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Open Poetry #6
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The Jawbone Lane Incident
| Open Poetry #6 |
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The Jawbone Lane Incident |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
As I walked home down Jawbone lane And pondering quietly on that name The virgin snow was lapping at my feet The sermon which I’d talked and told Delivered in a church so cold Not many souls had come to take their seat I’d talked about life and death Sin and forgiveness in one breathe But I knew the seeds were falling on dry loam We’d sang the songs drank the wine Gave thanks’ for a friend of mine I’d bid them peace and sent the small flock home I’d slammed closed shut the huge oak door I’d turned into the lane once more And here I was trudging on my round The air was sharp and icy clear As narrow path I tried to steer Then I saw a shape crumpled on the ground The shape just lay there stony still As I approached from down the hill What it was the Lord Himself could only guess Just by the hedge now to the right There lay another awful sight A motorcycle crumpled in a mess I approached the shape the fallen man I thought I’d do just what I can And oh so gently…I lifted up his head He was quite still….just lying there With blood now seeping through his hair It was now clear …this man was nearly dead And then his eyes flicked open wide I quickly left the vanquished side And rushed to get some water from the beck He looked as though his soul was bared As now with flicking lids he stared At the crucifix hanging around my neck It seemed to lift his spirit so His breathing now was soft and slow And then he gave a long and lonely cry ‘Forgive me father with that jewel I’ve been so vile I’ve been so cruel Forgive me now this night before I die’ I lay the cross upon his head ‘You are forgiven friend’ I said I said the things that fathers often say He held my hand clutched my arm And then I felt his turmoil calm His eyes fell closed and his spirit slipped away The scene returned to silence then I was about to leave so sudden …when The next thing there it made my mind unfurl As I raised my eyes from him In gossamer..,gaunt and thin I saw the outline of a. ………Little girl ‘It’s over now’ she sweetly said With golden curls around her head In her small hand she held a cherished cup And then outlined in frosty air The next event I witnessed there The spectre of the broken man….stood up My heart stopped dead in disbelief It wasn’t joy it wasn’t grief As the ghost the Childs’ hand... he kissed And then a burst lit up the sky And before I asked the question…why? The two dissolved into the winters’ mist The next day after troubled sleep I wondered back to tend my sheep I bought my usual paper on the way I find it hard to write this tale For when I read my skin runs pale But in brief I’ll tell you what the papers say As to my face the papers hold And reading there in words so bold The words so big they make my being lurch In my belief it strengthens me For forgiveness reigned that night you see It read A LIITLE GIRL MURDERD NEAR A CHURCH Jon Mewett Near where I live there is a narrow lane of this name.It leads to a small ancient church. This is my attemt to hang a 'Legend' on this haunted place. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jon Mewett - All Rights Reserved | |||
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childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
Jon - your "attempt" has covered me with chills. Haunting in it's events, beautifully peaceful in it's forgiveness - wonderfully written. This is absolutely awesome!!!!! |
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Walter Ego New Member
since 2000-03-07
Posts 5 |
I love this ! Never again can I pass a litte church without thinking of your story. I really enjoyed how you build (up?)this story to the end. Do you have more ?  |
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wonderous Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 75 |
you have the gift of making everything so vivid. though i must confess i dont understand the T is it some sort of style? |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This gave me chills too, Jon. Excellent writing! Denise |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Awesome story you tell here Jon ! |
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Another Heather Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 93Canada |
Jon, you have such an amazing style to your writing, this one is no exception. but I'm afraid I didn't totally understand your legend. Who murdered the girl? sorry if it's a stupid question but I've read it again and again and I still can't figure it out...:0 "Be yourself... No matter what they say" - Sting |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
