»
Main Forums
»
English Workshop
»
Black Sherbert
| English Workshop |
|
Black Sherbert |
|
|
Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Prettily perspiring pores in farm kitchen early sun, provocatively right angled hips and shoulders, she palm cups cheeks, and elbows the bleached pine table. Peroxide pony loosely hung, my sister paws over the mild pornography of the local peoples' paper. North Wales is no news, and written Welsh no sense to her nubile girls and well made men need no translation. Gwyneth and Gareth in pink pixels bare, burn blushes as bright as any Gaynor or Gavin. She finger flicks pages as she has men, impetuous, greedy for news, anything not old not seen, not done, mind print dirtier with every turn, like the grey whorls of her life. Linked first to a lithe lathe worker from Leith, she loved him down to her upper class core, then clamped and spun to shave the last shreds of him. Tooled him to fine swarf without even the coolant of compassion. Hitched next to a bulky trucker, a ton of guy, but tough as tender thyme shoots when her black ice glazed his tread and worked his gear to impotence. She climbed a little to pull the chimney sweep, but soon, like the soot startled puss pinned to his pole, he shot gladly from a shaft deeper, dirtier and darker than four neglected storeys. Last week, in white, she wedded Bodedern’s banker. I watched her, dimpling in the weak summer sun, satisfied. I turned to pity him, but saw something matching her, and my sister’s overdraft in his eyes like armour. [This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 09-06-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Poertree - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
I had to read this a couple of times to really appreciate all the metaphors, similes and alliteration! I think this stanza is hysterical! "Hitched next to a bulky trucker, a ton of guy, but tough as tender thyme shoots when her black ice glazed his tread and worked his gear to impotence" and this one too: "Peroxide pony loosely hung, my sister paws over the mild pornography of the local peoples' paper" Thanks for sharing a particularly, pleasing,portion of poetry! |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
OMG, such delightful writing.... read this five or six times with varying speeds and stressing differently on words... each time it sounded unique and fine... A nice poem that itself doesnot stand on Alliteration alone... Content wise, a masterly told story... in the briefest way possible... absolutely liked this one here "She finger flicks pages as she has men"... and the ending too... and a brilliant title... Sherbert (Sherbet in proper English/spelled Sherbert mostly in Australia - have no clue as to why  ) - acc. to me ... picked up from Hindi/Urdu when the English traders came to India and drank some cooling fruity drink... and this is a concoction, a story brewed... the black may have been in lines to black satirical story (me thinks, but me mistakes as well)... anyway, had tremendous fun reading this one... thanks for that... regards, sudhir |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Philip's pornographic poetry puts pulseless people to performing palpations.< !signature--> Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". [This message has been edited by Prometheus (edited 09-09-2000).] |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
uhhuh [This message has been edited by Prometheus (edited 09-09-2000).] |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
PHEW Philip, I can't believe I missed this! a very intense and interesting read  Loved every line and where it took my mind. Excellent my dear MP  Maree "If my words could blanket the skies and fill every corner and crevice of this earth, still this wouldn't be enough" "Maree Russo" |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
i can't believe you missed it either dear. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
