Open Poetry #9 |
Summer Idyll- Rubiyat ? |
Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
(Sorry - I tried to write a serious Rubiyat- but I lost it) Fields lush with summer grasses All too quickly summer passes With Queen Ann's Lace, meadows blooming Purple heather none surpasses Gazing at the soft clouds floating Shapes of skiffs and others boating On a sea of azure sky You're with me and I am gloating Without drink or smoke I'm on a high Just your touch and in heaven's I fly You're cuddled close, - here and now The smile that warms, so very sly We need no bread, no wine or bough Your scent charged me all god does allow Your essence is love that surpasses Eyes of paradise with me endow I've forsaken all other lasses Since I met you, forgot what crass is Loving you tender in meadow grasses I've learned what a great piece of ___ is |
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© Copyright 2000 Wilfred Yeats - All Rights Reserved | |||
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hey now, there is something about the loaf of bread and jug of wine, but I think you got the thou down pat...very beautifully written, but the last line did through me off a little, ya know... |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
well - omar I'm not - I merely adhered to the rhyme scheme - (mostly) of the rubiyat. and ended it with a kinda silly line to show a bit of humor - I'll post you anotherin the silly vein - you'll like better |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Wilfred Yeats, You did have me in a spell, but the end really left me smiling. Nicely done. |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
I must confess - when I start to write -I've no idea where it is going to finish- only a few lines get me started - here the d___ rhyme scheme had me going when I realized I'd created two verses in rubiyat form by accident and totall at a loss for a last line to rhyme~G~ - Thank you Bill |
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