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Open Poetry #9
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My Morning Routine
| Open Poetry #9 |
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My Morning Routine |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief 
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I did a little more editing to this since I first sent it through the line. So I thought I might send it back around. Let me know what you think. ____________________________________________________ I awoke this morning to find myself dead. It is strange how this happens to me so often. But the deadness never stays, it is always gone by the time I get out of bed. It’s too bad, I really enjoy it, death is very relaxing. So anyway off to work I go. I hate my job. How I ever get stuck in such a nowhere, dead end job is beyond me. It’s not even just my job, it’s everything. My whole life is going nowhere, and I'm just along for the ride. Sometimes after I wake up dead in the mornings, I think to myself that maybe I didn’t wake up dead, I woke up alive. Oh the glory of being alive! Then I die when I get out of my bed. Then this pathetic, going nowhere, job and/or existence of mine is really some kind of hell or at least purgatory. That thought seems feasible. So at night when I sleep I hope to escape this place of endless stability. I hope to do something different. As I slip into yet another night of restless sleep, I often dream of waking up dead. < !signature--> Just an effigy to be disgraced, to be defaced. Your need for me has been replaced. [This message has been edited by Effigy (edited 08-01-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 wes wiggins - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Wow Effigy this is superb writing...so many feelings are in this piece, upon the first line I thought it would be a poem of humor....how wrong I was...the story of life it seems. Great writing~ |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
A quirky piece, I enjoyed. Especially the line "Sometimes after I wake up dead in the mornings," ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
BDC. - Thanks I'm glad that you enjoyed it. It wasn't my intention but your right the first line starts as if it would be funny. Oh well, maybe life is a bit funny. M.Muse - Thanks. That too is one of my favorite lines |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
As I said at the top, just going to send this back around. |
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forne_marin Member
since 2004-04-13
Posts 140Spartanburg, South Carolina |
The joy in this one is the madness in it all. I think rough meter on this one is okay, but I am going to suggest a few technical and structural changes. I hope you don't mind the rewrite... I awoke this morning to find myself dead. It's strange how often this happens to me. But the deadness never stays, it's always gone by the time I get out of bed. It’s too bad, I really enjoy it, death is very relaxing. So anyway--off to work I go. I hate my job. How I ever get stuck in such a nowhere, dead end job is beyond me. And it’s not just my job, it’s everything. My whole life is going nowhere, and I feel like I'm just along for the ride. Sometimes after I wake up dead in the mornings, I think to myself, maybe I didn’t wake up dead, I woke up alive. Oh the glory of being alive! Actually, I think I die when I get out of bed And this pathetic, going nowhere, job and/or existence of mine is really some kind of hell-- or at least purgatory. That thought seems feasible. So at night when I sleep, I hope to escape this place of endless stability. I hope to do something different. As I slip into yet another night of restless sleep, I often dream of waking up dead. Little minor tweaks. I like it, though. Nice work. |
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