Open Poetry #9 |
Another Heartache In This Town |
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Another Heartache In This Town ~*Marge Tindal*~ You picked me up I let you down Another heartache in this town Another tattered memory lies within the heart of me You lay there broken at my feet daring love in it's retreat You picked me up I let you down Another cheating heart in town Not drowning in the tears you shed I swam the other way instead Didn't want the love I'd found Left the heartache in this town Word arrived you'd slipped away I felt memories come back to weep The love you freely gave to me I now wish was mine to keep You picked me up - I let you down Now in these tears I surely drown Wanting nothing more than you to pick me up when I feel blue You picked me up I let you down Tossed away the flowers you gave Buried now in memories laying withered on your grave I can't go back so now I pine This time the heartache is all mine Drowning now in the memory of pain that will not set me free You picked me up - I let you down Please forgive this heartbroken clown ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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© Copyright 2000 Marge Tindal - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
WOW! Marge, you could sing this.It's up to your usual excellent standard. Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Returning the favour to "pick you up" ... HUGS to you! I enjoyed this Marge. What perfect closing lines for this beautiful journey through heartache and regret. Very nicely penned! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Fantastic poem/song, Marge! Some lessons are learned the hard way, some are learned too late. Denise |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Cowboy is not in a grave me love.....he is just riding a different range.......I do need a clown for MY rodeo though. Beautiful write my lovely friend. Just as always. [This message has been edited by Mark Bohannan (edited 09-09-2000).] |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kethry~ *giggling* here ... That's just how it came about. I'm famous for my little kitchen songs. Thank you for the compliment. Kit~ Thanks, hon. All hugs always appreciated. Denise~ Another of life's lessons found in the kitchen. I REALLY DO have a muse who hides in my kitchen cabinets ! MarkB~ Cowboy, you mean you want to 'clown around'? Wahoo ! You are such a delight to this lady's way of thinking ! *I just LOVE this place ! ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
Wonderful writing. I love the repeating verses. Great rythem. |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
I tried to sing the words... the dog started howling and I think he sounded better... so will just say... wonderful poem... enjoyed a lot. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Effigy~ Thank you so much for the read. Glad you enjoyed it. Mike~ Oh ... yeah ... well the dog probably started howling listening to The Ballad Of Mike and if I was him ... I'd howl too ! LOL ! Thanks for reading ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Wow, I felt so much regret here, such a lovely piece, with a strong message coming through. catalinamoon |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
One of your very best Marge - and definitely singable - I think you should submit it to a songwriter - sincerely! ~Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on in your own hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever the pain, because the pain of not being true to it is far, far greater. ~ Nicholas Evans ~ [email protected] |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
marge- wow! this is amazing! I really felt this one all the way through. Had me hanging on every word. loved it, as usual. love ya, -vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet. -vlraynes |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
this was really good Marge ~Heather |
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Artistic Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 107Colorado/Rochester, NY |
Marge- I LOVED it!! When I read it, it was like a song! It was beautiful... ~Artistic~ "Dreams are the touchstones of our characters" -Henry David Thoreau |
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The Lonely Stranger Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 361Upstate, NY, USA |
My first thought as I read this was that this was a lovely song. Then I read the other comments, I was apparently NOT alone. Some men see things as they are and ask "WHY ?" I see things as they could be and ask "WHY NOT ?" |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Wow, Marge - you sure get picked up a lot! Have you thought about going out with your girlfriends? I'm sure they could help you say "No" once in awhile heh heh BTW - neat poem. [This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 09-10-2000).] |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Wilfred~ I thank you so very much for the compliments. *Hugs* Vicky~ Thank you, love. XAngel~ You sweetie ! Glad you enjoyed it. Artistic~ Thank you for such a pleasant reply. LonelyStranger~ Well, you won't be 'lonely' or a 'stranger' for long in this family. Thank you. LongJohn~ Now, if I started saying 'NO' ... where would that leave YOU ??? LOL ! Thanks for the reply ya' sweetie ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi Marge--What a wonderfully done piece of heart ache here...you have really written this well, my sis...I am impressed truly! Hugs! |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
Wow my friend this is really something. Yep once again you've amazed me. Hugs, Juls |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
CatalinaMoon~ Whoops ! I missed you in there somehow and wouldn't do that for the world. Thank you soooooooo much for the sweet reply. Martie~ It just needs to be sung and I'm doing it right now. Thanks for the sweet reply, love ya. Juliet~ You are such a sweet spirit. Thank you for the wonderful reply. Glad you enjoyed it. *Love to all of you ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Lots of deep flowing emotion in this one Marge. This poem is quite songlike in structure. "You picked me up I let you down." Great work as usual!! Take care.......ethome |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
ETHome~ Thank you, my sweet friend. Always love seeing your smiles here. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Marge~ no matter the subject, you amaze me......you make me smile, and you make me wish I had half your talent......this is wonderful, and I heard a song in it too! -SEA Live,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Of course it's good...Marge did it... |
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ddgoose Member
since 2000-07-25
Posts 250Baltimore, MD, USA |
Marge I can just picture you singing this in your kitchen. Great words - nicely done. didi |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Marge~ What can I say? Loved this one my friend. You know why . . . Beautiful writing. You have said much to my heart . . . Lone Wolf Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
SEA~ My goodness ... how you carry on ! Thank you from the heart of my little bottom. Karilea~ HUGS to you my friend. DiDi~ I'm just a singing fool in that kitchen ! My birds even joined in. Thank you for enjoying it too. LoneWolf~ Awwww ! And you always touch mine with your sweet replies. *BIG HUGS* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I like the flow of this poem, and particularly enjoyed the final couplet - I didn't expect a poor heartbroken clown at the end... Very nice, indeed.. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Nan~ Thanks, friend. I'm pleased to have caught you by surprise. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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