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Open Poetry #9
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niky tamayo
Junior Member
since 2000-08-22
Posts 17

0 posted 2000-08-29 10:28 AM his sleep the other night. i remember the
leaves were still and the dogs ceased their
ceaseless barking... or maybe it is a trick of
memory, for i cannot remember anything but the
fact of his death.


in indecision, waited for the good doctor to
come and twiddled thumbs and toes... i am good
at twiddling toes... and wishing there were
something better to do at this time of the
day, like getting drunk... getting hopelessly,
insanely soused.


the car seat was more empty than usual today, minus
one life and three thirds the warmth. i fiddled with
the mirrors at every stoplight, and thought about
how deep the seat was and how small i felt, not
being used to riding on this side of the car.


the windowpanes of the house were dark mirrors today,
reflecting my thoughts in shades of orange and
lavender. i've often wondered how a sky could be so
beautiful this close to the city. laz often said that it was
all the crap they put in the air that made it so
damn beautiful.


i sat on his chair on the porch, looking at my
hands and wondering if his gloves would be too
big for me, too. my feet dangle in space as i
push the heavy thing back and forth. laz never had to
rock... it just happened for him.

everything just happened for him. the first time
his heart stopped, jesus and miracles, there was an
ambulance one block over. my little legs pumping and ragged
breath found the driver waiting for a stoplight. the man
brought laz back to life, and sure enough, his name WAS
jesus... jesus angelico de silva.

laz lived a good ten years after that.

i rock that chair as hard as i can, just to keep
it moving. laz never needed more than one foot.
he never had to sit up straight to look over the
dashboard... he never had to use a ladder to change
the bulbs. he was a tower, hard as rock, too...
and he was eternal...


sitting in the bedroom, pulling the blankets closer
in the chill... i remember that last night and that
last rough kiss on my cheek. remember promises
unfulfilled... of how we're going out to get those
new boots tomorrah'...

but there never was a tomorrah... no matter. i've
found my boots... and though they may be too big and
worn down in places, i wear them to sleep... because
laz ain't dead, and life ain't meat, and somebody
sure as hell has gotta wear them...

i felt two foot small last night when laz died...

tonight, i'm as tall as mountains.

© Copyright 2000 niky tamayo - All Rights Reserved
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2000-08-29 10:46 AM

Niky, this is library material and oh so much more than that! Touching, heartfelt, sincere...and more!

You're going to get a ton of responses...

When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ

Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
2 posted 2000-08-29 11:12 AM

What an impressive piece of writing....welcome to passions  
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2000-08-29 11:41 AM

Quite an impressive render.
I felt the overwhelming sense of loss.

Welcome to Passions.

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~

Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
4 posted 2000-08-29 11:47 AM

This is beautifully done - You and lazarus held me captive from the first word to that wonderful final couplet - Great work - Do stick around Passions - I'm looking forward to reading much, much more of your work..
Poet deVine
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
5 posted 2000-08-29 12:25 PM

This is the first of your poems that I've read and it won't be the last! If this is based on your life, I am sorry for you loss. I look forward to reading more from you. Take care.
niky tamayo
Junior Member
since 2000-08-22
Posts 17

6 posted 2000-08-30 05:44 AM

thanks for the kind words... this is an amazing (read... amazingly huge) site, but i don't have much time to stay on... really gets me that there's all this stuff here and no easy way to read it all... anyway, i hope to post at least once a week, as long as i can get away from my moderation duties at another site.

p.s.: it isn't real life, sorry... but the sentiments ring true... i often tried on my dad's boots when i was a kid, and they never did fit right... i outgrew them between babyfat and pimples and i never knew it until it was too late.

Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2000-08-30 05:58 AM

Interesting to read...James
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