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Open Poetry #9
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The Wind in the Trees (response to Steve's challenge)
| Open Poetry #9 |
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The Wind in the Trees (response to Steve's challenge) |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion 
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You love to walk when it is late, Alone at night with steady gait. It gives you time to reminisce, Of opportunities you may have missed. And of the dangers that may come To a young woman who has noone? You play the odds and venture out, Feel my eyes as I lurk about. Many the nights I've hidden there, Up in the trees, up in my lair. Silently following you, tree to tree, Knowing you'll fall victim to me. Yes. I see you run for your home, Then getting there think you're alone. Not disappointed, I muffle my laughter, I always catch the one's I'm after. Please, little girl, go walk tonight. Yes. The streets will be alright. Listen closely to the wind in the trees, It's not the wind. Oh, Lovelies! It's me. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
um? rather dark Long John... a nice write on an eerie thought? |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
So that was what the prickling at the back of my neck was. Alone. At night. Well written. Hi oh. Be well Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
LJA, this is actually quite frightening. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Rebel - the challenge was to write something a little more toward the macabre. So, I grabbed something I wrote some time ago, added a couple of verses, tuned it a little, and posted it. Actually, as I read it now, I wish I had taken the time to write two or three more verses. Alas - it's too late now. Kethry - Did you feel the eyes watching you? Did you hear the faint rustle that stopped when you did? Good - sleep tight, but don't let you hand dangle over the edge of the bed. Just for tonight. Tomorrow night it may be better. Claire - Thank you for the compliment. I think the scariest things in our life are the things just beyond the light, unknown, waiting, watching, planning. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
LongJohn, you're scary under any circumstance..no need to dress it up (but I'm glad you did  ) Very creepy...so is the poem |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
LngJhnAg, a great write, sure should scare off any lovelies that would even try to be close by...  regards, sudhir [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 09-12-2000).] |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Who's scared of a little breeze, as long as I know it's you. Very original theme, and well written Liz |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Liz.... you trust me??? Rats - I was hoping I looked more the part of the Romance Novel rogue.  |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
You may be the wind whispering the steps that cease when I do but even if you're evil there's a good side to you, too. Would that you would take my blood like some post modern vampire it only would serve as kindling for a much deeper fire. So follow, follow if you must I'll run like a good girl should but when I sleep and enter dreams I'm anything but good... wooooooooooo! Corinne |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
A little macbre yesss but a bit of zealous anxiety in it as well. Very nicely done and I would say you met the challenge well with a little bit of a twist in it. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Corinne - So follow, follow if you must I'll run like a good girl should but when I sleep and enter dreams I'm anything but good... wooooooooooo! To which I must reply... wooooo hoooooo - That was HOT!!! mark - Thanks for that - I appreciate it when somebody recognizes that I hate being in trees (unlike those stupid cats), so this isn't really me. |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
Well geeezz thanks LongJohn. I love to go outside and sit in the dark but you can bet I'll be listening closer now. And if I happen to spot you in a tree I'm calling the men in the white coats, hehe...Great read my friend you met the challenge well. Juls |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Reminds me of a great story...so I'll save that for a later time... good job, Silver! |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
LJA~ I just love scary stories and this is one of the best scary poems I've ever read! Very cool! -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
Deliciously frightening! A challenge well met! It's always the simplest of things that become the most frightening when shown in the right light! I like, I like! Trev. |
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