Open Poetry #6 |
Biloxi Trilogy |
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
These poems were not written together but they were written at the same place under the same circumstances... and thus are forever linked in my mind. *S* The first is semi-autobiographical.... the other two are observations. *S* Biloxi Blues I just want to go home But I'll stay for a while Hoping a stranger Will see me and smile. The house is so empty Now that you're gone; I don't think I can face One more evening alone. Loving another Won't make everything right Still I ache for someone To hold me tonight. All I need is a body Someone's willing to share To help me forget You no longer care. Bar Talk If perhaps again we meet Another time Out on the street, Forgive me please If I pretend I've never known you As a friend. For now, I'll share my hopes, My shames Tomorrow I'll not know your name. It doesn't matter much tonight The time is here The moment's right I feel my inhibitions flee And I, at last, Am somewhat free To show me as I am to others Who wear the dark's Protective cover. But morning brings Reality And shatters illusions Carelessly. To protect myself I must conceal Relationships That might reveal The person I am here tonight - It's not forgetfulness, Just fright. Hello, Again Old lover, old flame I don't even Know your name. Too many nights With other faces Have left only Fleeting traces Of your memory Here with me Tonight. That's all right. I doubt you remember me Either. |
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© Copyright 2000 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
Wizzard Member
since 2000-02-09
Posts 209 |
Suthern, These are kinda sad but very well worded. I Use to live in Biloxi as a kid and I went to Pass Road elem. I hope that your able find your way home or find what it is that your heart is longing for. Nice writings Suthern Today is the first day of the rest of my life. And the begining of a new one. |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
wow, when You decide to post, you really let us have it...these are excellent...just as you say....a slice in time....great work girl |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Wow! But what else should I expect.. HUSG Ouvrir mon coeur et âme |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Wizzard: Thank you! I never lived in Biloxi... but there was a time when I visited often. It's changed so much since the casinos have opened... my visits these days are solo and much more pleasant! *S* Corazon and RG: Thank you both very much, dear ladies!! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Wow, an impact felt far and wide with this/these. Been there done that as the saying goes. Nailed this you did Suthern! [This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 02-15-2000).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Very well done! I like the way you formatted the place with 3 different times. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Excellent! To me, they work as one piece, only segregated - if you know what I mean. LOL! K 'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Suthern Gal~ These are three absolutely WONDERFUL pieces. The intertwining of place and observant mood just adds to them. I like all three VERY much. Very much, indeed. ~*Marge*~< !signature--> ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] [This message has been edited by Marge Tindal (edited 02-15-2000).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Deep bows to you, Suthern. These are really wonderful...and the way you connect them together makes them more powerful yet. This is exceptional writing....give us more!!!!! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Christopher: I once showed these to one of the people I'd been watching... when he told me I'd written his life, I knew I'd captured something... thanks for the affirmation. *G* Marti, Severn, Marge, & Balladeer: Thank you so much for reading... and especially for your kind comments! *S* |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
WOw...suthern, these three poems display the ability you have as a writer very vividly...nice work |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
woah woah woah i loved em i did! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
These are all wonderful, Suthern! You made me feel the emotions in them! Denise |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Thank you Hoot, Walt, and Denise!!! I'm very glad you liked them! *S* |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Belle! OMG - So! It was YOU who I saw with her top off dancing on the table that night! I wondered who it was who spirited you out of that place. I was hoping you could tell me, but I guess you can't - lol. These are terrific poems. I especially liked the first one because it reads so well when done to blues beat.. duh duhduh duh dunh.... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Thanks, sailor (nodding blonde head)... I'm just full of duh's! LOL. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
I never realized you led such a wild life. You must be a real tiger when the blues hit. lol |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Oh yeah..... Ain' single life just grand?? Hot dates whenever ya want 'em... Whining, men, and song.... "It's Been a Hard Day's Night".... hehe... Nice job here, suthern... |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Lady Suthern... I'd say these were a solid 16 bar riff of the blues. My compliments to you and yours.... And my I say, you seem a much happier person these days. Peace |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
LJA: And even without the blues! *EG* Nan: Yup... about as grand as having teeth pulled without anesthetic! LOL Thank you! Andrew: Thank you... I am, indeed!!!! *S* |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Nicely done suthern....almost like you took a page from my life ... (From a time long long ago though)LOL... Anyway, beautiful poems all three. Thanks for an enjoyable read. Chris |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
I was so glad to catch up with this one. Your talents pour forth on these well written poems Liz |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Thank you, Chris!! *S* And Elizabeth, thank you for catching up... your kind words mean much to me! |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Certainly a triology Well done there The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
So much talent here suthern ....... I really love how you combined the works into a captivating read ..... Marvelous!!!! [This message has been edited by Pepper (edited 02-20-2000).] |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
oops ... sorry .... [This message has been edited by Pepper (edited 02-20-2000).] |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Suthern I love your poem titled Biloxi blues, truly magnificant, we all go thru this at some time in our lives and reach out desperately for someone who will hold us and admire us. It could just as easily be Waikiki blues. You have written about it so beautifully. James |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Helmut, Pepper & James: Thank you for reading and your comments. And James, you're right... those blues could have been sung anywhere. *S* |
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