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Open Poetry #9
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If I Were Going To Need You
| Open Poetry #9 |
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If I Were Going To Need You |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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If I were going to need you, then I would have to change. I'd have to toss out all my hopes, along with half my brain. I'd have to find you fascinating, never again to yearn for free. I'd have to have a bottle--full-- or a frontal lobotomy! If I were to need you now? Please, DO hold your breath... Visit me, at the mortuary... Your victory would be my death! I am already dying slow, each day, another page, in this tome of hopeless home-- each night, I pace, in rage... Need you? No. I think not. I do not have desire. Like a wish from depths of hell, for brimstone, smoke, and fire. |
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| © Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
If I were goin to need you ... I wouldn't change a thing. If I were goin to need you.... I would go to hell's door and give it a ring Wonderfully penned and PLEASE stay YOU....that is the one we want .... trust me!!! |
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Justin Sayne Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 53 |
I had a frontal lobotomy once... They say I don't need you anymore... I'm not sure what I need though... I'm goin' back to the stute where it's safe... I think I need that!!..  |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Don't listen to Justin... He and his brothers have all escaped and Nurse Crachet is trying to round them up... You did a good job on this, my friend.. |
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Alan Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499right next door |
Very heavy. Very nicely written. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
If I were going to need you, then I would have to change. I'd have to toss out all my hopes, along with half my brain. I'd have to find you fascinating, never again to yearn for free. I'd have to have a bottle--full-- or a frontal lobotomy! ======================== Need you? No. I think not. I do not have desire. Like a wish from depths of hell, for brimstone, smoke, and fire. ========================= me thinks me sweet sens bedside mannor has lost its patience for the patient Call in Nurse Cratchet ... bury that poetic hatchet Forget Florence Nightingale ... lol love you for this one..truly.. me |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
nice touch to this one, I liked it alot  ~H |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
serenity, Let me say firstly this poem did NOT match your name at all hrrmmmph. It was savage, bitter and twisted and I LOVED ITBe well Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
serenity...LOL...get up on the wrong side of the bed? Loved the twist...all of us sensuous, serious, sotted folk needed this! |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
serenity, I really loved the humorous bent you put to this bitter reality piece... just loved it..... you pen is so cool. Parker |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
There is no type of person in the world I admire more than someone with wit this sharp and quick!!! YOU DA MAN, er, WOMAN!!!!!! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Mark--------thanx luv, and I've discovered it is much too much work to be anyone else!!! Methinks "me" is quite enough for anyone! With me undying grats and much hugs... Justin------hey! Don't ever let them do that to you! You should've poked the bastid in the eye! Nancy-------and (oops!) me most humble apprecitation! I curtsey to me "Naniness"..... Alan H.-----so nice to know that you're reading...thank you...I promise to catch up on my own replies as soon as I bury the warden's body...heh heh...(heh?) Me JM Twin---psst!!!! Got the estimates in....am now offering good deals for carpenters who work "full monty"---except for the 'tool' belt of course...*wink* X Angel------Laugh loud, laugh alot...and to hell with all the rest...LIVE!!! Kethry-------I thought you might like this...I had an awful one about ear wax...but hey...the night is young, yes? thank you. Sunshine-----and yes, I did indeed get up on the wrong side of the couch today...tonight I will sleep with my head pointed the other way...and that should be my right side...(or is that your left?) LOL Parker---------*winks* hey...just taking out some frustration!!!! but, you wouldn't know about that, wouldja? grins m'friend... Balladeer------Hey...what do you need? DNA TESTING? I'll see you in the Wrastling Ring! (serenity exits, while "Helen Reddy" sings, 'I Am Woman...') |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Serenity,...you kill me! This is not what I expected and that makes it all that much more enjoyable to read. You and your words spit fire tonight!!! Take care of yourself. *Peace. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
And you got by me there!!! Have been worried about you...hope all is well...love and peace to you...Serenity types with her brand-new peace sign cursor! sigh...is good to be home, is it not? |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
I enjoyed this. You put a different view on it for me. Variety is wonderful. Thanks for taking the challenge. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
excellent serenity. . . definitely a different twist here. . . I'd say more. . . but I am late for my frontal lobotomy. . .  superb my friend. . . ------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Serenity--I do love it when you hit hard like this...it is very becoming...great writing!! |
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CAMERON UNDERWOOD Junior Member
since 2000-08-31
Posts 26 |
Very nicely expressed. Remindes me of my x-wife. I wouldn't changed anything about her. But she sure wanted to try and change me. I know its frustrating. If someone doesn't like you for who you are then they can go and *!$! them selves. Thats my modo. Best Wishes to your hopes and dreams Sleepless in Portland |
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Jenn E Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589Kelowna, BC, Canada |
This was great........intresting twist of which I was'nt expecting. I loved it! Great write. Jenn E |
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