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Open Poetry #9
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Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

0 posted 2000-08-30 01:59 PM

You Are My Candy Apple

You are my candy apple,
my five point constellation
soaring by.

My petal soft touch,
my ring of iron will
holding sky.

You are my papered trees,
my ticking time space
spinning on.

My lyrical expression,
my face of tasted fame,
my new dawn.

You are my bottled free,
my street hand gift
grasping to.

My aloe soother,
my turning wheel ride,
...that's you.

© Copyright 2000 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374

1 posted 2000-08-30 02:01 PM

I've never had much of a sweet tooth but this kind of sweet I enjoy!!!



Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
2 posted 2000-08-30 02:04 PM

Hey there, ya lil Spitfire!  This poem is filled with really neat similes.  I have only one critical comment - there wasn't anything in there like,

You are my size 11 boot,
Kicking kitties
Making me feel buccaneerish.

It was just a suggestion - I won't feel TOO hurt if you don't add it  

[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 08-30-2000).]

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
3 posted 2000-08-30 02:07 PM

this is cute i really enjoyed it...but dont let LngJhn put his boot in here...LEAVE US KITTIES ALONE THERE GUY!!!!!!
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

4 posted 2000-08-30 02:08 PM

~Hey Never!!! ahha. But yeah, thanks for the suggestion. Maybe next time.  .  LoL *Peace.
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
5 posted 2000-08-30 03:17 PM

Very sweet, lighter than usual for you, SF..
Loved it.

Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
6 posted 2000-08-30 03:37 PM likes mucho.  So many small appreciations mounting to the sincerest compliment.....all these things are you.  Love it!
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

7 posted 2000-08-31 01:17 PM

~Thank you Cat for reading. Yeah,...definately lighter than usual for me but I was feeling sweet at the moment. Actually, it seems a lot lately. Which is good. I think it's that burying thing happening again though, but for now, I smile. Thanks babe for always coming by my words.
~Alicat,...why thank you mucho for taking the time. And for the love. hehe. I like the name you've given me. Thank ya.

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
8 posted 2000-08-31 02:07 PM

mmmmm...licking lips after reading aloud and yesssss it is definitely sweet.  Loved it and good job on not letting LJA and any bitterness with his boots.  Loved it.
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida
9 posted 2000-08-31 02:39 PM

This is a wonderful tribute to one that you love! I especially liked the last line that tied it all together!
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
10 posted 2000-08-31 06:06 PM

Spitfire, loved the poem very sweet.

"I concede relationships have left me weak Won't be here so I don't care Look for something worthy to replace my guilt" Mansun legacy

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
11 posted 2000-08-31 06:45 PM

Nice writing enjoyed the read.

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
12 posted 2000-09-01 12:59 PM

Hey you . . . nice writing here!!! Love this one.  I knew you had a playful side!!!  LOL.  Missed you and hope we can talk soon.  


Poetry should surprise by fine should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
13 posted 2000-09-01 02:31 AM

It is nice to see your "lighter" side again, well done!  

"The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest"
~ My Angel.

Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
14 posted 2000-09-01 02:41 AM


   Mmmmmmmm....A candy apple sure sounds good right now!  Where's the nearest fair?? Seriously.....this was fun for the eyes!!!

Today is a gift....
That is why they call it
'the Present'!

Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014

15 posted 2000-09-02 01:10 AM

This is very sweet and so are you baby flames!

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