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Open Poetry #9
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White
| Open Poetry #9 |
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White |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
White You will see white Pure as a wedding gown Or a bursting supernova light Like snowflakes falling down Like a shine from a crystal-lit town Or the creamy potato when you mash Surrounding makeup on the face of a clown Blinding spots from a camera flash A pinch of a sugar dash Or the milk in a cereal bowl The age showing in a seniors mustache The life energy from a newborns soul The ring you receive called your halo Is the essence of you when your soul is stripped bare And the feathers of your wings as you fly to your goal When you enter the gates of you know where |
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| © Copyright 2000 insect - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I like this! Delicate mixed with solid reality - cool!  K"He looked across the silky surface of the Severn... it was a famously difficult river with fierce tides..." From Jack Maggs |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Severn…Thank you very much. I'm happy you liked this. I've done this style twice before where I rhyme from one verse to the next and so on. It is a bit difficult but I'm always happy with the results. Thanks again for responding! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You did an excellent job, insect. I'm not wild about that age showing in a senior's moustache crack...somebody send you my pic? LOL!  |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Simple purity of reality and beautifully penned. Lovely write. |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Insect~ This is really very pretty, and I enjoyed the flow. -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Balladeer…You’re a senior? I thought you dyed it that way? LOL Thanks for the reply. Really I hope I'm as young as you when I reach your age friend! You are as young as you feel. Thanks for the laugh!! Mark Bohannan…Thank you very much Mark. I enjoyed writing this one and I'm happy that you enjoyed reading it. That was a very nice reply thanks! SEA…Thank you SEA. Lately I've tried to make my poems look nice and hopefully sound nice too! I'm glad you dropped in to reply thanks again |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
You are an ever present source of amazement with your use of colour...I loved this from start to finish and would love to see you do this with one of your weather reports |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Insect~ The thoughts in your poem are just delightful. 'The ring you receive called your halo Is the essence of you when your soul is stripped bare And the feathers of your wings as you fly to your goal When you enter the gates of you know where' You have a flair ... and I'm enjoying it. Thanks for this little gem to brighten the day. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
insect, I really enjoyed this poem. Taking one simple point and developing the thoughts around it... very well done. Some stunning imagery you passed on. Trev. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Great poem - I like the style you pointed out - it slid right by me because the words flowed so smoothly. As for going "you know where" - Do they really allow wings down there? *hopeful eyes* |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Paula Finn…Thank you May your whole week be colourful! Marge Tindal…Thank you It's always delightful to get a reply from you! Glad that you found enjoyment from this one. I enjoy reading it too! Trew…Thank you I'm glad this brought a visual when reading! I tried to make the poem as positive as I could. But it was the imagery that I wanted to stand out the most. Thanks again. LngJhnAg…Thank you This style is fun try it? I did two poems in Dark Passions; one was "Prince of…….." and the other was "Army of …….. " and YOU might want to check out " …… RUO " since I'll be seeing you again! LOL I'm glad that you came to me for that question! "*hopeful eyes*" Ha! Ha! Haaaa!! (long laugh with echo!) Only bat type wings my friend!! Here come closer to this hole let's see how well they are working for you!! Don't worry I'll wait for YOU at the bottom!!! . Before you go just sign this guest book! What?!! I just like red ink why do you ask? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YOUR SOUL IS MINE! |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
I like the poem and the look of it. I think I'll try my hand at it..... being a born again virgin and all. Keep an eye out for "Lace". Parker [This message has been edited by Haleyja (edited 09-15-2000).] |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Haleyja…Thank you It's pure poem! You born again!! LOL |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
Oh this is wonderful. White, sigh, one of my fav. colors. I really loved this. Juls |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Thank you Juls I'm glad you flew in to read. Here take this halo sweet poet! |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Insect You love to write about color and they are all so very well written. You wrote about white today, but I'm a little smitten.(just kidding) You've wrote about colors in a rainbow; red, pink, yellow, & blue. I've never seen you write about black, ya know it's a beautiful color too.  Again, this was an exquisite write. The imagery was wonderful. I hope to go "you know where"  Garfield |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Thank you ggrn3 Yes I love colours and writing about them is fun And I especially like black and there is a poem that I wrote in Dark Passions some what on black but it is a DARK one and it is only creative writing to me. It's called "Prince of Darkness". I submitted it to the book also. Prince of Darkness and White and another one called "Army of Darkness" are all written with the same rhyming style which is hard but always satisfying when they are finished. Army of Darkness and Prince of Darkness aren’t allowed to go to "you know where" but really they are just poems so if you dare to read you might have to come back and read "White" to purify your thoughts again? Anyway I really love your reply and thanks for the rolling smile. White days ahead for you and a halo and wings. |
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