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Open Poetry #9
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Take a deep breath and say it....
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Take a deep breath and say it.... |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 
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Oh, to be near you! An incredible surge of emotions. A quickening of hearts, as fingers brush faces. Calms quickly with the creeping quiet... But the mood remains intact. For much more is said, in that oh-so-charming smile. Such hopeful connotations, written in mine eyes. See?! Try with your heart! You might hear my wish, echoing off the walls. The same wish I wish every night. For you to understand... Can you hear it yet? Shhh....I'll tell you... Allen, Allen.... *A breath* I love you. Understand? "I'm sorry for telling u love was unnecessary... making u lose ur way. I'm sure I'll be as sad as u feel." ~Touch and Go |
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| © Copyright 2000 Christine Straka - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
AniKay83... Never stop wishing that wish..... he'll hear you...... This was a very endearing poem! ~~ To Live is to Give ~~ |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 |
I couldn't if I tried! Thanks. ~Krissie "I'm sorry for telling u love was unnecessary... making u lose ur way. I'm sure I'll be as sad as u feel." ~Touch and Go |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
AniKay~ You little 'in love' creature - you ! ! This is adorable. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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jennie may* Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 122 |
Love it! How many times I have wished myself that my lover understood me. I love the way you capture the moment with words. My favorite part is the ending...it's so creative: "*A breath*" Good piece. "We have all these galaxies inside of us. And if we don't enter those in art, then I don't understand the point in doing anything."-Sam Shepard |
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Beth Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468WA, Australia |
~Oh, I agree with jennie may*. There has been countless times I just wish. Great writting....Loved it!!!~ |
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Michael G Senior Member
since 2000-06-25
Posts 579Nashville |
never stop wishing and never stop trying.....wonderful writing |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 |
Thanks you guys. That's what I was going for with the ending. The moment where all you're thinking is "Don't Forget To Breathe!!!" At least that's how it was for me! ~_~ Later,  Krissie :  /font>< !signature-->"I'm sorry for telling u love was unnecessary... making u lose ur way. I'm sure I'll be as sad as u feel." ~Touch and Go [This message has been edited by AniKay83 (edited 08-03-2000).] |
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Jenn E Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589Kelowna, BC, Canada |
I agree with Michael G, never stop wishing, for if you do how will it come true? I liked this very much. Jenn E |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
AniKay. . . I hope that he hears you!!! Wonderful poem my friend. . . ------------------------------------------------------ That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Oh, to be near you! An incredible surge of emotions. A quickening of hearts, as fingers brush faces. Calms quickly with the creeping quiet... But the mood remains intact. For much more is said, in that oh-so-charming smile. Such hopeful connotations, written in mine eyes. =============== ooohhh i love this... very cool poem.. and title... tantalzing imagery and emotions building up till the end... excellent vocabulary choices as well very well written take care jm There are places inside our souls - that have never been touched. There are places inside our hearts - that need to be loved this much. ~jm~ |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 |
Thanks so much! I'm going on vacation for 10 days and I'm going to miss Passions and ALL of you while I'm gone! *sniffle* I'll be back with a bang though, so watch out! Love to all, .*.*.*.Krissie.*.*.*. "I'm sorry for telling u love was unnecessary... making u lose ur way. I'm sure I'll be as sad as u feel." ~Touch and Go |
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