»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #9
»
Pin-balled!... Doreen is really inspirational...
| Open Poetry #9 |
|
Pin-balled!... Doreen is really inspirational... |
|
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
|
Left to right, down to top, the pin ball moved, and an excalibur dangled its ugly tip, though in its imperial regal shine, only to force a hurt to self pride and then I gave the ball another thump and it wheezed past the trillion obstacles and came through intricately placed tunnels. As the counter started running up the tempo the redhaired girl behind gave me a nudge. I looked her in the eye listlessly facing defeat dazed, almost lusting, man changed to a beast, losing never mattered more than a kiss from the flaming red tinted lips. And the beast became a man again when the woman said, "Ha! You oaf, there goes the ball pinned to it's soft death like peanut butter on top of porcupine head!" She laughed, She scoffed, She left the scene with a puff of disgusting cigarette smoke in my eyes. Smoke gets into my eyes The loss then hurt kiss long forgotten, I went homeward bound hands in pocket feeling foolish echoes of a billion dogs barking at seeing an intruder in his own house; as if a small child hid his face in shame felt by having seen me teased, tousled, and discarded. I was pin-balled! |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
How do you get better each day? You adopt styles and then they become your very own! You are spreading your wings, and flying high...well done, Sudhir! |
||
|
Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Sudhir.... You got me with this one: "like peanut butter on top of porcupine head..." !!!!!! I am a peanut butter 'nut', so to speak....and this was wonderful writing!! Today is a gift.... That is why they call it 'the Present'! |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Karilea, your words of high praise affect me in the best possible way... thanks sunny1, thank you for your compliment... regards, sudhir [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 08-26-2000).] |
||
|
brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Sudhir, wow, now I am really jealous, while I am meandering around in the same poetic style rut, you are penning such gems. I agree Doreen is really inspiration, and I can see her style's impact on the poem coupled with your own unique style...a stunning partnership, continue to fly to greater heights. Excellent stuff here, "I concede relationships have left me weak Won't be here so I don't care Look for something worthy to replace my guilt" Mansun legacy |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thank you very much, brian... your words of praise really boost my ego... but I don't agree with your words here "while I am meandering around in the same poetic style rut, "... your style is unique and brilliant... and don't even try to be a jack of all like me for you are a master in the way you write... regards, sudhir |
||
|
doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
POW! Ping! Pang! This one's no Tilted, meaningless flashing lights, Sudhir! you sure can play a mean pinball! i could almost see myself there... except for the fact that i'm blind... (oh, but you knew that!)... glad to inspire.. thanks for an interesting read  |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Doreen, Thanks for the mighty words of praise regards, sudhir |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
