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Open Poetry #9
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Waking, Bittersweet
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Waking, Bittersweet |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Sunday morning... I'd slept in peace. Raindrops sang me off to sleep-- Each drop a dream, a click of key, gracious gift of trickery-- I dreamt of you nearby. A yawn at dawn-- I woke in smile, glare of sun in stark defile. tepid tears my chagrin-- I slept to have you near again. |
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| © Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Serenity - terrific slant on having and not having. Very nicely written, too. |
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Ann Member
since 2000-07-07
Posts 64Australia |
This was a lovely poem...i can relate with that feeling of stark disappointment when one wakes in the morning and realises they aren't with that 'special someone' after all. God bless and take care!  |
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Artistic Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 107Colorado/Rochester, NY |
Wow, I like the way you wrote the poem... of how you think he's there, and yet, he is there, much to your disappointment. (Am I getting this right?) Nice!  ~Artistic~ "Dreams are the touchstones of our characters" -Henry David Thoreau |
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Artistic Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 107Colorado/Rochester, NY |
Wow, I like the way you wrote the poem... of how you think he's there, and yet, he is there, much to your disappointment. (Am I getting this right?) Nice! ~Artistic~ "Dreams are the touchstones of our characters" -Henry David Thoreau |
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Artistic Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 107Colorado/Rochester, NY |
Wow, I like the way you wrote the poem... of how you think he's there, and yet, he is there, much to your disappointment. (Am I getting this right?) Nice! ~Artistic~ "Dreams are the touchstones of our characters" -Henry David Thoreau |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
LittleSerenity~ At least you slept in peaceful dream. Love ya ... lots of *HUGS* Beautifully done, my girl. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
"Raindrops sang me off to sleep--" Lovely line, serenity. This poem lives far beyond the "page" my friend. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
serenity, This is simply wonderful...you've done so well with this...lovely it is. Michael Proust- "Love is space and time measured by the heart" |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
LJ---terrific compliment coming from one who just had his wooden leg shredded by angry kitties...ah ha ha...smiles to ye, m'pirate pal... Ann---I'll take the dream tho, grin---I dream VERY vividly. Thank you. Artistic---that was so close, I should send you a cigar---three, even...LOL and thanx. Marge---I am feeling a spirit of determination lately...can't imagine where that is coming from...*wink* HUGS claire--I thank you kindly, your replies mean much to me, as they are sincere and gentle as your work. Michael--oh, thank you. I am a faithful reader of your inspirational work, and I am so glad that I could give you a bit of enjoyment back...I thank you. My sincere gratitude to all. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
serenity, This is haunting in its sheer reality. You have captured those feeling perfectly my friend. It is always a letdown to awake and find that special someone is not really there after all. Wonderful writing. Lone Wolf Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Zyell Member
since 2000-07-28
Posts 121USA |
serenity.....i like the way you arranged the words, they spin....perfectly, enjoyed, I did indeed! *S* Z "I am an abstract of Circles" |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
What a wonderful verse full of wanting heart you have penned. Just lovely from beginning to end. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Wonderful to the power of wonderful regards O Serene One, sudhir |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
they are there. . . and yet, they are not. . . but they are there. . . from dreaming of them, to dreaming with them. . . wonderful my friend. . . ----------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Aww, and I believe that you have said that you can not write poetry in rhyme, serentiy darlin'. You did. I love it. A |
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