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Open Poetry #9
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Katie
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Katie |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374
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She wears a smile she borrowed From a woman she knew a long time ago As she walks away from innocence Trying to hide the loneliness And she cries When no one listens And she dies a little inside when no one is there Katie is the kind of woman Who gets what she wants and then some 'Cause her momma always taught her success Was the only road to happiness But she cries When no one listens And she dies a little inside when no one is there She could always make you smile Make you laugh and all the while She hid her tears with a pill or two Nobody noticed, nobody knew That she cried, when no one listened And she died a little inside when no one was there Katie, you know I loved you Would have always been there for you But lonely can be an illusion That's sometimes hard to loose and... Now I cry... Do you listen? And when I die a little inside, are you there? Katie, I cry... Do you listen? And when I die a little inside, are you there? When I die a little inside, are you there? [This message has been edited by ladysixstring (edited 08-18-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jaimie D. Travis - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
She could always make you smile Make you laugh and all the while She hid her tears with a pill or two Nobody noticed, nobody knew That she cried, when no one listened And she died a little inside when no one was there .... Jaimie, This is a stunning work... Feelings of loneliness perfectly stirred... and then with the following words, you round up the beauty of the poem... WOW btw-  WELCOME TO PASSIONS with this for a starting post, I can expect many strong beautiful poems to come from you... My regards, sudhir |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Jamie, thank you for such a personally stirring poem...you have no idea what this means to me...thank you... |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Have to agree with Sudhir, this is truly moving work and it tugs at the heart where selfishness intervenes to cause emotional sorrow...well done! |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Mrs. Sixstring Your poem was definitely stirring. I enjoyed reading it. The borrowed smile from a woman she knew long ago caught my attention right away pull me on into the poem. Garfield |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
"But lonely can be an illusion That's sometimes hard to loose" How true...may you never be cursed by such visions. Peace... and welcome to PIP. |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
Would make a lovely song. I liked very much Jaimie. |
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JnR4eva Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 377Bronx, NY |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS  this poem you have penned is very sad and tragic...hurt filled words...and so real...you have done a great job with this piece and I look forward to reading more "my love is my motivation my love is my inspiration perception of this poem is your interpretation" -- me |
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Knight Dreams Junior Member
since 2000-08-16
Posts 46Austin, Texas |
Well you played upon the six strings of my heart as this was touching and very moving. Thank you |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Welcome to the family! Wow what an entrance! I look forward to reading more from you. Please check your email for a special message>  |
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ddgoose Member
since 2000-07-25
Posts 250Baltimore, MD, USA |
ladysixstring Welcome to Passions. I too, will be looking forward to more of your work. This poem is certainly #1. didi |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
I don't know that all of you who took the time to comment on my "Katie" will stop back by to read this, but I want to say that this poem is very special to me... and you've made sharing it a wonderful experience. Thank you all for your kind words. -jaimie http://www.ladysixstring.com |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very sad indeed...kinda reminds me of myself...but I needed this and I'm glad I read it. |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Welcome to passion's......definitely looking forward to reading more of your work WOW |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
Welcome. I enjoyed your poem. It was very well written. Hope to read more. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Welcome to Passions I can't wait to read more of your poems if they're as great as this one. |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Welcome to Passions Jaimie ... enjoyed your song ... It's a keeper to be sure |
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JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
Welcome to passions Jaimie this is absolutely great writing......I felt every word.....i hope you enjoy this site as much i have been...... Julie :) |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
this is somehow reminiscent of some song lyrics i know deep inside me but i can't figure it out right now because it's 1:45AM and i should have been asleep 2 or 3 hours ago.... but whatever it is that it reminds me of, it was something that i loved a lot or else i was just imagining that i remembered something like this and if that's the case, forgive my rambling.... L* excellent verse... well written, succinct... some fine lines in here ~ all you can really ever expect out of life is a good apology and some decent poetry ~ |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
aahhhhh here it is...your first one. I caught the other post earlier and let me just say once again Welcome to Passions and it looks like you have much to share. This is a heartwrenching poem and put beautifully down with your pen. Check out your web site and must say....way coool.... |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
I'm glad I read this - it was perfect without the ending - and even more so with the trailer that finishes it. |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
welcome, I too thought of this as a song...almost a folksong style ...nicely expressed ~~soft smiles Maureen |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Yes here it is...again welcome to Passions...what a grande entrance you have made...hope to see many more. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I did love this---and methinks me knows Katie very well---welcome to the forum, lady, looking forward to enjoying more of your work!!! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
I wanted to let you know that i visited your website.... i'd love to hear you play... may just take a trip out to baltimore ... maybe you could put DC or Northern Virginia on your tour?? i hate to have too much fun and have to drive home... hehe... *grin* maybe i'll just bring a friend and get a motel room and stay up in Baltimore for the night... your work is exciting... looking forward to your performance... very glad you found us here at passions... wondering what led you here... WELCOME ~ all you can really ever expect out of life is a good apology and some decent poetry ~ |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Ladysixstring, Awesome poetry here, yes it sounds like this poem (Katie) means a great deal to you and why not you wrote very beautifully about her this was a wonderful first post, I hope to see more of your work I really loved this one and also welcome to passions I think you will like it here. Love, Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. We have to be reminded that He exist!" (Writer Unknown) |
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