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Open Poetry #9
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Impudence
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Impudence |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla 
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Rewrite Impudence Walks across my chest In a safari of one. Under and over follicles A black forest run. He has opened the lid Of a giant eye Caused thunder to echo And sound to fly Bounced boomers Off the bedroom walls Small wonder has caused A mountain to bawl. What in hell crawls my chest What minuscule knight in quest. Dares wake this giant What miniature defiant? What ill fated blunder Do I ponder? That life and death Should drive my breath And be or not to be arise. I swish my hand He meets the sky And flies on to the floor. Today this dinosaur Gives you life And boots you out the door. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
WOW! What a powerful read Seymour! Your imagery was superb ... excellent!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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EWDrake Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 183NC, USA |
Wonderful view of self awareness stretching with the sun to recover composure. Nicely done in image. *S* |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Imagery is perfect indeed!!! and very thought provoking too... regards to you seymour, my friend Sudhir |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Wonderful images of contemptous rigor. I love the last line...always comes back to haunt. well done! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Oh the power of it all! I am really grinning over this one, seymour...Now I know you are an artist for sure! What a picture you have painted here...bravo. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Kit, Thanks for the bouquet. EWDrake, Thank you for the well done. Sudhir, Another bouquet, thank you so much. Ethome, Thank you for the well done. Serenity, Bravo sounds good. *L* |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Small wonder has caused A mountain to bawl. What in hell crawls my chest What minuscule knight in quest. Dares wake this giant What miniature defiant? What ill fated blunder Do I ponder? That life and death Should drive my breath And be or not to be arise. I swish my hand He meets the sky And flies on to the floor. Today this dinosaur Gives you life And boots you out the door. ------------------------- why you dont have an inpudent bone in your body...  very cool Sy-guy...a new style here... like the way you play with poetry (he he) later-awesome-gator jm |
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Lovesick_Proletariat Junior Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 11 |
im not intelligent enough to comprehend this...but from what i do understand....you did a good job. Sincere Regards, L.P |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I love this, Seymour! *G* Does the impudent pest know how lucky he is? LOL |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
You got me when my brain was on holidays so I need a few more readings this poem, but that is ok could the time was a wonderful experince. Going to take a moment to catch my breath and then take a second read. "I am melancholy, flower cutting through stone" manic street preachers |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Janet, Thank you cool Sy. Lovesick, Thanks for the read and comment. Suthern, I hope so. *L* Brien, Well dinosaurs take a while. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Gee, Sy, if you have bugs or lizards in the house why didn't you just call me????? |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Balladeer, Well tomorrow is the first, I expect you any time now. |
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