The falling star... (for my baby Jordan that passed away)

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Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

0 posted 2000-09-08 12:52 PM

Jordan(the river) is derived from the Hebrew word pronounced yar-dane, meaning descender. Here it is my poem dedicated to my baby Jordan and to my eternal love, Laci.

THE FALLING STAR...

I feel the breeze of the descender river caressing my face
Walking to the beach of loneliness at a slow pace
I look and the purity of the descender river is out of my way
All I can see is a little star falling away...

My fingers are squeezing the sand... I feel so sorrow
I'll be watching the stars today and be here tomorrow
I expected only hope from the descender river, but today
All I can see is a little star falling away...

Descender river you strengthened my feelings for a while
And brought into my eyes every morning a beautiful smile
I wanted so bad to embrace you but you are not mines at that day
All I can see is a little star falling away...

Beloved descender river I wanted to plunge into your crystal flow
And follow you everywhere... even where the whirlwinds blow
Alone with my thoughts, I pay the price of my misery, but today
All I can see is a little star falling away...

Please take the time to post few words for me, even if I am just a stranger to you... It means alot to me because I cried soo much those days...

[This message has been edited by Floren (edited 09-09-2000).]

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

1 posted 2000-09-08 01:32 AM

Here it is a picture with me and Laci:

[This message has been edited by Floren (edited 09-09-2000).]

tracie66
Member Elite

since 2000-01-18

Posts 4713
Australia

2 posted 2000-09-08 01:39 AM

Dear Floren
This poem tells a story of heartache and deep sorrow. I hug you~
Poetry is a wonderful way to express our feelings keep it up sweetie and in time your heartache will be eased even if it is only a little.
HUGS
Tracie~

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

3 posted 2000-09-08 02:56 AM

Dear Floren,
so sorry you lost your little one, the grieving's really hard. Hope you can look up soon. I liked your poem.
Email me if you want to.
Be well (HUGS)
Kethry

"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant

since 2000-06-17

Posts 5546
missouri

4 posted 2000-09-08 03:01 AM

There are shoulders plenty here in passions...please email me if you want or need to talk...this is a truly lovely verse you have penned...sad yes..but it speaks your love so well.

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

5 posted 2000-09-08 04:11 AM

Thank you soo much for your comments.. u r truely people with good hearts.. i find refuge in poetry every time i'm lonely..

[This message has been edited by Floren (edited 09-09-2000).]

taol
New Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 1

6 posted 2000-09-08 05:26 AM

Well...
It´s sad to hear stuff like this.
But im sure he is safe in gods hands and he´ll be waiting for you up there.

Taol

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

7 posted 2000-09-08 05:37 AM

thank you taol for ur kind words...

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

8 posted 2000-09-08 06:51 AM

Floren, I want to say so much, but I think I will email you instead of putting it all here.
Hugs for you and Laci,
Dee

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

9 posted 2000-09-08 07:19 AM

thank you dee for the comforting words.. ur heart is soo warm

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

10 posted 2000-09-08 07:26 AM

Welcome to Passions, Floren - This is a wonderful place, full of caring and compassion for one another. Your loss is an indescribable one, yet you manage to put some of those feelings into words. I can't fathom a greater burden than to lose a child. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work - Check your email for a special greeting.

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

11 posted 2000-09-08 07:33 AM

thank you nan.. i write alot those days.. is the best refuge from everything..

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite

since 2000-03-06

Posts 3733
Michigan

12 posted 2000-09-08 07:38 AM

Welcome to the walls and friends of Passions
My hope is that you find safety here to open
you here and as the pain flows out allow
some healing to come in. Your poem was
beautifully touching and the pain and love
for your son showed in every line...Thank
you from the bottom of my heart for sharing
this with all of us. Heartfelt hugs sent
cyberly to you~

doorstep
New Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 2

13 posted 2000-09-08 07:42 AM

when u think that life is complete, things like this happen. I hope that u come through it. I know you're baby is waiting for u in heaven. Because baby's haven't done anything. I know it's hard. I have lost my brother a few years ago. But just keep up the faith. You have my icq if ya wanna talk to me.

