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Open Poetry #6
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Tell me what you want!
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Tell me what you want! |
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Brent Hotchkin Junior Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 42Florida,USA |
Tell me what you want! As I sit here pretending. I know what it wants. I can barely hear myself thinking. Over the incessant taunts. If I knew what you wanted. I would do it I swear! You leave me confused. While I’m pacing. You just sit there and stare. You’re always with me. I can’t tell the difference Between your thoughts and mine. Tell me what you want. With your voice so divine. I feel you pulling me Away from the struggle. But I still cling In a defiant rebuttal. If I leave everything behind. For destination nowhere. Can I have your word? That we will find happiness there. I can feel you in my heart. The burn is like fire. I just can’t figure out. What it is you desire. While this sense of confusion Constantly surrounds me. In everything Insignificance drowns me. Every time I think I have found the right path. I can see you soul As you sit there and laugh. Why do I feel out of place? Why do I care? Why when I pace? You just sit there and stare |
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| © Copyright 2000 Brent Hotchkin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
Brent~ Very good poem. You illustrate your point very vividly. This is the first poem I have seen you write, so I look forward to reading some more.  Dawn Eclipse |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
You pose some interesting and important questions in this poem. It can relate to many different situations. I hope you find that answer to the questions you pose. |
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Brent Hotchkin Junior Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 42Florida,USA |
Thank you Dawn. My sisters name is Dawn. I am glad you liked it. Thanks Marilyn. I hope I find the answers as well. I think I know the answerd I am jus making it hard on myself. I have a few things hold ing me here. and I get metaphoricaly clostrophobic. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Ugh...I can feel your aggrivation and frustration dripping off of this piece!  Whew....glad someone else knows how it feels. I've been there, and done all the things you speak of! I don't wish that on anyone....so life-sucking it is... |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Frustration, unfortunantly is one of life's must's!! Been there, done all of that m'self...sometimes being single has it's advantages!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Great poem Brent! Know that feeling well. It seems to me you know the answers, now you have to find the courage to do something about it. (HUGS) May the world hug you today, With it's warmth and love. I pray it whispers a joyful tune in your heart, That tell you there is a friend sitting in another corner of the world, Wishing you well and wishing you love...... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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Brent Hotchkin Junior Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 42Florida,USA |
Yes devina I often miss those advantages. Thank you Icis. You made my day. |
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