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Open Poetry #9
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Deeper into You
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Deeper into You |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
.gif) I try to keep you at a distance Pushing back the spark of trust I can’t withstand another fall By golden promises turned to rust I try not to look into your eyes Ignoring the future I might see there I beg for strength to turn away Before I’m blinded by the glare I try to tune out the melody The song you play to my heart I’ll not memorize the lyrics Just to replay them when we part Don’t tell me your dreams And where we will go I can’t believe the fairy tales I just don’t want to know I won’t read the words you compose Nor feel the rhythm of your rhyme Holding fast to the guard rail So my heart will remain mine The more that you show me And the more that we go through Each moment bringing me higher As I fall deeper into you |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very beautifully done, Butterflies! I love it!  Denise |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Very beautiful, butterflies.....killer last two lines |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
oh man..... can i borrow your muse PLEEEEEZZZZZE LOL I'll bring her back in a year or so LOL well you know that....(yadda yadda)  this is awesome girl.. love the rhyme flow and the poetic phrasing... most of all the emotions those last two verses...etched on my heart... (maybe we should have it tattoed on our foreheads)  you know... i know...yadda yadda love ya gator-girl ss |
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Jenn E Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589Kelowna, BC, Canada |
Very graceful, I loved the flow of it all. I enjoyed this very much. Jenn E |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Don’t tell me your dreams And where we will go I can’t believe the fairy tales I just don’t want to know I won’t read the words you compose Nor feel the rhythm of your rhyme Holding fast to the guard rail So my heart will remain mine The more that you show me And the more that we go through Each moment bringing me higher As I fall deeper into you I do so love coming into the forum and finding one of your poems. This is exceptional and it hits home quite hard right now. I love the way you tie the emotions and words together. The plea and the beckoning from the heart are very touching. Great write as I have come to expect from you "SIS".  |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
This hits too close to home...beautiful |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Denise* Thank you very much I'm glad you liked it~Balladeer* Nice to see you...it must be ok if you're here Thank you from the bottom of my heart~J.M.* You can have her for a while...she's keeping me up at night...oh wait...that would be you Thank you muchly SS~Jenn E* Thank you so much, I appreciate you reading and your kind reply~ Mark*.....or would that be my brand new big brother ...lol Thank you for your sunshine...Seems all you can do sometimes is ask and hope the heart will listen....never happens that way though does it~ Paula* Sorry.....was aiming for mine. Thank you for reading and your kind reply~ [This message has been edited by Butterflies_dont_cry (edited 08-04-2000).] |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Bdc, what a charming and beautiful poem you have penned here. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
ButterfliesDC~ I agree with the Balladeer .... 'Each moment bringing me higher As I fall deeper into you' Wonderful lines. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
just felt like the brotherly thing to do. |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Dear butterflies lovely piece I love the feel of the last line As I fall deeper into you Just devine Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
beautifully written charming work...and yes the last two they do it all..Excellent work! |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Eloise* Thank you so much~ Marge* I'm glad those lines were finally right...I changed those two 20 times atleast! Thank you~ Mark* ...tis new to me...the only thing my brother ever did was beat me up! Tracie* Awe.....thank you, you are always so sweet~ ethome* Thank you from the heart~ |
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Beth Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468WA, Australia |
~This was very emotional. I really enjoyed the read!!!~ |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
All those tiny hairs on my arm just stood up to attention...*sigh*.. HUGS "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them." |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Beautiful! |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Beth* And I enjoy your comments very much, thank you~ RG* Thank you..... I'm so glad you liked it~Serenity* Many thanks.....one word means the world when in comes from a sincere heart~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Butterflies---very full and emotionally powerful...loved the last...great work! |
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T McCoy Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 186 |
i didn't reply to this yet? geez! awesome writing again bdc... very honest and powerful... beautiful words... Tony |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A very intense emotional ride...I would love to have this opportunity...how could you not try to care for someone....James |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
OK something weird just happened.........James.......your reply went back in time and put this on page 4.....lol how strange.... Martie* Thank you so much...that means alot coming from you~ Tony* Thank you from the bottom of my heart~ James* Pain has a tendency to make you afraid...at least in my case it has. Thank you for reading~ |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
My heart will always listen to yours my lovely "SIS"....you know this for sure....ALWAYS....you are my faith and my trust......... just wanted an excuse to see your name in the forum again.LOL hugs |
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cathybohannan Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 140Paintsville,KY |
Lovely poem, from your adopted SIS,I thought this was a wonderful poem. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
BDC, This was awesome my friend. Loved it!! Not sure how I missed it the first time, but things have been crazy here so it is possible. Nice writing. I hear a butterfly roaring in the distance!!! LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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ThUnDeRkYsS Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727Wisconsin |
This is truly beautiful my dear, and sad at the same time. Pulls on a couple sensitive strings right now I must say. I am stricken for words to express what I felt as I read this... all I can say is that it is very, very heartfelt and well expressed. Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer. |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Butterfly, of all the ones I've had the pleasure to read from your heart on screen penned for all to read ... this one is my fav of fav's! Hugz to you for making my nightly read end with a sigh! Coco |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Mark* Both of those things are most cherished...thank you from my heart~ Cathy* It's an honor to be your adopted sister in poetry...Thank you so much L.W.* My dear friend...thank you very much...was that a wolf roaring by that b-fly....yep I think it was ThUnDeRkYsS* I'm touched by the sincerity of your reply...I appreciate it very much...thank you~ |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Yes, indeed, all the chores and daily grind of reality have nothing to do with what really matters. Well said! Corinne |
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susanbartee Member
since 2000-08-15
Posts 119Channelview, TX USA |
So very beautiful. I have been holding back on giving my heart completely due to the fear of being hurt and your words hit so very close to home. I will be looking for more of your beautiful words and I'm adding you to my private library. Keep up the good work!! |
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