Thanks everyone for your kind comments. Although I believe a piece of Art,or intended Art, in my case, has a life of it's own once it has left the authors or creators table,I will try and cast a light on this piece. I know every ones reading can be different and they are all valid,thats the great thing in all of this. 'Who murderd the little girl?' Good question The inference is that the priest had forgiven the injured man without the knowledge that a murder had taken place that night. The apparition the priest saw was of the murder victim also forgiving the man for her own murder.This is what the priest believed he saw. On reflection of the events that night the priests own flagging faith was also strengthend. But it could have been a coincedence and the dying man was just the innocent victim of a motor cycle accident? Look again what do you think? I'm intersested. I not sure I understand the question about the T. Is it the spelling of Spectre. Try me again. I'm not sure of the protocol of having these discussions,but I enjoy them. Jon Theres joy in heaven for every sinner that repents |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Jon, This is hauntingly, beautiful. You weave a very vivid tale. Here's the way I interpreted it: The irony was that the motorcycle victim was the one that murdered the girl and ended up dying in the same spot--almost like she beckoned him there. That's pretty eerie. Then the girl forgave him, because now her spirit was freed. ~Gene [This message has been edited by u_gene (edited 03-16-2000).] |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
Gene you have an incisive mind. Hopefuly more interpretations will follow. Watch this space. Jon |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
Is there anybody out there? |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
I liked this...the eerie feel, the mystery. I think the motorcycle guy murdered the little girl and she wrought her revenge on him! LOL What fun! More More ~X~ |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
it was a very good piece, it was vivid. i think that if you maybe gave more clues that the mtorcyclist had done something bad recently then it woulkd be easier to assume that he was the killer. right now, as it is, you can still assume he was an innocent...or is that your intent? |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
Everyones own interpretation is correct. Could the dying man be the 'Friend' the priest spoke about in the sermon? You can never tell. Jon |
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wonderous Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 75 |
hi sorry i havent been around cause i had to submit a dissertation si i have missed out on this very interesting discussion i agree with ugenes interpretation thought the same the T is not referring to any spelling i was just wondering about the insertion of the capital T in the words is it some style of writing? please let me know |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Excellent work...you've done a great job here...scary.... |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
Hi wonderous The T you talk of is the capital T at the start of a new line.I think that's what you mean. It's just a way of making the verse look tidy on the page. Poetic licence-- The only licence that is FREE. It's a wonderous thing. Jon |
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childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
Jon - my interpretation is that the priest was losing faith because of his disinterested congregation and possibly the lack of feeling Gods presence in his own life. I interpret the "friend" spoken of in the beginning as Jesus. I also came away with the feeling that the little girl was murdered by the man on the motorcycle but I "felt' that as he was leaving the scene of the murder is when he came to his own end. The little girl forgave him and BOTH of their souls could than be free. This all buoyed the priests faith - to have been witness to such a "miracle". Again - excellent - EXCELLENT piece of work!!! |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
Childomine Your powers of interpretation are fantastic. Thanks for your comments. Jon |
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twinsgd Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 416Ontario,Canada |
Great story Jon Mewett Perhaps the Priest was witness to the "Other side" the "Parallel Universe"......two entirely different events at the same time...."a burst lit up the sky".....a rent in the time space continuum?.....great stuff Jon. |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
This is interesting twinsgd. I've always had an interest in that sort of thing,you know the fish in the water can't percieve what's on the bank of the river. But what does he make of the ripple he can see when you touch the surface of his world. Kind of makes you think don't it. Jon |
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John the cat Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 357England |
I would just love the ability to tell a story like this. To make it scan too seems almost too much to ask. You have a great gift. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This has been moved here from The Corner Pub at the author's request. Denise |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Jon, I don't know the true meaning, but it doesn't matter. Your poem is so well written and captivating. I believe the fact that it is left open to inerpretation is a sign of a great poem. Congratulations on this wonderful piece Liz |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Finely crafted. Enjoyed muchly. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This is a wonderful story and very well told... I really enjoyed it!! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
For the record, Jon.... I interpreted your work as you wrote it - It's very well done, indeed... As for protocol... Discuss away!!..  |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
Thanx you guys for the welcome. It's appreciated very much. Jon |
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pen of passion Member
since 1999-08-11
Posts 234 |
Easter: talk of sin and forgiveness in one breath. Excellent writing. |
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