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Open Poetry #6
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Trapped
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Trapped |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
CLICK! Check the shutter speed. CLICK! Smile and pose for all to see. CLICK! Picture perfect family. CLICK! The empty chamber sounds. CLICK! He holds the camera as he did the gun. CLICK! She can never, ever leave. CLICK! There'd be no empty chamber. BANG! |
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| © Copyright 2000 Marilyn - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This is so stark and frighteningly stong...Wow! |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
WOW is right ! Marilyn, this is awesome! Writing at it's best! Bravo! ..... "Man is complex .... he makes deserts bloom and lakes die." Dr. Laurence J. Peter |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
Yikes Marilyn! |
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Esmeralda Ponsonby Member
since 2000-04-02
Posts 138 |
Wow, You've left me speechless |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Speachless here Marilyn....this one hits me hard and below the belt. Very effective writing  I'm sorry I can relate though. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Very striking presentation...what an impact! ~ Claire |
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bobbycat Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 233USA |
So few words, but so much impact....excellent work here--you definitely got my attention with the line: "He holds the camera as he did the gun." Liked lots.  Bobbycat =^..^= ~~Blessed Be!~~ |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Marilyn ... bite your pencil !!! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Were you loaded when you wrote this???  THIS is terrific, Marilyn. Great thoughts, few words and an extremely powerful impact. This is poetry, my girl....VERY well done. |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I just don't have the words to express how I am feeling about all of these amazing responses to this piece. I was sitting in my livingroom listening to the ticking of my clock. The word click came into my head and this followed. I knew it was powerful but never thought it would recieve this kind of responses. Thankyou all.  |
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