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Open Poetry #9
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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2000-08-28 06:46 AM



I walked -
Travelled with I;
Twin, all alone
Solitary seclusion

I talked -
Echoed in I;
Thought single
Estranged isolation

I touched -
Feeling the I;
Cut right through
Banished exclusion


So, what's new?
Get a grip!
Think of the sun
Think. Just think.

He remains
Shining alone,
Selflessly,
Without friends
Through the day -
While his
Might-have-been friends
Come out to play
In a canopied
Accompaniment,
Twinkling in
United merriment!


Oh,
Compared to the Sun's
Undicovered Pain
My pain is so small
My pain is negligible
My pain has…vanished




[This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 08-28-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
1 posted 2000-08-28 02:10 PM


methinks, before anyone noticed this one, this vanished... sorry for the *bump*

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2000-08-28 02:11 PM


I'm certainly glad you bumped this back up!

Charming read!


Karilea
When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ

MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715
PA
3 posted 2000-08-28 02:13 PM


I  LOVED this..I am my own twin and often am alone with myself..but I loved  how you wrote and displayed it
~~soft hugs
Maureen

juliet_2u
Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125
North Carolina
4 posted 2000-08-28 02:15 PM


Sudhir as always this is so well done. You are so talented my friend.
Juls

Eloise
Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096
Wyoming
5 posted 2000-08-28 02:22 PM


No apology necessary for the bump...glad you did so.  Once again, Sudhir, very well written.  
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
6 posted 2000-08-28 04:10 PM


Karilea, Thanks a great deal... I saw this at the end of 3rd page when I checked this one... and thought maybe Ceres had some blues again like the weekend so *bumped* it...

Maureen, I am so glad that you loved this one... Thank You

Juliet, Thank you so much... for being so appreciative... and a friend

Eloise, Many Thanks...

regards to all,
sudhir

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
7 posted 2000-08-28 04:19 PM


I have felt like this before...and no need to apologize...sucha a strong sense off you in this
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
8 posted 2000-08-30 04:07 AM


Thank you Paula for your kind words...

regards,
sudhir

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
9 posted 2000-08-30 09:36 AM


This makes for an interesting read, like three seperate poems in one. I love the rhyme scheme used in the first portion of this.
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
10 posted 2000-08-30 12:14 PM


Thank You Ruth for your read and response too...

regards,
sudhir

Steve B
Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 140
Southern PA
11 posted 2000-08-30 10:29 PM


I know these things sighhhh all to well...
very well expressed... Steve B

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
12 posted 2000-08-30 10:33 PM


Sudir my friend, you are a master. Excellent, what a pen you have sir. It's a pleasure to read your work.
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

13 posted 2000-08-30 11:16 PM


Sudhir, the diversity that you display so ceaselessly in your writing is an amazing thing to witness, to my way of thinking. This piece makes one think, feel, and question. Powerful as well as lovely, my friend.

~ Claire< !signature-->

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau



[This message has been edited by Meadowmuse (edited 08-30-2000).]

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
14 posted 2000-08-31 07:38 AM


Sudhir~

'While his
Might-have-been friends
Come out to play
In a canopied
Accompaniment,
Twinkling in
United merriment!'


Oh, I like this.
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
15 posted 2000-08-31 07:43 AM


Twin all alone
Solitary seclusion. Ooooohhh. I liked that *sigh*
So glad I didn't miss this one!

Kethry


"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

Marina
Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario
16 posted 2000-08-31 11:39 AM


Sudhir, this is got to be one of my favourites from you.  An excellent poem you have penned here.  I really like your choice of lines for this one.

Marina


It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen
Marina Crossley



Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
17 posted 2000-08-31 12:46 PM


Steve... thanks for coming by...

Bill... identical feelings here too... Thanks

Claire... thanks a great deal... these words have tugged the strings in my heart today...

Marge.. if you liked it, I am so much more gladdened... Thanks

Kethry, so glad that you found this and then even more that you liked this one... Thanks

Marina, you can only imagine, how much this pleases me... Thank you

regards to all,
sudhir

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