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Open Poetry #9
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Between You And Me
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Between You And Me |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374
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Ever wonder Is there anything besides what's under The sheets With me Between you and me Ever conceive There could be anything more you need From me With me Between you and me Ever believe This is a real life version of fantasy Right here With me Between you and me Ever imagine You will ever find the kind of passion You found With me Between you and me Ever decide How you'll make me cry... say good-bye To me To me Good-bye to you and me - < !signature--> -jaimie Website: www.ladysixstring.com - [This message has been edited by ladysixstring (edited 08-31-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jaimie D. Travis - All Rights Reserved | |||
Auguste 
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Good afternoon, Jaimie... I liked it? It was like you were thinking out loud, posing questions that you might want to ask...and probing questions at that. Take care, Michael Proust- "Love is space and time measured by the heart" |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
nice song.. very nicely done... loved the last stanza... regards to you O Jaimie, sudhir |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Sings of sweet honesty in life. very nicely written and when read out loud it is very taunting.  |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Hi Jaime, I enjoyed the implied sense of bitterness in this piece and casual format. ~ Claire (Please do not post this comment on your website. As always, I prefer to keep my words where I can see them. Thanks )Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
very good read, nice use of repetition! Debbie |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Ladysixstring, Songs of beauty, song of sadness, does it really matter when togetherness has a place between the sheets, its outside the realm of this fantasy one becomes a question or at least that is how I preceive it, you are a wonderful poet very much enjoyed. Love, Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. We have to be reminded that He exist!" (Writer Unknown) |
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ma miller Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806 |
this is a unique style, ladysixstring ... i like ... well done |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
So many hard questions you ask...makes ya think |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
To Everyone... Thank you once again for stopping by and for taking the time to comment. I apologize that unfortunately I don't have time to thank you each individually. Still, you are all greatly appreciated. Dear Meadowmuse, You brought an important point to mind... I should have asked. Consider them gone - give or take 5 minutes. I'm uploading new pages now. Thank you! - -jaimie Website: www.ladysixstring.com |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Love the way you write, very powerful, and yes the last verse really ends it perfect. Parker |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
Thank you Haleyja. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very nice format and nice soft thoughts...James |
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Steve B Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 140Southern PA |
Jaimie ~ life plays ones heartstrings many different ways, its good to keepthem in tune, liked this much Steve B |
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LM Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585 |
Hey Really nice poem, liked it a lot! |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Hi Jaimie, just came peeking thru and am glad I did this poem is a great read! Kinda claws at the heart Coco |
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