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Open Poetry #6
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on the edge of goodbye
| Open Poetry #6 |
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on the edge of goodbye |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209
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I fell hard hard enough to break my dream and lucky for me I was smart enough to not put it back together it had to happen my strength, my friend because I just watched your fingers slip over beyond my reach you need to go more than I need you not to so I fell beforehand to keep me from dying now on the edge of your goodbye my wishes hold you still... [This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 02-16-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
Strong effective imagery here, I liked it. |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
This is amazing writing! I love this piece. Sometimes it's hard to stand by and let go, but often times it is the only thing we can do. Beautiful poem, I'll be looking for more of your work! It matters not how strait the gate; How charged with punishments the scroll; I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. --W.E. Henley |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
thanks beki...and tara....sigh...yep...specially online friends, the distance gives you no choice, but to wait hope and pray |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
*sigh* this one gave me chills for some reason....probably because I know the feeling well ((((hugs)))) |
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Breathe~ Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315Washington... |
Very powerful... "you need to go more than I need you not to" this line really got me...I have been there... I'm so sorry you are hurting...*HUG* Freedom of expression is the watch word... |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
This one deserves a big hug m'friend!!! HUG!!! I can feel your sorrow...you've conjured up some great images with this one!! You hang in there, girl!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This one hurts to read... for I know all about those wishes... *S* Great work! |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
hoot_owl_rn thanks ruth...yes...loving someone sometimes means letting go...not easy....thanks much  Breathe~ "I have been there..." thanks for the understanding...big hugs for you too devina thanks...big hugs back suthern "This one hurts to read" that is a compliment to my writing I know...but so sad that it is true...it hurt to write too... thanks my friend |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is sad and beautiful, Corozon! Wonderful writing! Denise |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
*sigh* I love "you need to go more than I need you not to" I was thinking something similar earlier on.. HUSG Ouvrir mon coeur et âme |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
"because I just watched your fingers slip over beyond my reach" Wonderful, descriptive writing...and so easy to feel as well as read. Claire |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Oh, you have such a wonderful, fresh way of expressing. I like it!! |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
Denise thanks, you always say the nicest things RainbowGirl, yep its hard when loving means letting go …sigh Meadowmuse thanks, most of my poems are about "feelings" I envy the poets who are more diverse Martie glad you liked, like your way of expressing too |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
The way you can transfer your feelings to paper without losing anything in the transformation is truly remarkable. This one speaks volumes. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very, very nice. I've believe we have all been in a relationship at a certain level and stayed longer perhaps because the other did not want to let go of us. I can quickly think of two like that and my holding on made it harder for them to leave and harder for both of us emotionally. James |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Corazon, I really liked the ending very honest I think... Parker so I fell beforehand to keep me from dying now on the edge of your goodbye |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
Balladeer, thank you...am glad my feelings come through clear, some poems like this, tell a story, and I am not always sure that it will mean anything to anyone but me...sigh jm...thanks ...and yes its hard to know where the line is....there's always a what if? haleyja...thank you, I have just reached this point of honesty...was living in my dream before... |
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