Stength from:
Doorstep

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

14 posted 2000-09-08 07:46 AM

I wish soo much to be a butterfly
So I can never ever let my feelings cry
All I can do is sit here and watch
Receiving from all of you this special touch..

Thank you soo much butterflies_dont_crie...

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

15 posted 2000-09-08 07:48 AM

thank you doorstep for the comforting words in the icq.. thank you soo much..

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

16 posted 2000-09-08 09:55 AM

I will try to write another poem about my son.. but my tears are covering my face right now..

[This message has been edited by Floren (edited 09-08-2000).]

poutprincess
Senior Member

since 2000-07-06

Posts 735
Perth, Western Australia, Australia

18 posted 2000-09-08 12:50 PM

i also had a little star that faded away...like so many others....i know your hurt..this poem is beautiful even though it is laden with sorrow......we welcome you here..and i look forward to reading more.

"Steady as it comes, right down to you, I've said it all, so maybe we're a Bliss of another kind" Bliss-Tori Amos

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

19 posted 2000-09-08 01:17 PM

gosh my eyes are in tears even as i type this(and i am one of those guys who seldom cry)..i believe nothing i say here can ease away your pain but i hope you'll pull through

HUGS

kaile
pls email me when you need a listening ear

[This message has been edited by kaile (edited 09-08-2000).]

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

20 posted 2000-09-08 01:19 PM

poutprincess... u don't know how much you touched me with your words...

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

21 posted 2000-09-08 01:22 PM

thanks kaile... i need to be silent and lonely... to ease my pain.. but i'm here in this forum to read what you peole say...

Irie
Senior Member

since 1999-12-01

Posts 1493
Washington State

22 posted 2000-09-08 01:32 PM

Floren, let me start by welcoming you to Passions. I do believe that you'll find many friends, comfort and shoulders to cry on here if needed.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I couldn't even begin to imagine your pain.
I hope that poetry will work as some sort of therapy for you and help you along the way.
Great big warm hugs to you and Laci.
You and Laci and your son Jordon are ALL in my prayers!
I hope that you're able to find some comfort soon.

~Sheri

Rosebud1229
Senior Member

since 2000-04-05

Posts 1813
North Carolina

23 posted 2000-09-08 01:33 PM

Floren, if just one thing I could say to comfort you so, but I know no words will sooth you. I know you must be suffering such pain that does not compare to any other. I can say it's a time for you and Laci to connect and show you love each other more than ever. God is taking care of Jordan now
so just remember this is just a temporary place and he stays in the eternity of God's love. All I can say is just as you said of the river bathe and renew and refresh your soul.

[This message has been edited by Rosebud1229 (edited 09-08-2000).]

einengel
New Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 1

24 posted 2000-09-08 01:55 PM

Floren, this poem is very touching and shows your true feelings.
I know we all cant do much with words for the pain you feel inside, but knowing so many ppl care for you and do believe your pain, is a sign.
I enclose you in my daily prayers my friend.
May God help you through this sad time and give you all the strength you need.

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

25 posted 2000-09-08 02:17 PM

thank you irie... my heart is soo warm when i see how much compassion is in this place...

BloomingRose
Member Elite

since 2000-08-09

Posts 3092
Florida

26 posted 2000-09-08 02:25 PM

Floren,
Your words of loss so touched my heart. I ache with you, though I don't know you.
Each child given by God, though they may stay only a while, gives us that light of eternal love that never goes out.

Deb

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

27 posted 2000-09-08 02:33 PM

thank you eingel for your prayers...

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

28 posted 2000-09-08 02:52 PM

thank you BloomingRose...

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

29 posted 2000-09-08 03:11 PM

thank you Rosebud1229

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

30 posted 2000-09-08 03:25 PM

Floren

I'm sorry for your loss. God calls home those he thinks are perfect in the life they've led so far - your son must have met His criteria beautifully. You'll see him again, but not as soon as you think, as there are things for you to do in this life first. Again, I'm sorry.

