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Endless Eternity
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Endless Eternity |
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Jone Junior Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 41 |
Tomorrow brings what today has. Today has what tomorrow will bring. Peace and love control our lives, Our lives cannot be controlled. Life is made of our realizations, Of who, What, We are. We don't take opportunities, Because we fear the outcome. If we do not take our opportunities, Then it is our fault. We didn't make the move, We didn't make the decision, It was our fault. It is not that we are not good enough, We just didn't place ourselves there. Life cannot continue like this, We must stand, Stand tall, Stand proud, Stand out there. You cannot hide in a maze, A maze created by your own mind. You are your own worst enemy. You keep yourself back, You and only you. Others may try, But you can control how others treat you. It's is pure joy when you finally, Finally control yourself. Put yourself out there, True gain comes from true risk, Life and love are risk and gain. Make a choice, Take a risk. Love yourself... [This message has been edited by Jone (edited 02-22-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jone - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
excellent work You cannot hide in a maze, A maze created by your own mind. You are your own worst enemy. You keep yourself back, You and only you.... words of wisdom...great job... janet marie Now for me some words come easy... But I know that they don't mean that much Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch. You never knew what I loved in you-- I don't know what you loved in me... Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be... How long have I been sleeping- How long have I been drifting alone through the night... How long have I've dreaming I could make it right... If I closed my eyes and tried with all my might To be the one you need... Jackson Browne |
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Jone Junior Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 41 |
thanx for the reply |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Jone: Out of all of the poems that have been posted here in the last few months, this is perhaps the most insightful. Excellent poem, I was impressed. These are definately words to live by, if only everyone actually listened to such good advice. The lines that struck me were "you cannot hide in a maze, a maze created by your own mind, you are your own worst enemy, you keep yourself back, you and only you." WOW! and "make a choice, take a risk, love yourself," this especially made me think because I often struggle with this. If only everyone could learn to fully accept themselves and love themselves then the world would be at their fingertips, we could achieve anything. Great words of wisdom, my friend. I look forward to reading more work by you. I do have one criticism, however, the line "peace and love control our lives, our lives cannot be controlled." This line does make sense to me, I know what you are trying to say, but, the line is also a contradiction and I didn't like it. You say that love and peace control our lives, but then you contradict it by saying our lives cannot be controlled. It doesn't flow, in my opinion. I would rather peace and love control my life than alcohal or an adidiction, etc. So, if you are trying to say that life cannot be controlled, then why say that something does control it afterall, it contradicts your point. But, I still enjoyed this poem immensly. Take care, Melissa Honeybee  |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Wow Chris, this poem is so powerful. You never cease to amaze me with your words. Excellent poem! Applause! Take care, Melissa Honeybee |
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Jone Junior Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 41 |
THank you for your insights into my poetry i like to explain myself so i thought that i would "peace and love control our lives, our lives cannot be controlled." you will often find contradictions in my works.... i blieve that life is one big contradiction and that there is no uniform or pattern to anything and that anything that is possible also isn't... it is confusing it was also a way of saying... if peace and love control our lives, and that our lives cannot be controled.. that peace and love cannot truly control our lives unless we want them too. |
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Jone Junior Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 41 |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Jone, Good advice, great poem. I'll be looking for more. Parker |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Jone~ I really like this. Contradictions are really a part of our lives, are they not? Wonderfully thought out and presented. Enjoyed much. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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christies heart Member
since 1999-08-10
Posts 189NJ, USA |
I loved this and also think that contradictions are sometimes why people have such trouble with taking "control". Live is often about contradictions and mixed emotions. |
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Jone Junior Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 41 |
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