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Open Poetry #9
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First try at Haikus
| Open Poetry #9 |
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First try at Haikus |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
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First attempt Ripple in the brook Glitters in her opal light In love with the moon Ciccada's old song Warns us of winter to come He's always on time Little bird of song Silent on a swaying twig Still captures my heart Don't know if this is right Liz |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
right? They are perfect. I knew when I saw your name and the first attempt I was going to be treated to a special gift and I was.....three of them....beautiful all of them alone and together. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
If all of your knew ventures turn out this good, you should always be trying something new! I love them  |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
You seem to have done it Liz, and soon I hope to join your ranks shoulder to shoulder on the haiku-field (this might be the only playground where we might be equals, still, unless you speed away like all other forms...  )regards, sudhir |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Mark, I'm not sure they're perfect as far as content, or perhaps I'm thinking of old rules. Antway, thank you for your compliment. It is very encouraging Lakewalker, Thanks so much for reading my poems. You really do a lot of reading and I appreciate it when you comment on mine Thank you Sudhir, If you want to Haiku me, go right ahead, and I'll quip a Haiku right back at you. Let's see Master of all prose Master of all poetry Sudhir likes Haiku Thanks for your wonderful comments, dear friend Liz |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~First attempt little lady? Hhm. You sure? This is a beautiful piece of writing. Take care now. *Peace. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Elizabeth, The first one is perfect. The other two are only wonderful Love Sy |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
You excel at any form you try! How are the rest of the Villanelles of the Month coming along? You didn't think I'd let you forget about them, did you?! Denise |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Elizabeth,you really should write haikus more often...loved all three especially the second one |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Kaile, I don't know where you found this, but thank you for reading and for your kind comments, and to all who responded, I thank you also. This must have slipped to the back and I hadn't seen all the comments. Very much appreciated Liz |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Lizzie~ These are just lovely. I'm glad it was brought back to the top as I surely had missed it. Well stated, my friend. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
#1 - they're all 5-7-5 - so in my book they're haikus #2 - there are some - who will make some statement about the last line resolving something or some such BS. As like those who are not content to merely look at the simple quality and beauty of the statements and go bonkers with this or that technical jargon. Ignore them! To you I say: Poetry thoughtful Sublime and most intriguing Woman for us all |
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