laminated images
Winter now nothing save an endless eve
I can live without your love I suppose



© Copyright 2000 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2000-08-10 08:11 PM


"I must wish outside for hope..."

and to answer the question, no, you can't...[live without {us}]!

Wonderful, Chris!

Poet deVine
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2000-08-10 08:26 PM


As I slowly read this poem, I suppose I could say it's ok..but then I think of the time you took over each word...each phrase.. and the format. You care about your craft and it shows. So I suppose I will admit I love this..and it's very, very good!  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2000-08-10 08:27 PM


A coming to terms here--and beautifully done, of course--read like a lengthy sigh...hugs to you m'lord...and admiration for this streamy dreamy piece.
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

4 posted 2000-08-10 08:32 PM


"Fade now the darkness into lonely hues"

"I unearth the ornaments of our passing"

Exquisite lines, though with images so rich, it was difficult to select anything "favorite" here, Chris. I enjoyed your many allusions to light and colour, and the elemental nature of your adjoining earth, sky and emotion.

The full justification made for nice presentation, too.  

~ Claire


Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


Jenn E
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589
Kelowna, BC, Canada
5 posted 2000-08-10 10:12 PM


This was so beautifully put together, Your use of words were perfect here. Very descriptive and well thought out I am sure. This you should be proud of, along with all the rest! Enjoyed this very much!  
Jenn E

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
6 posted 2000-08-10 10:20 PM


A house grown barren over molding loss
my favorite gem in a poem full of jewels




Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".



WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
7 posted 2000-08-10 10:46 PM


I wanna post this one on my site. Can I? Can I?  PULEASE?

I love it! SUPERB work Chris!!!

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
8 posted 2000-08-11 05:04 AM


I have never seen a more interesting block of words.... never at all... inspires me a lot... to try this one... (he he   me and poetry... I must be joking again...)

Chris...

My regards,
sudhir

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
9 posted 2000-08-11 12:56 PM


Sunshin-y one - Are you quite sure about that? Remember, there's that psychological problem we discussed...

Sharon - Remember, you're supposed to be mean to me! Why? I don't know, but I'll not be able to get out the door now m'friend!

Se'n - A thank you m'lady. I bow to kiss thy hand.  

Claire - Did I ever mention that I like how you read my poems?  

Jenn E - Wow. I'm humbled (Ok, I'm not, but it sounds nice to say that) by your kind reply! You give much to this that was not there before by laying your eyes and mind to it. I thank you for that.

Jamie - Wow, a whole poem full of jewels! What say we go sell them and take a trip to Vegas??? Thank you for the understanding.  

Becca - LOL. Yes, of course you can. And I'll only charge you $0.10 a word. JUST KIDDING! Yes you may use it on your site! (just be sure to keep the formatting! If you have probs, let me know, I'll tell ya how I did it!  )

Sudhir - Needs not be a joke m'friend! I look forward to you doing this! (But pay attention... even the title is justified with the rest! ) Thank you sir!

Chris

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
10 posted 2000-08-11 01:41 PM


Chris,
The joke has become a reality, my friend and thanks for the tip...  

I am posting it in the open forum 9. Check it out and tell me if it is any good.

Title: I wish upon a meteorite to get you back!

regards,
sudhir.


Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
11 posted 2000-08-11 03:56 PM


All I can say is "resistance if futile" you will be assimilated. Christopher you’ve been watching too many reruns of the Borg…lol

But to be sincere this was amazing, as soon as I opened it I was assimilated. I’m with Claire whatever she means.  
I don’t really see a coming to terms here, to me more like An unsaid next thought would be… “But, I would prefer not to.”
  
You are quite an innovator, can you do a perfect circle…lol.

