Open Poetry #9 |
Dumping An Obstinate Lover, on Whom Subtlety is Wasted |
Dom Mart Member
since 1999-08-17
Posts 164Florida |
There's something in your manners Of which you may not be aware. Well, I shouldn't say,"your manners," When there are no manners there. You're boisterous and presumptuous, But let me be more simple And try to infiltrate a brain Barely bigger than a pimple. You talk too much, you slouch around, Your clothes and body stink. You interrupt when others speak, You make noises when you drink. You break wind with abandon; Your laugh is coarse and raw. You throw food down your gullet Into your swollen, gassy maw. You're only as refined As a mange-infected dog. I'd rather spend an evening with an unenlightened hog. You've never learned the difference Between crudity and wit. You're nothing but a pile of ... Well, I'd better not say it. Now have I put things clear enough? Before it's time to yield the floor. I'll conclude by merely stating, "I just don't like you anymore." |
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© Copyright 2000 Dom Mart - All Rights Reserved | |||
Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
O.M.G...LMAO...you tell em...what a perfect brush off |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Gasp...You've been eavesdropping in my livingroom, haven't you? ROFL...there is a certain mean-spirit in me that adores this!!! Love the venom...LOL...this is great, I'm going to read this again. OUT LOUD. REALLY LOUD. heh heh heh...okay, I'm okay now. But thanks...serenity exits, still giggling... |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
ROFL.....oh I love it!!! I doubt anyone would be left in the dark after reading this one!!!....then again I may know someone Great work!! |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
What a bit of sarcastic whimsy! I've also been enjoying the poems on your website tremendously! ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
Wow...I know someone this would be suitable for me to send this to...now THAT is laying it on thick!!! Nice work!!! Julie :) |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Dom - this is a terrific poem. I thought I was the only person writing poems about Balladeer and Toerag - lol. that's it, Long John. Get in the first finger-point and ol' 'Deer and Toerag won't be able to claim it's you. Naturally, I was just kidding *nervous laugh*. I like the flow of the poem. The rhythm is consistent, and you did a great job of finishing the poem, which often is the most difficult part. I enjoyed it tremendously. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Subtle this is not LOL Great fun, and great writing as well. catalinamoon |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
So THIS is what he was saying! *G* I was crying and caterwauling... for I just heard "GIT!" LOL This is great! |
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jlocke Member
since 2000-09-10
Posts 169CC,TX |
You talk'n to me. ROFL |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Dom now that is so wicked, and I love it. Boy do I know the very person this would fit, but it's a little too subtle, they're so thick they'd think it was a compliment. Great writing, great poem, perfect exit. |
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