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Open Poetry #9

Mary's confession

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2000-08-10 11:10 AM

“Late August. Curtains slowly rising...
The spacious room draws twilight in
Caressing gently, tranquilizing
Seductive breeze engulfs my skin.

I struggle with the heavy eyelids
I’m half-asleep, I dream of thee.
But I can’t rest, disturbing silence
Rings in my ears and pleads to me:

“Thou shall conceive a holy child
Believe in God, He’ll show the way.”
This voice I heard, so tender, mild
Convinced my conscience, I felt gay.

I fell asleep... and in contentment,
I dreamt of stars, of warmth, of light...
I felt no feeling of resentment
My face was shinning with delight.

Believe me, Joseph! True affection
Came over me,- God’s awesome will!”
He hung his head and in dejection,
With pity thought, “thou shall not kill.”

Check out my poetry here:

http://cafepoetry.com/stage1/andrey_kneller.htm#My%20Hamlet

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

1 posted 2000-08-10 11:58 AM

EXCELLENT!!!! Ah, I have missed reading your works and this poem reminds me why. Fantistic finish to an already great poem!!! You have outdone yourself

WOW, that's all I can say! Great subject, well told, great rhythm and rhyme all make for one great poem

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

2 posted 2000-08-10 01:53 PM

ohhh yeahhhh - great finish - you had me sort of ambling along, thinking I'd heard this story somewhere before, and then you hung that last verse out there to kinda slap me silly. Great job - the slant was perfect.

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

3 posted 2000-08-10 04:23 PM

I wrote this in reply to the poem in the teen forum:
Once again another great poem Master, it's an interesting perspective.

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

4 posted 2000-08-10 07:09 PM

Thanks guys, I'm glad you enjoyed this one!

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