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

31 posted 2000-09-08 03:28 PM

I KNOW all to well of your loss and I am sorry that you must go through this. I am attaching an http for you to visit that may help. Welcome to the comfort of Passions.
/pip/Forum33/HTML/001854.html

monte
Junior Member

since 2000-06-22

Posts 33

32 posted 2000-09-08 03:33 PM

I can not imagine the pain a mother must feel with the loss of a child. I have 3 sons and cherish evey moment with them, and now will cherish them even more.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

33 posted 2000-09-08 04:43 PM

My heart is touched by your sadness in loss...I have known the same...and there is no pain so great...I can only say that time will help you understand and become stronger.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

34 posted 2000-09-08 07:26 PM

Sorry there is so much sadness in your life right now...you have shared a beautiful message of Love...hope healing will come and visit you and embrace your sad heart...Take care...James

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

35 posted 2000-09-08 10:07 PM

thank you LngJhnAg...

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

36 posted 2000-09-08 10:21 PM

Mark Bohannan, i readed the post and i felt the suffering that is expressed in the rhymes.. is making me feel soo special that i can share all this love and comfort with you...

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

37 posted 2000-09-08 10:27 PM

I spend much of my time working with babies and I love them all so much...to loose your own child has to be extremely painful. I am so sorry for your loss but am glad that you're working on your feelings by writing. It's a wonderful way to wade through powerful emotions. A sorrowful, yet wonderful poem. I wish you the best and I welcome you to Passions.

*Krista Knutson*

"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucious

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

38 posted 2000-09-08 10:43 PM

monte, Martie, jmlee12345and Alwye... thank you all for your kind words...

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant

since 2000-03-16

Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

39 posted 2000-09-08 10:46 PM

Floren,

Welcome to the Passions family. You have made quite a mark here. This was so heart wrenching to read. I am very sorry for your loss and the pain it has caused you and Laci. I look forward to reading more of your work. Keep writing . . . it will help you heal. Nice work. This must have been a tough one for you to post. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Lone Wolf

Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

40 posted 2000-09-08 10:58 PM

thank you Lone Wolf.... and thank you for the comforting words in Icq...

Eloise
Senior Member

since 1999-11-27

Posts 1096
Wyoming

41 posted 2000-09-08 11:01 PM

Welcome to Passions Floren. Your words were so touching and I'm sorry for your loss. Look forward to reading more from you.

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

42 posted 2000-09-08 11:05 PM

thank you Eloise...

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

43 posted 2000-09-09 12:12 PM

thank you all for your sincere feelings.. i will try to get some sleep now..

[This message has been edited by Floren (edited 09-09-2000).]

Beth
Member

since 2000-07-06

Posts 468
WA, Australia

44 posted 2000-09-09 03:43 AM

~I feel deeply for your loss..Your poem reached out and touched me in a way that is unexplainable...I hope you find yourself feeling a little better with your friends here at Passions...Welcome to you!
Blessed be!~

~Cherie~

fehm
New Member

since 2000-09-09

Posts 1

45 posted 2000-09-09 04:23 AM

Dear Floren.I am so sorry to hear about your little boy. I am 17 yrs old. My mum has a brain tumour and she's not the same person she used to be so i know what it feels like to lose ' a part of you'. There is a big place reserved in my heart for you and my thoughts are with you. The poem was beautiful and i hope your life ahead will be so too.

Thinking of you
All my love and hugs
Beth x x x

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

46 posted 2000-09-09 05:50 AM

Thank You Beth and fehm for your kind words...

dafka
New Member

since 2000-09-09

Posts 1

47 posted 2000-09-09 10:20 AM

IN THE OLD DAYS
           IN THE OLD WAYS
                      THERE ARE NO WORDS

There is a grief so bitter,
that there are no words.
My People would cut their breast,
above their heart, in the Old Days.