Parker


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
12 posted 2000-08-12 09:00 AM


Okay...I don't suppose you'll tell me how you did this one  
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
13 posted 2000-08-12 10:38 AM


Thanks Chris! I'll let ya know when I'm ready  
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
14 posted 2000-08-12 11:44 AM


I suppose that I have to say that I think you've done quite a good job on this one - I like your creatively square mind, my friend...
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
15 posted 2000-08-12 01:55 PM


Christopher oh master of the form
Such a delight to read the render
and find the formatting delicious
Soon to be printed out on display




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
16 posted 2000-08-12 04:39 PM


Most excellent work.  You continue to grow as a poet, as life infuses experience into talented hands.

Corinne

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

17 posted 2000-08-12 10:33 PM


very nicely crafted, Chris, very nice.


Kathleen



Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
18 posted 2000-08-12 10:49 PM


For a poet to find a format that matches his personality is a rare thing indeed!  

Truthfully, I really admire the thought and effort you put into your work. It shows that you are a craftsman of the trade..a quality I admire....and I understood this one!!!

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
19 posted 2000-08-13 04:24 AM


A screaming summer and a stumbling fall
And re-remembering it all
And teardrops of a foggy gray
Make your poetry a realm away
Superb
Liz

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
20 posted 2000-08-13 09:22 AM


All I can add to your rave reviews is "wow"...very fitting style for you sir.  This one sure got the ooohs and aaaahs.  
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
21 posted 2000-08-13 04:06 PM


Sudhir - I saw it and thought you did a fantabulous job!

Haleyja - Hate to disappoint ya, but I'm not a Trekkie! LOL In reality, the truth of my thoughts lie somewhere between your VP and serenity's. There were thoughts of closure and final acceptance, but also a bite of: "I don't care anymore," or as you said "I wouldn't want to..." But I am also a firm believer in the idea that the reader creates their own interpretation, so yours is 100% valid! Thank you for the thoughts! As to the perfect circle... isn't that a new band...

Ruth - Umm... I just wrote it? LOL... THe justification was due to character count matching exactly on each line. I used the "Courier new" font, since it is a fixed width font. That's it! Now where's yours?

Becca - GREAT!

Nan - Why thankee ma'am! I 'preciate your 'preciation!  

Marge - Ever a smile you provide. Thank you lady, for another one!  

Corinne - Thank you lady. Interesting wording, but tre altogether! How can we fail but to grow? We have the choice to go ahead, or to stagnate. I'm too partial about personal hygeine to allow the latter to occur!  

Kathleen - Thank you for your reply!

Bal - Hmm... Thank you... I think!   Seriously... thank you. That means much to me that you appreciate the appreciation I have. It never fails to show, I believe, when someone really cares about what they are doing. It shows in their work, always! And...ermm... I'm glad you could "understand it"...? LOL

Liz - And you lady. Ever warming the soul with smiles and beautiful words from a kind and caring, gentle heart. You've not failed this time either!  

Gen - Now there's a face I'd not expected to see again! Where ya been lady? Hmmm? Thank you muchly for making an appearance on this!


Chris

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
22 posted 2000-08-14 05:24 PM


"Fiery plumes from foggy gray teardrops
casting shadows of moonlit smatterings"

wow

You are a poet.  It doesn't get much better than this, Chris.

(BOL)
N

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

23 posted 2000-08-14 08:34 PM


I read this a couple of days ago - due to time constraints I didn't deign to reply - lol...

but here I is...

well.

This poem C is...hmmmm...finding words.
Complete. Tight. It has such an unusual quality...can't quite put my finger on it. of course there are a few little things I would change...lol...of course.

But, overall, it is a stunner. Most modern C, most modern...hehe...there's my seal of approval instantly.

It just all fits together so well...words can do that can't they?

K



"He looked across the
silky surface of the Severn,
and remembered that it
was a famously difficult
river with fierce tides..."


From J

Alwye
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Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
24 posted 2000-08-14 11:52 PM


"Trapping cascades and brilliant echoes
of canned laughters and preserved joys" That would be my favorite in a nearly perfect piece of work my friend.  Extremely well done, I loved it!  


*Krista Knutson*

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."
-Barbara DeAngelis

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
25 posted 2007-06-19 02:55 PM


It is great, reading this again...


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