Somthing I wrote (is it good?)

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Nikkisweet
Member

since 2000-02-14

Posts 183
Tx, Dallas

0 posted 2000-02-17 12:07 PM

I know things are bad
Don't get mad
I know it can be tough
Please be rough

Please don't frown
Write your thoughts down
Mabye in a letter
Don't worry it'll get better

Try eating some junk food
It might put you in a better mood
Go for a walk
And mabye a little talk

Just know I'm there for you
And that I love you too
Put on a smile
As long as a mile........

(Deticated to my friend who is having some family trouble. It'll be ok.)

[This message has been edited by Nikkisweet (edited 02-17-2000).]

Nikkisweet
Member

since 2000-02-14

Posts 183
Tx, Dallas

1 posted 2000-02-17 12:09 PM

1st part of the poem
3rd line.
It is soposed to be tough,not rough

CMGrimm
Senior Member

since 2000-02-14

Posts 685
USA

2 posted 2000-02-17 12:13 PM

Very sweet Nikki....
Very well rhymed, well structured poem.

Your friend is very lucky to have someone who cares for them as much as you do.

Thanks for sharing that with us. I'll hold your friend in my prayers.

(By the way, never ask if it is good. Only YOU know the answer to that question. Poetry that comes from the heart will find an audience of it's own, so long as you allow the audience to be graced by it.)(But, for the sake of answering your question, yes it is.)

Chris

Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.

spiked
Senior Member

since 2000-01-13

Posts 873
Hammond, La USA

3 posted 2000-02-17 12:13 PM

nikki this is cute. i like it.
you can edit your mistakes if you realize them after.(I do it All the time)
Rich

[This message has been edited by spiked (edited 02-17-2000).]

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

4 posted 2000-02-17 12:14 PM

Nikkisweet, you can go into the edit function and change it. Click on the icon with the pencil above your poem. Then click on the submit button and it's fixed! Nice poem! Welcome to Passions!

Denise

just_another_fe
Member

since 2000-02-05

Posts 483
MICHIGAN

5 posted 2000-02-17 12:15 PM

THIS IS A GOOD POEM BUT YOU SHOULD GO BACK THROUGH AND EDIT IT. MABYE = MAYBE . I SEE YOU RELPIED INSTEAD OF CHANGING IT . DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW/ ALL YOU GOTTA DO HUN IS GO TO THE TOP WHERE THE ICONS ARE AND CLICK ON THE LITTLE ICON THAT IS A PEICE OF PAPER AND A PENCIL. IF YOU KNOW HOW THEN SORRY IM JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT

Nikkisweet
Member

since 2000-02-14

Posts 183
Tx, Dallas

6 posted 2000-02-17 12:19 PM

Thanks guys!!

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