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Deer at Dusk
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Deer at Dusk |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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Deer at Dusk The ocean swallowed the sun, it was Monterey in l981 when love was new and nights were beginnings. The folding sea opened in lines of foam, slow and predictable with the heartbeat of earth as the sky tinted your soft look and melted me. As darkness descended the pine grew eerie, splayed out and molded by invisible hands of wind. Your arm was heavy on my shoulder and my thumb held your belt loop as we cross the moon strewn grass of a golf course, quietly sleuthing in trespass. We had entered through a hole in a fence, just the right size for romantic squeeze to slip through, you said. A movement on the lawn startled our lawless amble, angry guard dog we thought, but as we gazed a statue came to life, then another caught in graceful dance. They were the deer at dusk softly nibbling and giving no attention to our surprise for they must have thought their magic was all that we had come for as they posed with fawn in frolic. No evening escapade has ever held quite the same enchant as that night in Monterey with you and I and the deer at dusk, when the ocean swallowed the sun, in l981, for love was new and nights were beginnings and dusk was dear. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
HAH! You should see me in the morning!  Exquisite as always, Martie...... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
dear deer, I knew when I posted this that it would catch your eye...LOL...thanks for your wonderful sense of humor and your always kind comments! |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Martie, I rarely print out any poetry, relying on the wisdom of Ron to keep Passions operating for perpetuity. I had to print this one out however. You knew about the deer we have that feed at the neighbors; we also have a golf course nearby in the sandhills on which many deer roam. (in Kansas, we say the deer and the antelope roam alot) but I digress, an exquisite poem Martie... for I see the deer on the golf course as dusk equally as well in your poem as I do in real life. |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
I've never been on a golf course, but I've been in many meadows and clearings at dusk when the deer come to feed. Staying very still, I have watched their graceful movements; their careful alertness; their quiet beauty. ~ ~ ~ You took me to those memories so beautifully. I loved your poem. Personification of joy and hope, in a dusk that was dear, while the ocean swallowed the sun. (What an exquisite way to describe it!) ~ ~ ~ [This message has been edited by Rosemary J. Gwaltney (edited 04-12-2000).] |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Beautiful, Martie! I love it! Denise |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Beautiful, Martie. Your use of imagery and recollections/descriptions are so lovely! Corinne |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Mike, you mean mine wasn't the only magical golf course--and you get to see them all the time and I only this once. I'm so glad this one appealed to you. Rosemary--thank you, my friend, for being so dear. Denise--thanks for the beautiful love and happy birthday. Corinne--Thank you--your opinion means alot to me. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Martie, the way you've shared that night with these words is magic. Beautiful writing! ~ Claire |
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weaubleau Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 101MO |
amazing. there for a minute, i thought i was in monterey with you...wonderful picture painted in my mind. lovely poetry |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Claire and weaubleau--I'm so glad that you could share the experience with me. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
You know how to make dusk a whole new experience, Martie..  |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
wonderfully romantic! Kathleen |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
What a wonderful romantic story. The kind that is never lost from memory, just one of those moments in time that never fade. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Nan, Kathleen, Danny--Thank you so much for enjoying this romantic evening with me. |
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