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Open Poetry #9
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2000-09-09 12:27 PM


I heard roaring
bass drum pound
terror--beats
in soundless sound,
I felt a presence--
no soul around--
my birthright, shackles,
Satan's bound.

Tears of ice
from love grown cold--
Besmirking youth
embracing old...
another mile
walked down the road,
The agony?
Death knell of soul.

I do not rage
of sleep's retire--
I haunt the night.
Death--expired.

© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 2000-09-09 03:01 PM


Chilling, Serenity. Challenge well met, I'd say!

Denise

Lucius Cade
Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235
Saskatchewan
2 posted 2000-09-09 03:07 PM


My birthright, shackles
Satans bound


Awesome, it was scary.


Lucidity is the answer to all problems

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2000-09-09 03:11 PM


Denise, I thank you much and Lucius I thank you for your kindness.  But ya know...I didn't scare myself with this one...should have written one about sleeping again, LOL--now that's terror!!!  But I thank you much.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-09-09 03:43 PM


Serenity~
I found no terror
but I did find wonderfully saged thoughts -

'in soundless sound,
I felt a presence--
no soul around--'


'Besmirking youth
embracing old...
another mile
walked down the road'


Oh, wonderful write ! !
Love ya' gal !
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
5 posted 2000-09-09 06:11 PM


Serenity,
The words weren't terrifying but the way you put them together...Well!!

Excellent.

Kethry

"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
6 posted 2000-09-11 06:05 AM


Haunting...

Excellent...

regards O Serene One,
Sudhir

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
7 posted 2000-09-11 07:12 AM


Wonderful Serenity! A haunting feel to these sentiments, challenge well met!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

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