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Open Poetry #9
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049

0 posted 2000-08-31 07:07 PM

When She Was

When she was three
the wall around the garden
was a path,
it circled her dreams
and wandered fragile with flowering
and perfectly greening weed.

She slipped inside a secret there,
with her cat close at heel,
she in corduroy and hand knit sweater,
curls flying.

She loved the dandelion
and the swaying limb of the plum tree,
the Acacia in bloom,
little paths across the waist high green
wore the imprint of her galloping feet.

She liked a self day,
draining sun and sour grass,
her vision in just a back lot
held her safe
from the hands that ate fragile for dinner,
swept it up and dumped it
after feasting on its innocence.

and for a time there was carefree
and she could feel the rub of fur against her leg
and forget
that everything was not alright.

© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
1 posted 2000-08-31 08:27 PM

Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
2 posted 2000-08-31 08:41 PM

Would be nice to go back to that sheltered little garden wouldn't it...hugs my friend, you have touched my heart with a heavy hand of weave tonight~

linda munday
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315
Adelaide, Australia
3 posted 2000-08-31 08:45 PM

Sigh..... if only.

Beautifully portrayed and very touching, and I remember that for my life too.

Take care,
Linda Munday

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
4 posted 2000-08-31 08:54 PM

Martie- your writing is superb... i can visualize this and you have chosen perfectly phrased lines to paint a memory with layers of color... excellent!!! thank you for your very fine writing.


Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2000-08-31 09:48 PM

I read many things in this Martie...and since I'm not seeing any other responses in the frame of mind that you have now posed for me, I will keep my two cents of thought, but thank you for doing yet another piece well done!
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
6 posted 2000-08-31 10:17 PM

It always amazes me how you recall details about what people do and how they move form past times. You must have a photographic memory and turn those visions into beautiful words. This is delightfully written

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
7 posted 2000-08-31 11:06 PM

What we must put behind us -
What we must let go
As we get older
As to adult we grow

I remember the the garden
The sandbox as well
Corners for hiding
Secrets we couldn't tell

Thanks for taking me back Martie - (I think)
No - seriously - I loved this - but you'd know that

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
8 posted 2000-08-31 11:22 PM

A safe harbor of retreat in which to escape the reality of pain within the homelife.  I see it a little different as well and my two cents is exactly as I stated it.  A couple of things pop into me mind.... a child in a life of poverty in such or a child of abuse.  Either way the back lot is her safe place of escape from all that.  I may be totally off but as you and I agree on one thing....a poem may be interpreted many ways and those are mine.  In any case it is a wonderful write and I loved it you know.
Jenn E
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589
Kelowna, BC, Canada
9 posted 2000-08-31 11:30 PM

I found this very deep and well worded. Are you sure you are not published? Beautiful read.........yes, many views on this I would have to agree. I enjoyed it, makes the mind work a bit.......
Jenn E

Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
10 posted 2000-08-31 11:38 PM

I'm with you, Mark. When one refers to hands that ate fragile for dinner and feasted on innocence...well, it doesn't make for pleasant thoughts...I'm sure Sunshine agrees, too.

Expertly written, Martie....

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
11 posted 2000-09-01 01:10 AM

What breadcrumbs you strew along the path.

Such subtle imagery to take us to the safe retreat of that child.

Love ya'

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~

Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
12 posted 2000-09-01 02:24 AM

         It must be that we all desire to return to that garden of innocence now and then......a safe place with total freedom!!
           Thanks for the memories!

Today is a gift....
That is why they call it
'the Present'!

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
13 posted 2000-09-01 06:41 AM

A most magnificent retreat...

gotta love your work, now and till forever....

regards O Martie,

Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
14 posted 2000-09-01 10:34 AM

Martie, a wonderful write, I was thinking this was a vivid memory piece, until those last few lines. I got the same picture as Mark and Bal, and I don't like that picture very much. A wonderful piece, whatever is behind it, though the thoughts make me sad.


Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
15 posted 2000-09-01 11:36 AM

Oh Martie, Such gentle, tender memories you have brought to life with your words of this sweet little angel.  I swear I could see her on the path wearing her little corduroys.  This is a simply beautiful, wonderfully written memory.  Bonnie
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
16 posted 2000-09-01 11:40 AM

Cindy--thanks for the hug!

Butterflies--Yes, I think we all have different places to retreat when life gets to hard...this was mine when I was a child.

Thank you Linda for the sweet reply.

doreen--I am complimented by your words, for I admire your poetry a great deal.

Sunshine--Thank you for your words...I know part of this picture was not so pretty, and it was the worst kind of killer of trust, sexual abuse at the hands of my grandfather.

Liz--since it was my life, it was easy to remember...and I'm happy you saw the delight.

Bill--thanks for letting me know your understanding with such a sweet verse.

Mark--You got it right, cowboy...thanks so much for being you.

Jenn E--What a nice thing to say...I have had a few poems published I am very happy to say.

Balladeer-- Thanks for the expertly done...I really didn't mean for this to be a guessing game...I should have explained it maybe in the beginning...hope it is clear now.

Marge--Love you too!

Sunny--I still have a garden like that...but in it I can see everything more is not for hiding, but includes remembering.

Sudhir--you will always be so sweet, now until forever.

Parker--No part of the picture was not very wasn't meant to be...there are so many sharp contrasts in life.

Thank you Bonnie for your touching words.

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