We slash our hair, often gash our forehead,
because we feel that the outside,
should show the inside, that pain.
In the Old Ways, there are no words.

My Brother, I am of those Old Ones.
Your pain is my pain, and your grief.
This day, I watch the blood trickle,
over my heart - there are no words!

My body bleeds like your Spirit now,
and I have taken a part of my hair.
In the Old Ways - I will send it to you.
Cast it in the wind, and with it, your grief.

Set free two Spirits, Jordans and yours.
            I have no words . . . . .

Your Brother Huste`

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

48 posted 2000-09-09 10:28 AM

dafka my brother.. i will do the native ceremony as you asked me.. u were for me always.. in my soul, in my body.. even if the distance separate us now..

Our souls will be always toghether
For good and for bad, forever...

You know that I have in me some indian blood.. brother...

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

49 posted 2000-09-09 10:58 AM

Floren, welcome to Passions...you and yours are welcome, for there are no walls, only warmth and compassion...

I hope that you will be able to release your sorrows, know that your child is safe in God's hands, and find peace within yourself, and in these blue pages.

I look forward to calling you...friend...

Karilea
When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

50 posted 2000-09-09 11:13 AM

Welcome to Passions Floren ... what an incredibly moving first post. You've captured such gentle and tender sentiments in your words. At such a sorrowful time, the pen does indeed become a venue for therapeutic healing. You will find much love and compassion here within these walls. Welcome ... and take care of your gentle heart.

Best wishes,
/Kit

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

51 posted 2000-09-09 02:13 PM

thank you Sunshine and Kit McCallum for ur kind and loving words...

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

52 posted 2000-09-09 03:01 PM

Welcome!

Being a mother of three I can only imagine that immense pain of losing a precious child.
My heart goes out to you.
Pain fades eventually...but know he is in a place where he's happy. Held in the arms of God.

<*\\\><

Be an organ donor...give your heart to Jesus!

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

53 posted 2000-09-09 03:11 PM

WhtDove... i was soo impressed by your signature.. Jesus is with us all the time.. Thank You for your kind words...

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

54 posted 2000-09-09 03:21 PM

Sorry to hear of your loss, there is no pain greater than the death of a child.

Peace.

Corinne

Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member

since 1999-08-26

Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho

55 posted 2000-09-09 03:25 PM

Floren and Laci, my heart goes out to you both. I am also a bereaved mother.
I love the way you wrote the poem, describing little Jordan as a little falling star. That was beautiful, and so very sad.
Thank you for sharing, and I am so sorry.

The spiritual wind that holds survivors aloft, plants the seeds from which bloom new hope ... R.J.G.

Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member

since 1999-08-26

Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho

56 posted 2000-09-09 03:28 PM

Floren and Laci, my heart goes out to you both. I am also a bereaved mother.
I love the way you wrote the poem, describing little Jordan as a little falling star. That was beautiful, and so very sad.
Thank you for sharing, and I am so sorry.

The spiritual wind that holds survivors aloft, plants the seeds from which bloom new hope ... R.J.G.

Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member

since 1999-08-26

Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho

57 posted 2000-09-09 03:30 PM

Floren and Laci, my heart goes out to you both. I am also a bereaved mother.
I love the way you wrote the poem, describing little Jordan as a little falling star. That was beautiful, and so very sad.
Thank you for sharing, and I am so sorry.

lucky
Senior Member

since 2000-01-17

Posts 1601
Idaho

58 posted 2000-09-09 03:33 PM

Floren and Laci, I am lucky's wife, using his computer. I had to tell you that my heart goes out to you both. We are also bereaved parents.
I love the way you wrote the poem, describing little Jordan as a little falling star. That was beautiful, and so very sad.
Thank you for sharing, and I am so sorry.
- Rosemary J. Gwaltney

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

59 posted 2000-09-09 03:49 PM

Corinne, Rosemary J. Gwaltney and lucky thank you for the strenght of your words...

