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Open Poetry #9
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Quiet Storm
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Quiet Storm |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
QUIET STORM < !signature-->(Collaborated with a friend on this one) Slowly, as I got out of bed, a dark cloud rolled over the cool morning sky. The wind blew softly across my tear stained face. I took a deep breath of clean morning air. I could smell the early morning dew on the wind. The breeze gently kissed me awake. Along with that cool breeze came remembrance of you and the love we once shared. With my mind in deep thought, I went over to the fireplace. The ashes from the night before were still in the gate. The sight of the cold dead ashes reminded me of the lonely life that I lead. As I gazed at the ashes, I thought of the love affair that we once shared; like the fire that once burnt in the fireplace, it to slowly died out and left nothing but the ashes of a broken heart in its wake. With the memory of broken dreams and broken promises still in my mind, I walked back to the window. I looked up at the morning sky that was now growing darker with the fast moving clouds for the east. I could smell the rain in the air before I saw it. I could see the rain in the distance before I felt it. Just the way you deceived me in our rlationship, I could smell it before I saw it. When I finally saw what a fool you were making of me, I did not want to understand or believe. When the rain came, it was cold yet sweet like good wine. That cool soft breeze had turned into a strong gale; one which blew strongly, but in a gentle way against my face. As I stood there watching the acts of nature, I couldn't help but to compare them to the shattered pieces of our romance. Your deception to that of the rain and my reaction to that of the wind seemed to mirror the paths that we had taken. The soft patter of the rain gave way to a downpour, which mingled and matched the tears that ran down my face. The storm outside grew quiet. I, like the storm, did not one sound make, as I cried away all my pain. No Thunder, no lightning, just sweet rain that washed away all the hurt in my heart. (I must credit a past co-worker, Miss Reid, for all her work on this one. She's a great poet herself. She very emotional.) Garfield [This message has been edited by ggrn3 (edited 08-18-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Garfield Green III - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Everyone, I collaborated with a coworker, Miss Lynetta Reid, on this one. I, myself do not know if Mrs. Reid had experienced a relationship problem, but much of the work in this one are her words. We were both so proud of this one, that I just had to share it with you.< !signature--> Garfield [This message has been edited by ggrn3 (edited 08-18-2000).] |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
you are fortunate to have such a friend - I'd nurture this relationship -- this poem speaks clearly a message worth recieving |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
That was an emotional piece. You have a great friend... and you are both very talented. Keep up the great work!  "The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper." Eden Phillpotts *Cassandra Roseen* |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Dawn & Wilfred Thanks for your comments. My friend has moved away to Louisiana I believe. Although we no longer have any contact, I do have this poem in which to remember her. Garfield |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Your two talents mix well together and you should try to get ahold of her if only to explore this avenue. I will bet she would love to share the Passions forums with you. well written and full of emotion. |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Thanks Mark for your comments. I do not think that I ever see my counterpart again. I've lost all contact with her. It would have been nice to do another poem with her though. Garfield |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
This is so sad yet so beautifully written...to bad you lost your partner...but I am sure you can find someone here willing to write with a talent such as yours, if you want to collaborate again. |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
This was sad but a wonderful, wonderful piece of work here! I agree with Paula, I'm sure you could find someone to write with you. With a talent like this that you have, it would be an honor to write with you. Great work. Sauni Sauni :) Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Paula & Saunni I'm so glad that you both liked the poem. I would love to collaborate again, but from reading many of the poems in my short time in Passions, I believe that I would hold up someone elses creativeness. Everyone is so good. Garfield |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
very cool analogies here...and i thought the closing lines made a powerful impact... enjoyed the read..may i add that i was refeshingly delighted to read this prose-poem?  |
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