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Open Poetry #6
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square, circle, triangle
| Open Poetry #6 |
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square, circle, triangle |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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-square, circle, triangle- A square once white, Greyed by all it had seen, Collapsed in a crowded hall. Some squares nearby Knew how and why It had finally let itself fall. But mostly it was seen As a shadowy dream; Just a tile from the floor or wall. A circle then gave a loud speech But an ellipse eclipsed the words. It rolled over to the podium spastically, And with its appearance proved quite drastically That true round wasn't the only way to be born. This admonition caused painful revelation; The more perfect shapes tried to exit the hall. But since the flat-faced doorknob had covert sympathies, They could not get out at all. Finally! It was triangle's turn to make a stand. Two of the shapes were so clearly out of hand. The squares were either beseeching or ignoring a fallen friend. The circles were spinning like quarters in their haste to find an end. But, unfortunately, triangle was in the wrong room. The shape was the only of its kind, so couldn't get through. It made many points, but the circles didn't like its spin. Even the lone ellipse said triangle didn't fit in. The squares thought it a lesser version of themselves. So triangle decided there was no message to send. |
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| © Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Breathe~ Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315Washington... |
My head is spinning...*L* This is clever! You have a unique style for sure...  Freedom of expression is the watch word... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks. This poem was more an excuse to experiment than anything else. I got to get a little humor in there, and some subtle puns. It's all good. Mike |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
hey can I ditto the author's comments? "a little humor, some subtle puns....its all good"!!! liked this much...hmmmmm I think I must be a triangle....most times I feel like I am in the wrong room too....good work |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Nice work. I always enjoy a thought provoking piece. Well written and I can see you put much thought into this. |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Very whimsical and a joy to read! Corinne |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, all. Mike (not exactly sure what shape he is) |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
thank you for a great read. this coming from a true triangle... (Well I tried to make it at least look like one.)(Anyway, good experiment) Chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
bsquirrel, LOL, Great Read! And so much fun! And this time, I promise to shut up. |
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Nikkisweet Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 183Tx, Dallas |
Nice poem. So what is the secret to writing good poems? I know I haven't found it out yet considoring how bad I write. I love to write its just I guess I don't understand it as well I think I do. By the way..thanx for responding to my poems. You're the only one who does. They must be pretty bad. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
CMG, Oh no! Don't make me rhyme about UNDISCOVERED shapes. Glad you enjoyed.serenity, No need to be quiet. I like your commentary, and am still waiting for the inevitable backlash. (just kidding) Nikkisweet, You need confidence to want to do things your way, and be able to separate what's important and true from how people might react to your work. Actually, that's pretty much how to go through life; successfully for yourself. And "through" isn't the word I'm looking for. "Savor"? Closer, but still not exact. Mike |
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dash rendor Junior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 21 |
Great. I always read your work. You make everthing so clever and exciting. The spin you add to your words add so much flavor and color. Nice job. Even your experiments inspire. |
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dash rendor Junior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 21 |
Great. I always read your work. You make everthing so clever and exciting. The spin you add to your words add so much flavor and color. Nice job. Even your experiments inspire. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Hi, dash. Thanks twofold. Mike. |
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Chris Goodman Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 92Issaquah, Washington usa |
I can not say enough that I love imagination. I like the way this poem works & it was a joy to read. Thanks for thinking so hard sometimes it is difficult to warp your brain and really write a good piece. Chris Blue Moon |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
*bows* She said burn ... together. |
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