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Open Poetry #9
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Passing the Torch
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Passing the Torch |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion 
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The blazing torch, there bursting forth Was luminescent for the world to see. I with no recourse, you had no remorse, When you took that brand from me. My anger flashed, my spirits crashed, As you surrendered to anxiety. Trust, once dashed, is hardest to catch, Even harder, when repeatedly. The truth be said, it's better instead, That, in myself, I not believe, Than to have regret, and lose respect, When you rescind your trust in me. The confession, Dear, the lesson here, Applies equally for one and all. When oppression rears, depression appears, And we spend love breaking the fall. If the torch is my test, do not second guess, Let me try and even fail on my own. Our love will bless the result regardless, And we'll revel in the way we have grown. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved | |||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
You're in grave danger of rendering a suthern belle speechless... WOW! |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
LJA.... One line in this great piece of art jumped out at me and made itself at home in my brain: "And we spend love breaking the fall..." What a great line....should be a song there!  < !signature-->Today is a gift.... That is why they call it 'the Present'! [This message has been edited by Sunny1 (edited 09-14-2000).] |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Okay...so you have me convinced now. You are a true "serious" poet indeed and I say that with all sincerity. I am in awe of how spectacular this is and I look forward to much much more from you in this context. I applaud you sir.  |
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The Lonely Stranger Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 361Upstate, NY, USA |
The same line that caught Sunny1's consciousness caught mine. Oh that we could see the cost of breaking the fall when trust lets us go. A truely good poem cuts deep enough into us to leave a mark on our souls Your poem has done this , thanks for the read |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Your insight is astounding. Kathleen |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Aaah John, was that revel or rebel in the way we've grown. *Hugs* to you for this piece.Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Lorelei54 Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458 |
Surely gives one lots to think about...me included..hmmm...left me wondering |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
I do love it when you write this way... so many wonderful lines, especially, we spend love breaking the fall...sigh...sure is true. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Best watch out, LJA... They'll start to figure out that you're actually a really smart guy...  |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Belle - Speechless - you - hmmm - doesn't seem to flow together real well, does it? lol - Thank you, sweet, gentle, kind Ruth for these words. I know of your wonderful talent, and your compliments elate me. Sunny1 - If a song is made from it, I hope you are on the label - it oughta go Platinum in 3 days. Thanks for the reply. When I write something like this, I'm a little more serious about my writing, and I need the encouragement even more. Mark - Thanks for that comment about me being a serious poet. I am almost like quicksilver sometimes, flowing with the slant of the plate, coalescing and then losing cohesion. And among all that, I sometimes am inspired to say something everybody else knows instinctively. Stranger - A cut into the soul - now THAT is a poetic compliment. Thank you for that. I hope you come to enjoy my lighter side, which seems to keep my muse amused while she waits for my mind to get it in gear. Rose - Ahhh... insight -- Have you ever noticed that the most profound insights are those we already know, but we have never really expressed them to ourselves? I think almost everybody knows how debilitating it can be when one's selfconfidence is undermined by a lack of trust. I worked very hard to gain Lorelei's trust, and she has blessed my life ever since. Kethry - I think all my rebellion has been exhausted by an extremely "friendly" commander in chief. I think revel fits much more nicely, as Lorelei rules my soul with passion and love. Lorelei - Sometimes you read more into my poetry than I thought could be read. I wrote this poem with several competing points of applicability. For example, for all the ambitious parents out there who can't stand the thought of their child not winning the Science Fair, or the husbands who think their wives can't redecorate a home, or the wives who think a husband can't do the laundry. This poem addresses Leadership 101. Martie - I try to write seriously, but inspiration sometimes is not there. That's when "the kitties get a kicking" - lol. Eventually, things break loose again, and something like this poem squeaks out. Thanks for your compliment. Nan - If they think I'm half as smart as you, I'll be flattered completely. Thank you for reading this poem. When I take on a structure like in this poem (i.e., two couplets in a stanza, the couplets rhyming with each other), I always think of you (true story), and I wonder, "Will Nan like this?" I have an incredible amount of respect for what you think. The challenge I love in taking on a more complex rhyming scheme like in this poem is to make it look natural and easy. I hope I succeeded in that (it wasn't easy to write, but it was definitely satisfying). [This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 09-14-2000).] |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
You write something like this, and now I'm so ashamed of having posted the Musketeer poem in which I called you a rogue. But you are a multi faceted man, and that is what makes you so intriguing. All that aside, this is a wonderful poem I loved it Liz |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Liz - thank you dearly for those words of praise - you are a wonderful, powerful poet, and it means a great deal to me to receive your compliments, as I must slave to write something that flows almost as well as what you seem to let flow onto the screen. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Gone is the rogue, welcome the Man! Lorelie...hold tight... |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
LhnJhn ... this is really well done. I must say, although I greatly enjoy all your fun poems too, I'm so impressed with the depth you portray in your serious renderings as well. Your rhythm flows very well, and compliments your wonderful sentiments ... a treat to read your words! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I agree with Liz....you are a multi-faced poet.  Mike, this is excellent. The rhyme scheme you have chosen is perfect for the pace of the poem...when you flex your poetic muscles, you do your pecs proud. Great work!! |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Karilea - Gone is the rogue??? No way! I'll still be hanging aroung righting wrongs with more wrongs... etc, etc... lol. Thank you sincerely for the compliment. Kit - Thank you for those terrific compliments. I wish I could write seriously more often, but my muse is a flirt, and she wants to have fun. 'Deer - Thanks for the compliment, Mike. I really respect your talent as a poet, and it means a lot to me when you recognize something I write as worth a great compliment. [This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 09-15-2000).] |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
What is interesting about this poem is that it is different, probably, to each reader, depending on their point of view and applicability. I for one read this into it: when love loses trust, it's awfully hard to get it back. Nice work, you didn't devulge too much detail, so the reader applies his/her on experiences! Corinne |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Corinne - Actually, I got the inspiration for this poem from something my mother taught me while I was growing up. She allowed me to fail as well as succeed, because she knew that lessons were learned in both cases. So, she'd tell me to do something, and then insist I finish it regardless of the outcome. Her wisdom in this taught me to believe in myself and in my own ingenuity. Its sort of like what Gen Patton once said (paraphrased), "I told my men what to do, not how to do it, and I was always amazed at their ingenuity." |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent writing, Mike. No surprise here. Your serious pieces are as deep as your funny ones are hillarious! I love them all! Denise |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
LJ you've done a spectacular piece here! BRAVO! I just love the many sides of you we get to see here. Funny, serious, affectionate...and just plain good! (well sometimes  )No really, you've left one with much to think about Mike! |
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