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Open Poetry #9
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The Witch Proctor Doctor
| Open Poetry #9 |
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The Witch Proctor Doctor |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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 The Witch Proctor Doctor A complaint of an aching back I made To the bright doctor from the bay, "Please lay down" said she and I obeyed "And take your shirt off" heard her say. With me lying half-naked, she took her leave, Excused herself saying, "will just be a minute", And on platform cold, I waited, quite peeved A minute became an hour, my patience depleted. "It's your liver," said she, when she hurried back I said, "Excuse me, dear doctor, of what do you speak?" "Your liver. The seat of your woes is now a big sack. The stressed weight of it has your back in a tweak" "But doctor", I raised my finger to query "You didn't check me, look over or touch me How could you know 'twas the culprit ~ my liver? Are you a doctor? A quack? Or even a trickster?" To this she said calmly "My profession is quite noble Tho' you may think I am not the norm, my work, I know well The cause of your ills, I find, as I am rather able 'Tis your liver doing your back the harm [not the cold table!]" "Forget potions and pills, come, let me work without my shoes I might tickle a bit, when warm oil falls upon your belly, But be assured, I've learnt my art in the far-east, in Timbuktu I’ve stayed in Indian cities down south, up north, even Delhi!" "I've mastered the mystical arts, of massage and such, Acupuncture, pinpricking, healing by mere touch, I've seen China, Burma and Laos in deep purple haze And been around with hermits who experienced moon daze." "I've soaked up this knowledge from life in the East, And tomorrow I'm flying out West, for a speech and a feast, But first let me treat your ailing back, I’ll deflate your liver, And with some strange pleasure, from you your pain I’ll deliver." "You won't give a damn when I'm finished, this I know Accept as a truth that each woman should ever realise ~ My fee, I accept full in advance, before the show Visa, AMEX, or Cash I take, and I’ll never tell you a lie." On the cold platform, where she had left me ticked All her torture I underwent once I had duly paid her fees, To the tune of a hundred dollars, pocket now fully picked The pain in my back vanished, but somehow I was not pleased.  --- This was written with lots of help from my friend, Karilea --- Thanks a lot Karilea --- |
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| © Copyright 2000 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ma miller Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806 |
Sudhir ... you've got me rolling on the floor here ... what a kick this one was ... great stuff, my friend ... (does this Proctor Doctor make housecalls?) |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Sudhir, aah, the old witch doctor in the proctor poem.. too funny. This was great, gave me a big smile. Parker |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Sudhir~ this is really a fun read, enjoyed it!  -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
rotfl. yep yep.  Be grateful it was yor liver she was working on and not your back otherwise she'd have walked all over you... oh she did didn't she. Loved it very much. Be well Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Sudhir I like women Doctors also...they have that magic touch...this sounds like a vist I made to a chiropractor and she had me in some wierd positions...it did help my back...James |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
would saying witch hazel costs about a buck be a witch hazel appraisal heheh good fun |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Yes, very good fun Sudhir. I thought perhaps she was going to use Reiki on you...might be something to consider. You're a wonderful tale teller, my friend! ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Firstly I would start by thanking Karilea for her extensive help with this one... In fact the title is her suggestion... great, eh? Next, I would like to say I am glad that you all felt tickled by this one... and thank you all for coming by... all your words are muchly appreciated by this heart... Thank you once more, Many regards, sudhir |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Which witch was that proctor doctor? Just wanna watch my back here...  |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
hehehe she'd prefer you use visa or mastercard though, AMEX takes a higher chunk.... Good'un ~Heather [This message has been edited by X Angel (edited 09-13-2000).] |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Wonderful Sudhir!! You have put a smile on my face. Thank you.....Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Nancy, Well, the one with green glasses and blue boiling pot pouring out-of-the-world ointment... Thanks a bunchHeather... great to see you here... nice to share a laff with you... Thanks Marina, I am glad that I did that... Thanks Regards to all, sudhir |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Wonderfully humorous my friend. You have (with the good help of a friend) done an outstanding job and I am sure that without anyhelp it would have been just as enjoyable. You didn't think I would let this one by did you just because my phone lines were out for a couple of days. Glad I caught it. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Hi Mark, my friend smiles back to you regards, sudhir |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
Lets loose a full laugh...he he..very humorous, sudhir...do me a favor, and check ICQ ~*~scg~*~ "Poetry is what makes the invisible appear"-Author Unknown [This message has been edited by sweetcollege_girl (edited 09-14-2000).] |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Sudhir - Just wait until she gets you on that table for your prostate exam!!!! You'll think your liver was fine! lol - This is a terrific read - I laughed all the way through it. great writing! |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Lavada, Thanks so much for coming by... But I had nothing on ICQ... send me an e-mail... Sir Sailorman, Thank you so much... I am glad that you enjoyed this one... Regards, sudhir |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
LOL..i usually dont read long poems as this but i did get caught up in every word ha ha very good sudhir lyer. |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Thought you'd be getting more than tickled my dear? This one, very cute! Corinne |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Sudhir~ *giggling* here ... Be glad you didn't need the doctor with the proctor-scope ! YIKES ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Examinations I've been through Left me feeling black and blue Proctoscopic and prostate while I lay the full prostrate I know what she put you through took your plastic though glued to you but you're smart to take the course if something missed you'd feel much worse Good one Sudhir |
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