English Rose
Member

since 2000-08-20

Posts 211
Berkshire, England

60 posted 2000-09-09 06:09 PM

I have a son....he is 20 now....I cannot imagine life without him.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

61 posted 2000-09-09 07:01 PM

I Felt You There
(on miscarriage)

I felt you there
when I was sleeping
I wish I'd never known
the hopes we were keeping

I felt you there
when I stood in the night
alone, wishing I hadn't known
you put up such a fight

I felt you there
when I tried to eat
truly not there anymore
hopes were nothing against defeat

So what's the use?
throwing the food on the floor
life left, killing both of us,
neither of us need to eat anymore.

I felt you there
when I ran out the door
weeping, realizing
you’ll never be hungry anymore.

Floren, I hate to sound like one of those positive people who you want to strangle sometimes, but everything happens for a reason. A death of a child is not comprehendable to me, but faith is. I lost my mother and brother to suicide. I don't understand it and don't try to reason with it anymore. It was time. Jordan had a purpose he fulfilled. You may not see it now. You may never know it. But when the teacher comes, he teaches and he leaves. You will grow. You will learn something from him. Always keep him up where you can see him everyday, and smile with him. Be angry, be sad, be scared, be stagnant, be weak, and never forget, God has a way of balancing things out.

~shadows dance by the light within~

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

62 posted 2000-09-10 01:33 AM

Thank You English Rosepassing shadows for your encouragement words...

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

63 posted 2000-09-10 01:33 AM

Thank You English Rose and passing shadows for your encouragement words...

MMoonchild
Senior Member

since 2000-07-13

Posts 1715
PA

64 posted 2000-09-10 05:49 AM

Your words were so beautiful, your loss so evident and your heart so loving for Jordan, this little star that shall never fade away, as long as you have your precious memories and special love for your lady...

I was greatly touched
~~soft hugs
Maureen/Moonchild

* there is much comfort to be had in the words of others on here...

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

65 posted 2000-09-10 06:09 PM

thank you MMoonchild for ur good heart words...

Alle'cram
Senior Member

since 2000-02-28

Posts 1816
Texas

66 posted 2000-09-10 07:56 PM

Hi Floren,
So touched by your lovely, sad poem of little Jordan and how difficult a time for you and Laci.
Go out and look for the brightest, most beautiful, shinest, colorful, radiating star in the heavens tonight, there you will find Jordan. "The Falling Star", is in your & Laci's hearts, but Jordan's start is brightly lit in heaven for you to name and look upon, as he will follow you till one day you are rejoined beside him, with your own star for others to view. I promise.
Love, Marcy

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

67 posted 2000-09-10 08:23 PM

Thank you for posting this heart wrenching, but beautiful poetry. I look forward to seeing more of your work. I had put off reading this post til a quiet time, and it is truly touching, just as I knew it would be. I'm so glad you have the openess to write your feelings.
Best regards
Liz

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

68 posted 2000-09-11 02:34 AM

thank you Alle'cram and Elizabeth Santos for your kind and warm words...

italianpimpster
New Member

since 2000-09-12

Posts 2

69 posted 2000-09-12 01:02 AM

Hi Floren, I dont really know u.... I havent the idea How u became part of my icq list.. but receiving this message ment alot to me. I so very sorry for what happen to your child and I send u all my deepest sempity. I know it is hard to acept the fack that ur child as left us (well U mostly) in deep sorrow, but we shall stay together and live remembering the good times U've had with ur child.
It is hard for me to accept the fact that such a frail creature at a young age has left this world for the better world at such an age. There not much I could say but give u my condolences to u and ur family and maybe hope u'd feel better to hear that I'll give myself a little moment this evening to think about ur child.
Ur unknown Friend
Nick
May the strengh be with you my brother.
Ur child is in the creators hands (God), Im sure he keeps an eye on u every moment of the day.

Floren
Junior Member

since 2000-09-08

Posts 37

70 posted 2000-09-12 12:52 PM

thank you italianpimpster for your kind words...

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