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Open Poetry #9
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If I Were Going To Need You - Temptress' challenge.
| Open Poetry #9 |
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If I Were Going To Need You - Temptress' challenge. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia 
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If I were going to need you, me who's self contained I'd need you avariciously, unfettered, unrestrained I'd need you with a passion, untrammeled and unfeigned I'd haunt your eyes lasciviously till none of you remained If I were going to love you, me with all my fears I'd love you bravely, wantonly, eternally through the years I'd love you extramarital, extraordinary, shedding tears I'd take your skin, carnally, me buried in your leers If I were going to want you, me with strangling pride I'd want you unconditionally, unsullied, virgin bride I'd want you unreservedly, and hallmarked deep inside I'd fire your heartbeat, brazenly, ignoring comments snide If I were going to hold you, me with low esteem I'd hold you periodically, upholding you in dream I'd hold you now ecstatically, enlarging the "you" theme I'd wrap you in my loving arms, succubus to your scream If I were going to be you, me with passion scent I'd be you in a loving way that was a sacrament I'd be you sensationally, receptive, heaven sent I'd ensure the me in you became a loving testament "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Something I can believe, and something I can't - I believe this is a wonderful poem. The AAAA structure is not as easy as it looks, I know; yet, you were faithful to that structure throughout the poe. I also think you did a wonderful job of answering the challenge. What I can't believe - I can't believe I found this poem unread on Page 3 of this forum. Absolutely amazed by that. Up to the top it goes. |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Hey Mikey! He likes it! This is neat, adverbishly wonderful! |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Long John, it's a timing thang. You charmer you. Masked Intruder, Well it was certainly adverbishly , hellish to write. It took me fifteen minutes and the "matrix" kept changing. Be well Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
I have to admit I never saw it go by and I thank LJA for bringing back up. Wonderful piece to meet the challenge and I would say that you not only met it but you outshined the expectations by many a count. Excellent penning from you. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Thanks Mark, always a pleasure to receive a compliment from you. Be well Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
Kethry, I think this is wonderful. Do you write with a dictionary beside you? Dee |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Dee, laughs No! but when I was in the womb my mother read dictionaries and medical journals for a little light reading. I think I may have absorbed some words through the placenta. My problem is that are are so many words to choose from. Be well Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Kethry,...*sigh*, it's good to be reading you again. It is. This is so wonderfully wordy, and skillfully written. You shine as a poet in my world.  . Take care you. *Peace. |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
First off - let me echo all said above me. and add - That's how I (I think all of us) want to feel love. extraordinary Kethry simply extraordinary! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kethry--This is wonderful...I'm amazed by this writing and all the perfect words...great job! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"I'd need you with a passion, untrammeled and unfeigned I'd haunt your eyes lasciviously till none of you remained" Excellent Kethry! An amazing display of language and description ... very nicely done!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
wow... to love and be loved like this is an incredible concept indeed. I loved this poem girl ~H |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Kethry, this absolutely "eats up" the competition...wonderful piece...a challenge well met... |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Fire, I am so glad you've returned to passions. I've missed you heaps. Thanks for the compliment about my work. Wil, thank you, that's how I think love should be also. Martie, this is high praise indeed coming from you, thanks. Kit, thanks for replying with my words. You ever notice how different they sound when you read them back cause someone else has written them down. I do. xangel, thanks for reading and responding, I like your honest approach to poetry. Sunshine, if you say it's good it must be good. But I don't know about eats up the competition, maybe snaps at its heels a little bit, but I've read some goood poems with this competition. Be well Kethry. "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
I am enjoying reading all of these challenges, and running fast out of things to say. This was another excellent answer to the challenge. I'll add a sincere WOW!!!, and be on my way to read more.  |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Thanks for the WOW temptress. Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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