»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #9
»
If You Could Only See What I Feel
| Open Poetry #9 |
|
If You Could Only See What I Feel |
|
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
|
If You Could Only See What I Feel See the very thought of you entering quietly quietly like soft whispers and blue-belled flowers on a spring morning in that pink hued sunlit time just ere the cardinal sings see the very thought of you… then the illusion enlarges and I perceive the very phantom of you perforating softly softly like soft undertones of oceans waves meeting my feet on a summer morn in that salmon-colored sky's light time prior to the seagull's swoop perceiving the very phantom of you… then the chimera enlarges and I embrace the very feel of you intruding gently gently like old memories bringing smells of reminiscence on a fall morning in that dawn-tinted sun's rise time preceding the fish's bite… and emotions reign in your phantasmal embrace ©Karilea Rilling Jungel 9 August, 2000 |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Sunshine, this is amazing. . . your command of the words here is incredible. . . I especially like the last line. . . "and emotions reign in your phantasmal embrace" Simply superb. . . ------------------------------------------------------ That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
like soft whispers and blue-belled flowers on a spring morning in that pink hued sunlit time just ere the cardinal sings like soft undertones of oceans waves meeting my feet on a summer morn in that salmon-colored sky's light time prior to the seagull's swoop like old memories bringing smells of reminiscence on a fall morning in that dawn-tinted sun's rise time preceding the fish's bite… and emotions reign in your phantasmal embrace ~~~ I am slowly opening my third eye ~ blinded by the brightness of the shine of a divine ray from the sun ~ Many regards  sudhir |
||
|
Michael G Senior Member
since 2000-06-25
Posts 579Nashville |
I must agree, your word use is very commanding, such passion with them...... I like this so much....... |
||
|
Michael G Senior Member
since 2000-06-25
Posts 579Nashville |
I must agree, your word use is very commanding, such passion with them...... I like this so much....... |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Karilea~ Yeah ..... *sigh* 'quietly like soft whispers and blue-belled flowers on a spring morning' ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sven, Sudhir, Michael [x2] and Marge... thank you all for reading...this was a little bit of work, but you've told me I did indeed meet my destiny... thank you... |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Whew girl....I must admit, this has to be one of my favorites of yours. Your grasp of the English vocabulary shines as well as your poetic grace in this one |
||
|
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
WOW karilea, you have done some amazing things here with this one. Yes, your command is a powerful one indeed, but the format is sheer excellence. This reads so perfectly aloud and I have done so a few times now. This one goes in my file and on my wall in a frame. My favorite of yours for sure.  |
||
|
MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
and I perceive the very phantom of you perforating softly softly Just beautiful, breathtakingly so ~~soft smiles Maureen |
||
|
BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
Karilea....Wow....Such beautiful thoughts, so full of imagery.....Wow.... "like old memories bringing smells of reminiscence on a fall morning in that dawn-tinted sun's rise time preceding the fish's bite…" Simply incredible! Bonnie [This message has been edited by BSC (edited 08-10-2000).] |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ruth, Mark, Maureen, Bonnie... can't keep a secret...Thesaurus works great! Actually, [a little history here] I failed to let everyone know that this poem is 32 years old...and, like all things, required a bit of a poetic face-lift. However, your kind comments have me grinning from poetic ear-to-ear, so thank you all, and I remain, humbly yours, Karilea When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
