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Open Poetry #9
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Usually True
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Usually True |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374
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Free is never free and too good to be true is usually true and though I never really saw love 'til I saw through you doubt's an old companion with a tough time letting go and when I want to tell you yes that's when I hear me saying no hear me saying no Some people today it seems they're only being kind and when they promise you the world you need to read between the lines still, you just keep on giving though I don't give in return but when I need to feel the fire that's when I'm scared of getting burned scared of getting burned When I open up my heart I'm scared it's gonna bleed so when I feel me getting closer I just stop and roll sleeve because my heart feels so much safer when it's somewhere I can't find but when I try to run away from you I've got nowhere to hide got nowhere to hide Just so many rules out there you know they claim the same they say that if you will just follow well then you will win the game but when I think I've got it figured out I end up on my own and somehow even when I question you you always lead me home always lead me home -jaimie www.ladysixstring.com |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jaimie D. Travis - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Jaimie--I really like the way you wrote this...the repitition of the last line in each stanza...great. Many wonderful lines..my favorites. I never really saw love 'til I saw through you but when I need to feel the fire that's when I'm scared of getting burned because my heart feels so much safer when it's somewhere I can't find and somehow even when I question you you always lead me home Practically wrote the whole poem again did't I...well now you know I liked it! |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
Thank you. I almost got rid of "because my heart feels so much safer when it's somewhere I can't find" so I really appreciate you picking that one out. < !signature--> -jaimie www.ladysixstring.com [This message has been edited by ladysixstring (edited 08-20-2000).] |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
For lengths sake... I left the "chorus" out of the above post. For anyone curious it is... Feel the fear in me lead me away from you, Feel the love in you leading me home. -jaimie www.ladysixstring.com |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Jamie, this is wonderful. . . I could almost hear the melody in my head as I was reading it. . . And it may be "Ususally True", but sometimes, there is an exception. . . Excellent. . . ------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
"when I need to feel the fire...that's when I'm scared of getting burned." I am quickly becoming a sixstring groupie. Aside from being formatted in an excellent vocal style, your words are REAL. You have talent to spare and I thank you for sharing it with us  |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
Thank you very much Sven and Balladeer!! -jaimie www.ladysixstring.com |
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