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Open Poetry #9
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Dom Mart
since 1999-08-17
Posts 164

0 posted 2000-09-13 02:07 PM

There's something in your manners
Of which you may not be aware.
Well, I shouldn't say,"your manners,"
When there are no manners there.

You're boisterous and presumptuous,
But let me be more simple
And try to infiltrate a brain
Barely bigger than a pimple.

You talk too much, you slouch around,
Your clothes and body stink.
You interrupt when others speak,
You make noises when you drink.

You break wind with abandon;
Your laugh is coarse and raw.
You throw food down your gullet
Into your swollen, gassy maw.

You're only as refined
As a mange-infected dog.
I'd rather spend an evening with an unenlightened hog.

You've never learned the difference
Between crudity and wit.
You're nothing but a pile of ...
Well, I'd better not say it.

Now have I put things clear enough?
Before it's time to yield the floor.
I'll conclude by merely stating,
"I just don't like you anymore."

© Copyright 2000 Dom Mart - All Rights Reserved
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
1 posted 2000-09-13 02:13 PM tell em...what a perfect brush off
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2000-09-13 02:14 PM

Gasp...You've been eavesdropping in my livingroom, haven't you?  ROFL...there is a certain mean-spirit in me that adores this!!!
Love the venom...LOL...this is great, I'm going to read this again.  OUT LOUD.  REALLY LOUD.  heh heh heh...okay, I'm okay now.
But thanks...serenity exits, still giggling...

Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
3 posted 2000-09-13 02:18 PM

ROFL.....oh I love it!!! I doubt anyone
would be left in the dark after reading this
one!!!....then again I may know someone  
Great work!!

Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

4 posted 2000-09-13 03:00 PM

What a bit of sarcastic whimsy! I've also been enjoying the poems on your website tremendously!

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau

Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754
Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!!
5 posted 2000-09-13 03:09 PM

Wow...I know someone this would be suitable for me to send this THAT is laying it on thick!!! Nice work!!!  

Julie :)

Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
6 posted 2000-09-13 03:12 PM

Dom - this is a terrific poem.  I thought I was the only person writing poems about Balladeer and Toerag - lol.  that's it, Long John.  Get in the first finger-point and ol' 'Deer and Toerag won't be able to claim it's you.  Naturally, I was just kidding *nervous laugh*.

I like the flow of the poem.  The rhythm is consistent, and you did a great job of finishing the poem, which often is the most difficult part.  I enjoyed it tremendously.

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
7 posted 2000-09-13 11:14 PM

Subtle this is not  LOL
Great fun, and great writing as well.

Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
8 posted 2000-09-14 01:42 PM

So THIS is what he was saying! *G* I was crying and caterwauling... for I just heard "GIT!" LOL This is great!
since 2000-09-10
Posts 169
9 posted 2000-09-14 04:35 PM

You talk'n to me.

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
10 posted 2000-09-14 06:30 PM

Dom now that is so wicked, and I love it. Boy do I know the very person this would fit, but it's a little too subtle, they're so thick they'd think it was a compliment. Great writing, great poem, perfect exit.

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